1. Introduction and Theoretical Overview.
Applied Knowledge.
Theoretical Framework for the Book.
2. Dating, Courtship, and Marriage Today.
Dating.
Courtship and Engagement.
Early Marriage.
Why Get Married?
3. Your Personal Style.
Flexibility: A Crucial Characteristic.
Kindness: Sibling to Flexibility and Key to Relationship Success.
Maturity: Cousin to Flexibility.
Extroversion and Organization.
Desired Characteristics of Mates.
What About Change?
Congruence in Perceptions.
4. Your Emotional Climate.
Emotions, Moods, and Dispositions.
Emotional First Aid.
5. Special Issues and Concerns.
Issues of Timing.
Learning to Love.
Danger Signs and Other Challenges.
Working with Special Issues.
6. Values, Behavior, and the Family.
Self-Awareness.
Conflict.
Compatible Values.
7. Your Parents' Marriage.
What Is the Big Deal About My Parents' Marriage?
Conflict and Emotions.
Power and Control.
Trust and Commitment.
Relational Scripts.
Discussion with Parents Regarding Their Marriage.
8. Your Relationship with Each Parent.
Your Biological Self: Who You Are Today.
Attachment and Personal Worth.
Gender.
Fathering.
9. The Stress and Trauma in Your Family.
Trauma Resulting from Volitional Acts.
Trauma Resulting from Nonvolitional Acts.
Evaluation the Effects of Trauma.
10. Social Context: Gender, Race, Ethnicity, and Geography.
Social Purpose of Marriage.
Group Identification.
Environment and Marriage: Ethnicity, Socioeconomic Strata, and Geography.
Who Are You?
10. Spirituality and Religiosity.
Defining Spirituality and Religiosity.
Influence on Dating and Marriage.
Sharing Spirituality as a Couple.
A Dynamic and Confusing Issue.
11. Your Preferred and Actual Couple Style.
Preferences Regarding Conflict.
The Actual Styles of Couples.
Natural Changes.
12. Negative Communication Patterns.
We Have Found the Enemy and It Is Not Negative Feelings.
Reciprocating Negativity.
The Cascade to Isolation and Divorce.
Resisting the Pull of Gravity.
13. Positive Communication Patterns.
Positive Thoughts About Your Partner.
Attention and Connection.
Positive Reframing of Events to Give Partners the Benefit of the Doubt.
Effective Self-Disclosure.
Acceptance of a Wide Range of Partner Thoughts and Behaviors.
Empathic Listening.
Willingness to Let Go of Differences.
Effective Problem Solving.
Trust.
14. Emotional and Physical Intimacy.
Emotionally Intimate Relationships.
Intimacy Journey.
Sexual Intimacy.
Threats to Intimacy.
15. Problem Areas, Disapproval from Others, and Violence.
Unsolvable Problems.
Disapproval from Others.
Violence Between Partners.
Substance Abuse.
16. Satisfaction, Stability, and Marriage.
Satisfaction.
Stability.
Final Thoughts.
References.
