Introduction: Unveiling Your Golden Core

It takes a lot to follow the beat of someone else's drum. It takes even more to hear our own drums, tweak, and adjust them to our liking, and then follow the beats that we choose in the manner that suits us best.

The dictionary definition of leadership is "the action of leading a group of people or an organization." I disagree. I believe leadership is a personal quality, not a job description. Having a manager title does not necessarily equate to real leadership. Leadership to me is a way of being that makes people around us want to follow, engage, trust, and go over and above, not out of any requirement to do so, but out of a voluntary desire to do so. These are people at home, work, in our community, and in our friend circles. Intentionality and action are at its core.

I believe leadership is a personal quality, not a job description.

Interestingly, there is no dictionary definition for self-leadership. According to an article on PositivePsychology.com, "the term 'self-leadership' first emerged from organizational management literature by Charles C. Manz (1983), who later defined it as a 'comprehensive self-influence perspective that concerns leading oneself toward performance of naturally motivating tasks as well as managing oneself to do work that must be done but is not naturally motivating' (Manz 1986)" (Neuhaus 2020). It was discussed mainly in the context of it being the necessary gateway to leading other people, much like I re-introduced it in my previous book, The Art of Caring Leadership.

In 2021, I wrote The Art of Caring Leadership, which provided a behavioral framework for leaders to use to demonstrate more care toward those who look to them for guidance in some way. In that book, I wrote a chapter about self-leadership. It was the first chapter and the longest by far, because, after all my research, I realized that it wasn't possible to demonstrate caring leadership without first leading oneself. I am proud of that body of work, but quite honestly I didn't go far enough with defining self-leadership and providing a strong framework for people to follow and really live out. I also regret not making it completely clear that anyone, no matter their title, can cultivate self-leadership. This is part of the reason why I decided to write an entire book on the topic.

This book is going to take a different path. I will introduce a self-leadership model that is grounded more in self-discovery and self-empowerment and not necessarily with the focus of leading others. For our purposes, self-leadership will be defined as the journey of growing inwardly to shine outwardly, spiraling upwards through self-awareness, and purposeful action.

Self-leadership is the journey of growing inwardly to shine outwardly, spiraling upwards through self-awareness, and purposeful action.

An acronym that helps ground us in this definition is GROW:

• Growth: Developing oneself from within
• Resilience: Bouncing back and moving forward with grace
• Outwardly: Extending one's influence and impact into the world
• Wisdom: Leveraging insights and experiences for continuous improvement

Let me share a story that perfectly illustrates definition.

In the heart of Bangkok lies the Temple of the Golden Buddha, where a magnificent statue stands not only as a sacred effigy but also as a testament to the resilience and undiscovered treasure within us all. This statue, which weighs a staggering 5.5 tons and stands about 10 feet tall, is made of pure, solid gold and is valued at hundreds of millions of dollars. Yet the true value of this statue is not merely in its monetary worth but in the story it tells - a story that perfectly encapsulates the essence of self-leadership.

For centuries, the Golden Buddha was encased in a layer of stucco and colored glass, a disguise created by Thai monks to protect it from invading armies. The disguise was so convincing that everyone, including the invaders, overlooked it, seeing it as nothing more than an ordinary clay statue, albeit a large one. Not until 1955 was the true nature of the Buddha accidentally discovered, when the statue was dropped while being moved, revealing the brilliant gold underneath.

I learned of this story for the first time in January 2024 at a retreat meant to focus us on what was most important in the coming year and getting results based upon this renewed focus. The promise was that we would begin to receive blessings and even messages about what we say that we want before or after the retreat. While I remained hopeful, I was a little doubtful. The facilitator shared this story of the Golden Buddha in the context of self-actualization as a byproduct of our work during the retreat. We all hoped to discover some new, transformative insights and come out of it with renewed vigor. I was slightly intrigued when I heard this story, but what happened the next day is what shocked and amazed me.

I attended Mass on the morning of the second full day of the retreat at a local church not far from the retreat site. I sat there prayerful, listening and just taking in the beautiful surroundings. At the usual point in the liturgy, the deacon began to deliver his homily. To my delight and surprise, he shared the exact same story of the Golden Buddha. I chuckled under my breath. I had never heard this story in my life and now I had heard it two times in less than 24 hours? I saw this as one of the messages I needed to hear and as an extension of my retreat learning. The parallel that the deacon drew to this story was regarding a local school that he saw as "hidden" in their community in plain sight, but the school and its students needed to be revealed and nurtured, much like that Golden Buddha. They had so much to offer the world, but no one knew about it. As he described it, the community had placed so much clay over the school that no one could get to its core goodness. This deacon wanted to do his part to make sure those at Mass that day realized the school's brilliance.

This tale serves as a metaphor for the focus of this book and what needs to happen to us and inside us. Like the Golden Buddha, each of us is layered with a protective covering - made up of self-doubt, societal expectations, and fear of the unknown. These layers often prevent us from recognizing our true worth and the potential that gleams within. The Art of Self-Leadership is about peeling back these layers, chip by chip, helping to reveal the "golden" core within each of you and then using these insights to learn to lead yourself more effectively.

Much like the retreat facilitator and deacon were vessels for a powerful message of hope, empowerment, and personal awareness, let this book serve as a reminder of what is inside of you, act as a roadmap to reveal all of your brilliance, and help you achieve more and be more no matter your title or position.

As we embark on this journey together, let the Golden Buddha inspire you. Your external persona, shaped and colored by your experiences, triumphs, and tribulations, is but a protective layer. Beneath it lies your authentic self - resilient, valuable, and waiting to be rediscovered. Self-leadership is the hammer and chisel with which you will gently remove the covering to reveal your inner brilliance.

Through this book, you will learn to lead yourself with wisdom, courage, and compassion. You will uncover the strategies to nurture your intrinsic worth, much like the monks who carefully maintained the Buddha's disguise while knowing the treasure that lay underneath. Each chapter will guide you closer to that moment of revelation, to a place where you don't simply lead yourself but can also inspire leadership in others by the mere act of being your truest self.

I have divided this book into three parts that follow an Integrative Self-Leadership Development Model (see Figure I.1). This model serves as a unifying framework for the book, emphasizing the holistic development of your leadership qualities, starting from self-understanding and moving toward external expression and impact wrapped up with the bow of continuous improvement. I broke the book down into three parts as a definitive way for us to think about what is required for true self-leadership. My goal with this model is to take the vaguer concept of self-leadership and give you real steps to take to grow in this way of being. The following lists break down how this model integrates with the chapters to help you see the big picture.

FIGURE I.1 Integrated Self-Leadership ModelT.

• Part I: Foundation of Self-Understanding
  • Chapter 1, "Understanding Your Intrinsic Worth," explains that no matter what else I teach you, if you don't or can't understand who you are and your purpose on this planet, nothing else will matter.
  • Chapter 2, "Understanding Your Limitations," acknowledges the boundaries of your abilities as a starting point for your growth.
  • Chapter 3, "Understanding Fear," addresses your fears and barriers to your self-leadership.
• Part II: Personal Growth and Sustainability
  • Chapter 4, "Deciding Between Progress and Perfection," encourages...