Chapter 1
"Golf, The Great Revealer"
Accept it or not, there is a harsh world out there. How quickly one adapts to it, learns its rules for success and failure, and creates an enjoyable, productive life, largely depends upon the qualities they learn, the character traits they develop, and the habits they form when they are young. However, it is never too late to learn anything and apply what we've learned to make us more successful.
"The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half." ~Fyodor Dostoevski
Fyodor's quote can be good or bad news depending upon the habits one has acquired. I believe his quote is accurate, but I always hope that anybody at any age can change from old to new habits. I found my life taking on more fulfillment and peace as I shed old habits and acquired new ones after starting the second half of my life, so I believe anybody can. Even so, the weight of his words should warn everybody to be careful of the habits they establish.
Many sports can be used to learn valuable life lessons. However, I have never seen or experienced a game that provides so many opportunities to learn valuable life lessons as golf. I believe no other sport or game reveals a person's character, requiring one to stand alone and accept responsibility for their decisions as much as golf. That is one of the reasons why golf can reduce a grown man to mush in a matter of minutes.
There are plenty of videos on YouTube that demonstrate that!
If you've played much golf, you have experienced it, and you have witnessed others experience the emotional highs and lows that can manifest during a round of golf. One might have a frenzied celebration exhibiting arrogant cockiness on the 5th green, yet, manifest disgruntled exasperation as they step out of a bunker on the 7th. Golf, like alcohol, can cause one to reveal thoughts one would never usually share.
One should pay attention to cause and effect while playing golf. There will be an abundance of opportunities to consider cause and effect. One can quickly learn what others don't learn in decades of playing golf if one pays close attention because most are so emotionally involved that cause and effect is one of the furthest things from their mind. I am speaking not only of the physics of golf but even more; the cause and effect of golf mixed with human nature, which is much more entertaining.
What is always on display is how one might deal with success and disappointment. Either of those can cause one to display character traits generally hidden from others. Get frustrated and angry, and you'll likely be oblivious to valuable information that may be available only briefly. Guess where most of the valuable information that could be used to make us better golfers resides?
It resides in our most difficult situations and under our greatest frustrations. Those are obstacles that must be investigated if one is to perceive the information they conceal. However, most golfers turn back the other way when they get frustrated or angry. Instead of investigating the source of the difficulty, they insulate themselves from that investigation by slamming a club against the ground and launching vernaculars.
If they've done those things enough times, they've formed a habit of those outbursts distracting them enough to bring cessation to that episode so that they can proceed to the next event. By the time the round is over, they have squandered many opportunities to learn but have at least been able to take out their frustrations a few times. The good news is that some finally get the epiphany that they could be learning from their difficulties rather than just getting frustrated by them.
Young males and testosterone
A video of five college buddies playing a round of golf requires no comedic writing to provide hilarious moments. Why? Because human nature, when accompanied by manic emotions and bountiful levels of testosterone, can reveal one's innermost thoughts with outstanding efficiency and accuracy. Some of the funniest humor is achieved when one can relate what they see to their own humanity.
Indeed, a certain amount of solace can be attained in knowing that others might be a little worse off mentally than we are. Males often find comfort in justifying their maniacal behavior when they see other males exhibit similar comportment. Mixing high levels of testosterone with others who have high levels, along with a game that will reach deep inside a man's emotions, has the potential for explosive results.
With five college-age males playing a round of golf, from the first tee shot until well after the round is over, there will typically be many detonations. Usually, a male in the group knows enough about golf and his weaknesses to control his emotions well enough to not embarrass himself to the extent that his buddies will.
Truth be told, he's expecting some of the weaker fellas to have one or more emotional breakdowns (EB's) during the round. Frequently, he may even bait one or more of his friends into an act of lunacy. How so? He has learned enough of the frustrations that can accompany a round of golf, and he is deft enough to put the bait out without them suspecting.
He then waits for this train wreck he has so ingeniously devised and is likely to start smirking when the demolition is imminent. Since college-age males will typically pounce on bait that has been cunningly laid out, they are sure to be enticed. Typically, it ends when one of his friends is mad enough to threaten physical violence.
This kind of stuff tends to be predictable for those of us who've played golf for many decades and can remember how we often took the bait when we were young. Subsequently, we often fell victim to the plans of a devious golfer who couldn't wait to try on others what had been used on him. The experienced golfer who has a devious streak knows this:
-the more testosterone, arrogance, cockiness, bullying nature, or lack of patience one has, the greater the chance they will take the bait, and the more potential for a massive explosion which will leave the architect of said demolition with a story he can tell for years.
The result of an EB doesn't mean that the police will need to be notified. It just means that the man will probably do something during an EB that will cause him embarrassment at the time or when he regains emotional control after the round. I cannot think of another sport that can take a person from a non-curser to the vocabulary of a naval seaman as quickly as golf can, and these kinds of episodes facilitate such transitions.
The percentage of young male golfers who have learned enough about golf, and themselves, to avoid such lapses in character is relatively low. Why? Because few of them have been guided along the way by a concerned mentor or performed enough due diligence noting their past behaviors as they experienced calamitous situations on the golf course.
A small percentage of golfers, male or female, have the presence of mind to benefit from their experiences as much as they could if they would just pay a little more attention. Many of the ones who benefit got started after years of frustration because they were tired of making the same old mistakes. Emotional instability will increase the odds of a golfer not benefitting from the experience.
The more one can remain calm, the better the chances of getting epiphanies that formerly eluded them. That is why most of us who have played for decades can tell pretty quickly which people will be slower at learning the valuable lessons available while playing. They are the ones who tend to get euphoric, angry, cocky, or they may panic, get frustrated, or even become giddy while playing golf. The common denominator is substantial emotional fluctuations.
Most people who want golf lessons seek full swing help, but many other factors determine how proficient one becomes at golf. If given the opportunity, I must teach an array of different skills, mental and physical, to every student who desires to become an accomplished golfer. It is especially gratifying when I can help one to see that improving at golf can help them improve in life.
The fascinating thing is that playing the game provides so many opportunities to see into one's psyche with clarity virtually unmatched in other areas of life. This clarity enables them to perceive metaphors between golf and life they would have never imagined. If they objectively note their behavior while struggling on the course, they might gain enlightenment into weaknesses in their character they previously never suspected.
While developing my game decades ago, I eventually learned that physical improvement was easier to attain than mental improvement. A person can overcome bad swing fundamentals and develop a quality swing easier than changing bad mental habits they have nurtured for years. That doesn't have to be. The less stubborn one is, and the more they are willing to change, the more they can make mental changes that significantly elevate their level of expertise.
If you haven't taken the time to watch YouTube videos of guys playing golf, you might give it a try and notice how easily you are entertained. I will warn you that the language might get a little raw because golf reaches way down inside a man and will reveal frustrations and emotions he thought he had outgrown years before.
Arrogance leads to impaired...
