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Team

During coffee breaks at conferences, delegates often tell me why they love their job and wouldn't want to work anywhere else, or they whisper in my ear that they are thinking of leaving. Either way, the motivation behind their thinking is never down to one particular reason that they can put their finger on; it's always to do with an accumulative 'cocktail' of TNTs.

People may go home and moan to their partners about TNT incidents that have wound them up that day, but they probably won't mention them at work for fear of them being seen as too petty or trivial. As a leader wanting to retain good people, I was always acutely aware of this; I was forever listening out for the things that people weren't telling me. I was also conscious of the fact that not everyone thinks like I do.

As a motivational speaker, when I'm at social functions, I sometimes get approached by people who, having found out what I do for a living, are eager to share with me their secret for motivating people. It's great that they have an interest in the subject, and I'm delighted for them that they have found the secret, because I certainly haven't! I really don't believe there is a secret to motivating people - but, having said that, I do know there are a few 'keys'.

When you consider that, in one workplace, there could be up to five different generations of people, all thinking and working differently, along with four fundamentally different types of personalities - and all from diverse backgrounds, the chances of guessing what motivates someone is like guessing the lottery numbers. We are all, thank goodness, completely different, and we are all motivated by different things.

From my experience, the first key to inspiring people with TNTs is a very simple one - it is to not only recognise and accept but to actually proactively celebrate the fact that we are all different. If we are to have any hope of inspiring all our people and getting them collaborating and pulling together as one team, it is vital that we always bear in mind that a TNT that floats one person's boat isn't necessarily going to float everyone else's.

The second key is that, before we can even begin to motivate anyone, we first of all have to somehow engage with them. If we want to stand any chance of doing this, we are going to have to listen to them and try and understand where they're coming from and, probably more importantly, where they'd like to go.

In one of the workshops I run, I ask people what it is they want more than anything else from those around them in their team. We always end up with a sea of multicoloured Post-it notes all over the walls with words such as 'recognition', 'support', 'empathy', 'respect', 'validation', etc., on them. No matter what team they are in or wherever in the world they are from, or for that matter whoever they are, all these words percolate down into the same three words at the end of each session: 'time', 'care' and 'human'.

If we want to connect with each other and help each other grow, no matter how crazily busy it may seem or how hectic it may feel, we have to make time to talk, even if it's just for a few short seconds. When we give people our time, we are sharing our most precious commodity. One thing I've noticed about all truly great leaders is that, no matter how much they have on their plates or what pressure they are under, they always manage to find time and make space to be with - and talk to - their people. When managers tell me that they just don't have the time that they need to engage with their people, I ask them how long it takes for them to say 'How are you, how's it going?'

Moving on to the second word, 'care' - we have to show on the outside just how much we care on the inside. I don't mind working long hours, commuting into work, doing a tough job, dealing at times with some difficult people and giving it my all, so long as I think people around me care. That they care not just about themselves but also about the rest of us in the team, about our customers, about our services and about what we are all striving to achieve. I think one of the main issues here is that a lot of people probably do genuinely care, and they assume that everyone around them knows that they do, but unless they are able to demonstrate it now and then with just the smallest of TNT gestures, people may well get the impression that they don't.

The third word, and for me the most interesting one, is 'human'. Like me, most people I talk to want to work with authentic people who are not infallible, who now and then make mistakes. I am always thankful for having people around me who are able to laugh at themselves, let go and have some fun. I really do struggle to connect with anyone trying to portray themselves as being perfect. By all means, go in pursuit of excellence, and please do strive at all times to be the best at whatever it is you do, but please don't ever try to come across as perfect - it's the biggest turn off there is. It's probably always worth remembering the old joke about why they put rubbers on pencils and bumpers on cars - because we all make mistakes!

I personally would much prefer to be disliked for who I am rather than be liked for some pretend person that I'm not, and I really wouldn't want to be part of a group where anyone felt they couldn't be themselves - that they had to be continuously on their guard, acting out a role, never letting their mask slip.

The truth is that we can't force someone to engage with us, but we can begin to connect more with each other through a few TNT actions, such as giving up some of our time and putting an arm around others when most needed. Hopefully, by doing this whilst at the same time being more open about a few of our own imperfections, we can all work together to create a transparent environment where everybody feels comfortable in their own skin - a place where everyone has the freedom to become the best possible version of themselves.

As a business, you will only ever be outstanding if you make your customers feel outstanding, and this will only have any hope of happening if the people in your teams feel outstanding. If they feel great about themselves and the roles they play, chances are your customers will feel great. It is the base camp starting point for any successful organisation, large or small.

I always remember being at a dinner party many years ago. Sitting around the table was a group of people from an eclectic collection of professional backgrounds, including law, finance and medicine. Hosting the evening was a retired couple, both of whom, if my memory serves me right, had previously been senior partners in a law firm. Seated next to me was a very affable man named Bill, who I'd never met previously. Suddenly, from across the other side of the table, Bill got asked a question by one of the hosts, 'What do you do, Bill?' Bill replied with considerable pride in his voice, 'I'm a salesman'. An awkward, prolonged silence fell around the room before eventually his wife interjected with 'Oh, but he did used to be a teacher!' The silence, along with a few disdainful looks and his wife's obvious embarrassment didn't, however, seem deter Bill in the slightest, as he went on to wax lyrical about how much he loved being in sales.

With Bill's attitude and that of the people in the Gleneagles team that I talked about earlier constantly in the back of my mind, it crushes me when having asked someone what they do as part of a team, they start their self-description with 'I'm just.'

It really does make me want to grab hold of them and shake them! I want them to realise that no one should ever see themselves as an 'I'm just', and that if that is how they do actually view themselves, it is unlikely they are ever going to begin to enjoy the fulfilment of making a difference for others. I think one of the main reasons why the level of customer experience we are all invariably exposed to is so mediocre these days is that there are far too many people in customer-facing roles who regard what they do as merely being something of a stop gap, until they find a 'proper job'. I want people in a team to have the same obvious level of pride in whatever they do as Bill and develop the same refreshing, positive outlook that I witnessed at Gleneagles.

The bottom line is this: if we are to get the TNTs spot on with our customers and blow the competition away, everyone must feel passionate about what they do. I most certainly wouldn't ever want any 'I'm just' or 'stop gap' people in my team. If people felt like that, I would honestly feel, as a leader, that I'm not doing a very good job, that I'm letting those who feel like that down, and that both the culture and the environment that I am responsible for are failing. When it comes to acting together to deliver TNTs, I think it is crucial that an environment be created and maintained that not only engages and retains people but also positively encourages people to want to continuously keep on learning, developing and progressing together. At the core of that environment, I'd like to see a culture that shouts out to its people that they can make a difference, no matter what they bring to the table - no matter what their...