Chapter One

The World of Work

I wish I'd spent more time at the office .

The epitaph no one wants on their tombstone.

Throughout my working life, the roles I have enjoyed most were those where, because I have had a good working relationship with my boss, I had access to the pressures and challenges that the company was facing. When you understand what the organisation is up against, when you can talk to your boss and offer helpful suggestions, you feel valued and develop an empathy for their situation. But those situations were relatively rare, and whenever the boss was 'closed' to discussing the wider company problems, I invariably felt frustrated. I am sure that this refusal or inability to share their mindset has been the cause of many an employee's experience of a mad boss.

It was when I took on a recruitment and headhunting role that I gained many more insights into how bosses think. I developed the confidence to talk to them in their language, and to see things from their point of view. But not all the candidates were managers. On more than one occasion during the years I spent as a recruitment consultant, I found myself listening to drained candidates at the end of their tether, asking for my help to get them away from utterly miserable employment situations. It is their experiences that are discussed here - in addition to those of my family and friends.

My primary activity at that time was to place very senior people, including managing directors, chief executive officers, country and regional managers, sales directors and sales managers in new positions. It was always an exciting moment to finally get to speak to the man I was after, and to see his CV in all its glory before me!

Hey, just look at this guy! He speaks three languages, has ten years in the industry and is working for a market leader! What a find - it will be great to place him! Senior, experienced, educated, and interested in looking for a new role. Perfect!

I'd get mentally prepared, have all the details to hand, and call him, "Is that Mr X?" By way of an answer would come a thin, nervous little voice, "Hello", and a wave of disappointment would sweep over me:

Can the person answering my call really be the god described on the CV that I was holding with anticipation in my trembling hand just a moment ago? Perhaps I shouldn't really go on the sound of his voice . but honestly, he doesn't sound up to much.

And from that point on it would all be downhill.

The process of placing a candidate reveals too much. In the course of several weeks you find out what they earn, what they aspire to, what they fear. You know about the details of their work history, including the details of where things 'went wrong'. You learn about the places where there were 'personality clashes', the companies they had to leave before they had 'a chance to prove themselves'.

Finding that perfect new role is a process that means a lot of time is spent talking through personal issues: where they want to live, which schools they want their kids to attend, personal details about their wife, husband, partner, dog . all the normal minutiae of life is laid bare.

A candidate's ego is revealed in the questions they ask. And when it comes to ego, size really does matter. Some candidates struggle with the scope and responsibility of the job. Acceptable roles are selected not just on the basis of the salary, but in terms of status. The questions asked are: "Who will I report to?" "What will my title be?" "What car goes with the job?" "How many people will report to me?" Of course, there is nothing wrong with these questions; they are part of understanding the role. But as they were discussed, I began to get a view of the real man or woman, the real manager behind the CV. And at this point, I would start to wonder: What are they really worried about? What are the drivers behind the personality? How will these affect their success in a new role?

Fears about failure, pressures from other areas of their life, their hopes and weaknesses, their neurosis - I was privy to them all. They worried about their age, their weight, and about going bald! Over time I became less and less impressed with candidates simply because they revealed too much of themselves, and all I could see was their common humanity.

My thoughts would continue: "How will these worries manifest in the candidate's new role?" I knew I would never see the people I placed in action, but I did start to notice patterns in the personality types, regularities in their work paths, in their behaviour, and even in the type of speech they used. On this basis, I was able to notice differences between the truly great managers and the far more common, average ones.

I am sure these bosses made a great impression on day one of their new jobs: arriving in their new, leather upholstered cars, clad in fine new suits, crisp white shirts, tasteful ties. They were sure to 'cut it' in front of their new employees. They would absolutely go on to make superb strategic decisions and start rolling out policies that would improve their new companies no end. But I would always wonder at what stage their personality traits would cut in, at what point their means of disguising their weaknesses and fears would fail.

This experience of being very 'intimate' with a lot of very senior leaders enabled me to see beyond the 'public self' behaviours that manifest at interview, to those which are lying hidden, waiting to emerge in all their glory when dealing with innocent employees! Have no doubt; every boss brings a mixture of insecurities and fears along to complement their management style. This book examines and explains the drivers of their decisions, their behaviours, and their moods.

There are any number of ways for describing personality (and many big businesses earning fortunes at profiling), so to keep things manageable, I am going to identify nine typical nightmare boss profiles. Some of the characteristics and behaviours you will recognise in your boss. Now you'll understand why they are aggressive, defensive, lazy, or moody - and learn how best to communicate with them.

So when you hear that alarm clock, I want you to have a different response. I'd like you to get up willingly and enthusiastically, and really looking forward to going to work. With all these insights into what's really going on in your work environment, you'll be able to work towards creating an atmosphere in which work is a pleasure, and in which working with the boss is mutually satisfying.

Discrimination

This is not a legal publication. If you feel you have grounds for unfair dismissal, or have been discriminated against on grounds of age, race, sex, religion, and so on, then see a lawyer. Additionally I have not sought to explore sexual harassment in any depth as the work experience in this book is dealt with at a very much more general level. I, like many other women, have experienced it in varying degrees. Within the advice of this book, I explore how you can try to avoid it: the signs to read and some actions that can be taken. But in essence, as with all forms of bullying - don't accept it!

People are in misery the world over - and I'm not talking about hunger, homelessness, or war. It's a work thing. Millions of people are stressed, bullied and dread the prospect of going to work. It's not because they are lazy, it's not because they are stupid, it's because they face an environment that causes them deep anxiety. They are the victims of bosses, supervisors, managers and team leaders who have achieved that position through no more planning than if they had picked a lottery ticket.

I believe this situation has to change. The minimum requirement has to be training for 'people in charge of people', whatever their level, and as an ongoing part of the job. In the meantime, the first action may be to give yourself some time. It is no wonder that 'sickies' can now be seen to have a serious economic impact, and a good indicator of working conditions across different countries. How many sick days does the average worker take off? Why do they do it? Because they need some balance in their lives, and, as a desperate measure, this seems like one way of coping. For many people, chucking it all in is not an option; but the alternative, the more common reality of having a continuous low-level of sickness rather than being well and happy is also not acceptable.

Consider how much time you spend with colleagues at your place of work. Perhaps more waking hours than you generally spend with your partner or family! If your time at work could be enjoyable (or at least tolerable), where you might feel valued and supported, would it change your perspective on work? Could work be fun for the employee as well as efficient and profitable for the employer?

How do you change your perspective? Essentially, the first thing to do is remove yourself from the intolerable situation - and that may mean throwing a sickie. Only by stepping back, by physically getting distance on the situation, can you become objective and learn how to make it work for you.

For bosses, training is available. Many will have completed a course of some description or another. But as you know, simply going on a course is not enough. Human personalities are usually resistant to change, and...