Beyond Me, My Selfie and I

-CHAPTER ONE- Picture This An Eye-Opening Scene from Our Selfie-Obsessed Culture The world of communications can help us either to expand our knowledge or to lose our bearings. -POPE FRANCIS, Forty-Eighth World Communications Day (June 1, 2014) Whether you refer to them as "aha moments" or "wake-up calls," I've had several such major insights, and they inspired me to write this book. One of the most profound occurred on a recent trip to Italy. This particular wake-up call came in 2015 while my husband, Dominick, and I were cohosting a pilgrimage for the Shroud of Turin exhibit. Dominick and I are both Italian American, so Italy is our favorite place to visit, and we always try to work in a few days to ourselves before and after each pilgrimage to take in the breathtaking beauty of what I call "the motherland." This time we landed in Milan, so we decided to vacation in northern Italy's Lake District, comprised of Lakes Como, Maggiore, and Garda. We had already visited Lake Como and had heard a great deal about the wonderful treasures of Lake Garda, so once we landed in Milan, off we went to our quaint little hotel situated between the stunning southern lake-side towns of Desenzano and Sirmione. Often travel websites greatly exaggerate the qualities of a particular area in order to gain more clients and make more money, but in the case of Lake Garda, they didn't even do it justice. Italy is truly the way my husband and I reconnect with our physical and-more important-our spiritual roots. It's wonderful to be proud of our ethnic heritage, but it's even more important to recognize and appreciate being a child of such an incredibly grand and magnificent God. We had four nights to spend on the banks of this majestic body of water before we were to meet up with the pilgrims in Turin, so we decided to hit a few key spots that would give us an overview of the area, the people, the lifestyle, and the scenery. The Monte Baldo cable-car ride leaving from the little village of Melcesine tucked into the hills along the lake's northeastern shore was at the top of our to-do list. The twenty-minute cable-car ride climbs 1,700 meters to the top of Mount Baldo, located in the Italian Alps. Thanks to the snowcapped mountains, the blue-green water, and the terra-cotta rooftops in the towns below, we felt like we were about to step into our own version of The Sound of Music. Even though the Von Trapp clan was from Austria, we couldn't help but feel as if Julie Andrews (playing Maria von Trapp) was going to greet us when we reached the summit. It was a little slice of heaven on earth. To top it off, this cableway has a unique feature that makes the experience even more enjoyable. The car actually slowly revolves, providing a 360-degree bird's-eye view. It truly is awe-inspiring. Well, at least it was for us. I don't know about the young couple that was among those on the cable ride with us. From the minute these two lovebirds stepped onto the platform, for them it was all about shooting selfies. All right, already-we can certainly understand one or two selfies, given the backdrop. But nonstop selfies, one after the other, on the platform, in the crowded cable car, at the top of one of the most majestic mountains in Northern Italy, and all the way back down again is not just a bit much, it's ridiculous. Sure, Dominick and I took our share of photos with our cell phones. Who wouldn't? But we did spend most of the experience trying to soak up the sights with our own eyes as we soared into the Italian Alps. It seemed the only time this couple put their phones down was to step on and off the cable car. The rest was spent posing, giggling, and snapping away. If they weren't taking selfies, they were reviewing them over and over again, pointing, nodding, and high-fiving each other as they went through their endless selfie stockpile. They were utterly oblivious to everyone and everything around them. The only thing that mattered was what was on the small screens in their hands. That's why, thanks to this experience and others like it, I found Pope Francis's words-regarding communications either causing us to gain knowledge or lose our bearings-to be both profound and prophetic, helping us to stop to think about just how lost in the high-tech, self-absorbed world we've become. Men and women undergoing drastic cosmetic surgery because they're unhappy with the way they look in pictures. One young person actually attempted suicide because of an unflattering selfie posted on Facebook.1 Tourists risking great bodily harm and worse just to capture the perfect self-image on their phone to post, tweet, and text their friends, family, and anyone else who will help give them their fifteen minutes of fame. LOST ON THE DIGITAL HIGHWAY We have lost our bearings. Even if our selfie experiences haven't been as dramatic as some in recent headlines, our obsession with selfies, smartphones, and the virtual world in general can distract us from the spiritual practices that are crucial in our search for true happiness. We need to have the ability to look upward and outward, ponder and reflect, as the Blessed Mother did so often. As Pope Francis stated in his message for the forty-eighth World Communications Day on June 1, 2014, if we're not careful, the digital highway can become a dead-end street: It is not enough to be passersby on the digital highways, simply "connected"; connections need to grow into true encounters. We cannot live apart, closed in on ourselves. We need to love and to be loved. We need tenderness. We can be so much more than just passersby "on a digital highway," as Pope Francis says, if we choose to use media-and in this case primarily social media-for more than just a vehicle to attract attention to ourselves. Maybe instead of posting one more selfie, we instead pass along an announcement about a fund-raiser for a local charity. Perhaps there is someone in your circle of friends who is suffering and in need of prayers or some other type of support. Posting a request for prayers can have huge results; it's a way to pay it forward, as the saying goes. This is the love and tenderness to which the pope is referring. QUIZ TIME: HAVE YOU CAUGHT THE SELFIE SYNDROME? Let's find out. Do you recognize yourself in any of these situations? 1. Christmas is just around the corner! Which of these is most likely one of your special memories? a. Putting reindeer antlers on the dog.and posting it on Facebook. b. Capturing the excitement of the children's faces as they open gifts on your cell.and texting them to Grandma and Grandpa. c. Throwing your husband's laptop out the window so you both can "sleep in heavenly peace." 2. In the good old summertime, where are you most likely to be found? a. Hiking or biking with your kids through a local park, each of you blocking the sounds of nature with earbuds blasting your own personal sound track. b. Avoiding the pool like the plague, worried about the world catching sight of you in a bathing suit. c. Packing a picnic hamper.while posting delectable snapshots on Pinterest. 3. It's your anniversary! Your husband presents you with the ultimate gift: a week away on a remote island, just the two of you. What's the first thought that pops into your head? a. What'll we do with the kids? b. Does that cute little swimsuit I haven't worn for three years still fit? c. Do they have wi-fi? Do any of these scenes sound remotely familiar? Most of us don't think of ourselves as selfie- or self-obsessed, but if you're honest in answering the above questions, you'll probably realize, as I did, that we have all caught the selfie syndrome to some extent. OK, so taking festive photos of Fido and your family and posting them faster than you can say, "Pass the hot chocolate," is not necessarily a sign that you've gone completely overboard in the selfie craze category. But my hope is that the questions will help you stop to think the next time you're about to pick up that cell phone. Is it really necessary to tell the whole world what we're doing at any given moment? "IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU" VS. WALKING HUMBLY WITH GOD St. Teresa of Avila (my namesake!) used to teach that the best way to root out a deeply entrenched vice is to practice the corresponding virtue. It's a good idea to take our cues from the saints in Scripture and tradition, and to learn from their lives and writings as we make our way in the Christian life. When you think about it, the word ego could be an acronym that stands for "Easing God Out." That's exactly what self-centered...