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"For all animal lovers ... Few books ... approach the combination of fine writing, radical honesty, and endless optimism found [in these] veterinary tales." (Booklist, starred review)
With insight and humor, Dr. Philipp Schott shares tales from the unlikely path he took into his career as a veterinarian and anecdotes from his successful small-animal clinic. Dr. Schott brings to his writing the benefit of many years of expertise. Wisdom he imparts on readers includes the best way to give your cat a pill, how to prevent your very handy dog from opening a fridge, and how to handle your fish when it has half-swallowed another.
Through these and other experiences, Dr. Schott also learned that veterinary medicine is as much, if not more, about the people as it is the animals. And he will have you laughing and crying as you embark on this journey of discovery with him. "Filled with heartwarming stories any animal lover will enjoy. It's informative and entertaining, much like our pets themselves!" ― eresa Rhyne, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller The Dog Lived (and So Will I)
"Who amongst us animal lovers hasn't fantasized being a vet? Well, read Philipp Schott's highly entertaining and informative book and learn exactly what you'd be in for―all the poignancy, hilarity, and plain hard work. You may decide to keep your day job, but you'll be a much better animal companion for having picked up the many insider tips Schott imparts." ―Barbara Gowdy, award-winning author of The White Bone and Helpless
Preface
Part 1: The Making of a Veterinarian
Bobo The Christmas Gerbil
The Accidental Veterinarian
Mook
Making the Call
Hogwarts on the South Saskatchewan
So You Want To Be a Veterinarian?
Part 2: The Art of Veterinary Medicine
A Mile Wide
The Naming
Mismatch
Supersonic Octopus
An Open Letter to the Client in the Park Whose Name I Forgot
Please Repeat That in English
Why Hasn't the Doctor Called Me Back Yet?
The Lonesome Zebra
Be Kind To Your Veterinarian
The Ugly
All the Crazy People
The Anatomy of a Vet Bill
Taboo
At the Very Heart of It All
Cats & Dogs & Paranoia
In the Dark
Black Coat
When Darkness Overwhelms
Chomp, Chomp
Part 3: The Science of Veterinary Medicine
The Known Unknown Unknowns
The Purr
The Wild Arctic Chihuahua
The Nature of Nature
The Stoic and the Cassandra
Pilling the Cat
The Firehose and the Pudding
Rainbow of Poo
Begins With the Letter 'A'
Yellow
Bread and Ears
Cough, Hack, Wheeze
That Distemperment Shot
Spay Day
Getting Tutored
Take the Parka Challenge
The Cats Who Might Be Canaries
The C Word
Making the Decision
Do They Know It's Christmas?
Cat Goes Mad
When The Sky Goes Boom
Elwood Regrets Nothing
The Ineffable Weirdness Of Dentistry
Feeling Ticklish?
The Ballad of the Prairie Flea
There Are Worms in My Heart
A Dog's Mind
Part 4: Peculiar Tales from Veterinary Practice
Consider the Ostrich
The Smallest Heart
Spunky Swings Low
Fish of Death
Really? Anywhere?
Finnegan vs. The Pot Roast
"Nasty Big Pointy Teeth"
Petty Chew
What The Seeing Eye Dog Saw
Leroy and the Sombrero
Things I Am Terrible At
Edward's Really Bad Day
Sniff the Teddy
He Ate What?!?
About a Duck
Epilogue
Haiku for My Dog
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