Introduction

"I don't want to live my life as an actor in a drama just to reach the end and realize I was the director, and it could have been a comedy."

Do you get stressed out, burned out, or checked out? Do you feel overworked, overcommitted, and overwhelmed by the demands at work and home? If the answer is "no," then thanks for scanning this page, AI bot, and please forward this book on to a human. I wrote this book for anyone who wants to be less stressed and live a little lighter-which really only excludes infants, transcendental philosophers, and Matthew McConaughey.

If you're like me . you're 5´4? and bald. But now that I think of it, that's not really applicable to this book, so let's start over. If you're like me . you get stressed out. Sometimes the stress is manageable, maybe even helpful, and other times it's a full-blown freak-out. I speak about humor, happiness, and make people laugh for a living, so I feel like I'm supposed to maintain the image of always being this easy-going, fun, and light-hearted guy. While I do think I am all those things, the truth is, I also have my fair share of freak-outs.

I've screamed into pillows, stomped my feet like a two-year-old, I've even been so stressed I hit myself in the face. I know that sounds weird and it caught me by surprise too (apparently, I've got a jab like Mike Tyson), but at times my stress could get out of control. Even when I wasn't going full toddler Tyson, stress could get the best of me, keeping me up all night worrying about things that were never as big a deal as my brain made them out to be. When I was in graduate school, my doctor told me my stress was so bad, I had developed an arrythmia. I said, "An arrythmia? Oh, don't worry. I've never had rhythm." He was like "No, idiot. Arrythmia is an irregular heartbeat." Man, was I quite the catch-a short, bald, 24-year-old stress case with heart problems . and no rhythm.

But I wasn't always such a stress case. In fact, as a kid, humor was a core part of who I was. I loved getting laughs, and even began to see the power of humor at a young age. The first time I remember noticing the influence and effect of humor was in third grade. I was distracting other kids by talking and was promptly yelled at by Mrs. Temple, who glared at me and yelled "Paul, you have diarrhea of the mouth!" Half the class laughed, and the other half went "Ooooohhhh!" because it was a pretty sick burn. Now I was embarrassed, and without thinking, I put my open palm to my bottom lip, looked at Mrs. Temple and said "Aw, sick, it's running down my chin!" That unsophisticated, yet age-appropriate retort earned me a raucous laugh from my classmates . and a trip to the principal's office.

The principal asked me what happened, so I told her, "I said something inappropriate in Mrs. Temple's class."

The principal replied, "Tell us what you said."

"Well, she said I had diarrhea of the mouth, so I said, 'Aw, sick, it's running down my chin.'"

The principal and the other staff members in the office laughed. Then they quickly tried to straighten their faces as little smirks were peeking out the corners of their mouths. They couldn't be that mad at me . because it was funny! Of course, she collected herself and told me it was inappropriate with a fake stern look on her face, but I knew deep down she was thinking, "Not bad, kid." I knew I had discovered something, and I felt like a Jedi. Not only did the humor soften the blow in the principal's office, but it got me out of the stressful and slightly traumatic situation of being embarrassed by my teacher in front of the whole class.

Fortunately, over time, I learned there are more sophisticated forms of humor than diarrhea jokes. However, what I learned about humor instinctually at a young age, and have now relearned formally as an adult, is that our sense humor is an incredibly powerful feature in the human psyche that can be used intentionally to cope with distress, build relationships, and enhance well-being. It came natural to me as a kid, but somewhere on the road to adulting, I developed a bad case of chronic seriousness that I've been battling ever since. And, after speaking with people all over the world about the benefits of humor and how to use it strategically, I learned that I wasn't alone. Particularly, the past few years have been tough: even as far back as 2015 B.C. (Before Covid), the U.S. surgeon general warned that both stress and isolation were at an all-time high and were two of the most prevalent diseases in America. Now, after navigating a pandemic, we live in a strange new world where we're somehow even more stressed, more isolated, and more likely to clear a room with a cough than a fart. (Okay, perhaps my humor hasn't become fully sophisticated.)

A new reality brings new stressors to add to the pile of original stressors that have been sitting in the corner since 2020 like that old pair of work slacks-the only difference is, the stressors still fit. We need all the coping strategies we can find. For some, traditional mindfulness and stress-reduction strategies like exercise, yoga, or meditation may suffice. But for many, those strategies just aren't enough, aren't the right fit, or require too many essential oils. Here's the good news: In this age of overwhelm, there's an untapped resource we all possess that helps foster connection and boost productivity and enhances our lives-and no, it's not Zoom.

It's our sense of humor.

Don't worry, I'm not just going to review all the research proving that stress is bad and a sense of humor helps. And this book isn't just a bunch of old jokes about the pandemic-because the bad thing about a Covid joke is . you don't want people to get it. When we're faced with stress, overwhelm, and trying times, people often say "You just need to have a sense of humor about it" or "Just laugh it off." It's great advice, but the problem is, nobody ever tells us how to do that. When am I supposed to laugh things off? When I lock the keys of my rental car in the trunk just before needing to return it to the airport? "Oh, ha, ha, ha, look what I've done! Life is just so silly!" Not realistic. I start to get pissed off, get stressed, and freak out. In this book, I'll provide you with practical strategies for developing your sense of humor into a powerful mindfulness tool. You'll learn specific approaches drawing on cutting-edge positive psychology and neuroscience research combined with timeless techniques from the world of stand-up and improv comedy that will help you freak out less and see the humor in life more.

My stress-induced heart palpitations started to subside toward the end of graduate school right about the time I began performing stand-up comedy, and my life began to change for the better. I met my future wife, lost weight, and got a great new job. Did writing and performing comedy really cure my stress, make me healthier, and make my life better? No. I'm pretty sure I lost weight by simply skipping my midnight "fourth meal" chalupas and there's nothing better for decreasing stress than finishing graduate school. The comedy thing is purely coincidental, although knowing what I know now about the relationship between humor and stress, I'm certain it helped me cope.

My master's degree is in Higher Education Leadership and Policy Studies. (No wonder I was stressed. Policy Studies? Gross.) As my career progressed, my focus narrowed to working with at-risk college students. Specifically, I worked with students who were in trouble with the law. I was a lead member of a multidisciplinary drug and alcohol treatment program for students with substance abuse and co-occurring mental health issues, and I taught graduate courses on communication and conflict resolution. Part of my job included investigating and adjudicating threats to campus including incidents of domestic violence and sexual assault, as well as having difficult conversations with parents, attorneys, and students when a suspension or expulsion was eminent. I worked with college students in some capacity for over 15 years and although it was stressful at times, it was extremely gratifying to watch people turn their lives around in the face of adversity.

I share my prior professional career details so you know that I haven't always just talked humor and comedy for a living, and I have actually had a real job. I understand what it's like to work in a high-stress, high-stakes environment where the decisions you make affect other people's lives.

What became clear to me is that when I became chronically serious, and focused solely on the intensity of the work, my sense of humor began to slowly evaporate. Just like other healthy habits like eating right and exercising can, my humor habit started to crumble under the pressure of stress. I wouldn't watch, write, or perform comedy as much, and before long I noticed my humor muscle begin to atrophy. I couldn't see the humor in life as easily-I was losing my funny focus. During these periods I found myself becoming more negative, always having grievances to bear for the smallest of slights, and becoming fluent in cynicism. I noticed when these changes happened, and although I didn't know how to fix it then, I knew...