ONE The Untold Story of Gaspar J. Hoodwink and the Second Continental Congress (The founding fathers deal with a pompous delegate from New York) Act One, Scene One [The setting is the Pennsylvania State House in June, 1776. Delegates from the 13 American colonies have gathered to discuss the war with Great Britain that has been raging for over a year. Prior to President John Hancock opening deliberations, a group of delegates comprised of John Adams of Massachusetts, Thomas Jefferson of Virginia, Benjamin Franklin of Pennsylvania, Roger Sherman of Connecticut and Richard Henry Lee of Virginia are seen engaged in a lively discussion on one side of the room.] (Adams) "I trust all of you are familiar with Mr. Paine's pamphlet." (Jefferson) "Indeed, his arguments are wise and well taken." (Sherman) "It's widely distributed and has stirred great sentiment against the crown." (Lee) "A worthy title as well. His positions make common sense." (Franklin) "He's struck a match to dry leaves in a rain-poor forest." (Adams) "A conflagration to follow is what you foresee?" (Lee) "Isn't that what we're here for?" (Jefferson) "Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves, gentlemen." (Sherman) "Indeed, despite the conflict we remain subjects of the crown, albeit disloyal!" (Franklin) "The king has no hose long enough to quench this rebellious fire." (Sherman) "You see no outcome other than independence, Mr. Franklin?" (Lee) "You will soon learn that my instruction is to make formal such a proposition." (Adams) "How interesting! But what word from the battleground suggests success?" (Jefferson) "General Washington is doing well for the little support we've offered." (Adams) "That must be remedied forthwith. As a leader of men he's like none other." A man of wide girth is seen approaching the group (Jefferson) "Hold your talk, gentleman, the other would-be general is upon us." Enter Gaspar J. Hoodwink of New York into the gathered circle, wiping his brow (Hoodwink) "Hot enough for you fellows? Philadelphia in June! What a great idea." (Jefferson) "Would you prefer, Mr. Hoodwink, to be at arms with General Washington?" (Hoodwink) "Not me with General Washington, but General Washington with me!" (Adams) "Ah, yes, Hoodwink. You sought the command in a plea to the Congress." (Hoodwink) "I did indeed, sir. But for my ailment I'd be upon a steed waving my sword." Hoodwink demonstrates by waving a fat arm in the air exposing a sweat-stained armpit (Sherman) "Bone spurs as I recall." (Hoodwink) "I denote a tone of derision in your voice; they are nothing to trifle with." (Franklin) "Your boot spurs would irritate your bone spurs was what you claimed." (Hoodwink) "Bad luck for me as a warrior; but far greater misfortune for the rebellion." (Sherman) "We'll just have to make do with General Washington, won't we now?" (Hoodwink) "New York, my beautiful city, has been burned. What say you to that?" (Adams) "All has not gone well. But, we're gathered here to approve reinforcements." (Hoodwink) "They'd better come soon. The General has fled across the river." (Sherman) "A strategic move it was; and well executed." (Hoodwink) "No movement backwards is well executed in my view of things." (Sherman) "You disapprove of the decision?" (Hoodwink) "On further consideration of who's in charge, it was a good decision." (Sherman) "And but for bone spurs the British would be in full retreat?" (Hoodwink) "We could well be sipping tea on my island and not suffocating here." (Jefferson) "A timely interruption is it not, gentlemen? Hancock summons us." Act One, Scene Two [The setting is the same room but the Congress has been called into session.] (Hancock) "The honorable delegate from Virginia has requested the floor." (Lee) "Thank you, my esteemed colleague from Massachusetts." (Hancock) "Tell us, Mr. Lee, what instruction have you been given." (Lee) "I'll be to the point. We must declare our independence!" Rumblings are heard throughout the room as the men react (Hancock) "Order.order. Why such a proposition at this time Mr. Lee?" (Lee) "We should not engage in civil war with our king, but be rid of the yoke." (Franklin) "A fine analogy! The yoke weighs heavy on one yearning to be free." (Jefferson) "Independence. Dare we declare? It does have a sweet sound to it." (Hoodwink) "Bittersweet you mean? We'd be unfed chicks in a motherless nest." (Franklin) "Your suggestion is that the king provides nourishment to his colonies?" (Hoodwink) "I have great respect for King George. I know him well." Jefferson aside to fellow Virginia delegate Lee (Jefferson) "His dealings have to do with property protected by the crown. He has much to lose." (Lee) "Does he belong here? (Sounding alarmed) Is he a loyalist?" (Jefferson) "He holds no loyalties but unto himself." (Lee) "Does he know the king as he says he does?" (Jefferson) "He has traveled to England several times to expand his own little empire." (Lee) "What empire is that?" (Jefferson) "We are plantation owners from rural parts; Hoodwink erects buildings in cities." (Lee) "That explains his dismay at the burning of New York?" (Jefferson) "I suspect his holdings were known by the torch bearers and spared." (Lee) "Is he a threat to the cause?" (Jefferson) "Only men of principle are a threat to our cause. Hoodwink is unprincipled." (Lee) "Enough. Hancock has taken notice of our private discourse." Act One, Scene Three [The same setting a few weeks later. The debate that ran on since Mr. Lee's motion has finally ended with the delegates voting to declare independence from Great Britain.] (Hancock) "Nothing like a good debate among men of varied persuasions, I do say!" (Adams) "Finally, all the colonies of one mind as to what must be done." (Franklin) "Even the wolves slept peaceably with the sheep during Noah's flood." (Sherman) "We think we're aligned in mind, but until the declaration is worded." (Hancock) "That is indeed the next step. I am proposing a committee be formed." (Hoodwink) "Have you ever heard the saying that God so loved the world." (Hancock) ".He didn't send a committee. Yes, the trite saying is indeed familiar." (Hoodwink) "But you choose to ignore it?" (Hancock, valiantly suppressing exasperation) "There will be one main scribe." (Hoodwink) "Excellent. I volunteer! Shall I and my quill be excused to my quarters?" (Sherman) "Perhaps, General, your services are more suited to the war.as advisor." (Adams) "Or as overseer of buildings to properly house our troops in winter quarters." (Lee) "Or employing your negotiating skills to gain support from sympathetic France." Franklin aside to Jefferson (Franklin) "Or as inspector general of the brothels where the war is waged. He's a womanizer, not?" (Jefferson) "'Tis well known that he's fond of groping the fairer sex. Claims they love it!" (Franklin) "Likely bedecks himself in military raiment and wags his mighty sword before them." (Jefferson, laughing silently) "More like a stubby dagger I would surmise!" (Hancock, interrupting) "Gentlemen, one conversation please, attended by all." (Jefferson) "Excuse the distraction. We were discussing Hoodwink's manifest talents." (Hancock) "As are yours, Mr. Jefferson. I ask of you to draft the important document." (Jefferson) "Are others not more qualified?" (Hoodwink) "Indeed!" (Hancock)...
