OUT OF HIS ORBIT
Table of Contents In order to emphasise the moral of a tale, it is safer to state it at the very beginning. The moral of the story of Rosenstein is this: Woe be to the man who attempts to teach his wife a lesson! Woe be to him if he fail! Woe be to him if he succeed! Whatever happens, woe be to him! In witness whereof this tale is offered.
Mrs. Rosenstein wanted one room papered in red, and Mr. Rosenstein held that the yellow paper that adorned the walls was good enough for another year.
"But," argued his wife, "we have laid by a little money in the past years, and we can easily afford it. And I love red paper on the walls." Rosenstein, by the way, owned a dozen tenement houses, had no children, and led a life of strict economy on perhaps one-fiftieth of his income. Besides, Rosenstein owned a lucrative little dry-goods store that brought in more money. And he had never smoked and had never drunk. But the more his wife insisted upon the red paper the more stubborn he became in his opposition, until, one morning after a heated discussion in which he had failed disastrously to bring forth any reasonable argument to support his side of the case, he suddenly and viciously yielded.
"Very well," he said, putting on his hat and starting for the door; "get your red paper. Have your own way. But from this moment forth I become a drinker."
Mrs. Rosenstein turned pale. "Husband! Husband!" she cried entreatingly, turning toward him with clasped hands. But Rosenstein, without another word, strode out of the room and slammed the door behind him. Mrs. Rosenstein sank into a chair, appalled. The pride of her life had been that her husband had never touched liquor, and the one disquieting thought that from time to time came to worry her was that some day he might fall. And she felt that the first fall would mark the beginning of ruin. She had known men whose habits of drink had undermined their business capacity. Her husband, she knew, was close, and had a mania for accumulating money. But once the demon of drink entered into his life she felt that all this would change. He would become a spendthrift. He would squander all that he had saved. They would be homeless-perhaps they would starve. And he was about to take the first step. Her heart was almost broken. To follow him she knew would be worse than useless. He was stubborn-she had learned that-and there was nothing for her to do but to accept the inevitable.
Rosenstein meanwhile walked to the nearest saloon. He had passed the place a thousand times, but had never entered before. The bartender's eyes opened in mild surprise to see so patriarchal a figure standing in front of the bar glaring at him so determinedly.
"Give me a drink!" demanded Rosenstein.
"What kind of a drink do you want?" asked the bartender.
Rosenstein looked bewildered. He did not know one drink from another. He looked at the row of bottles behind the counter, and then his face lit up.
"That bottle over there-the big black one."
It was Benedictine. The bartender poured some of it into a tiny liqueur glass, but Rosenstein frowned.
"I want a drink, I said, not a drop. Fill me a big glass."
The wise bartender does not dispute with his patrons as long as they have the means of paying for what they order. Without a word he filled a small goblet with the thick cordial, and Rosenstein, without a word, gulped it down. The bartender watched him in open-mouthed amazement, charged him for four drinks, and then, as Rosenstein walked haughtily out of the place, murmured to himself: "Well, I'll be hanged!"
Rosenstein walked aimlessly but joyfully down the street, bowing to right and to left at the many people who smiled upon him in so friendly a fashion. When he came to the corner he was surprised to see that the whole character of the street had changed over night. Then it seemed to him that a regiment of soldiers came marching up, each man holding out a flowing bowl to him, that he fell into line and joined the march, and that they all found themselves in a brilliant, dazzling glare of several hundred suns. Then they shot him from the mouth of a cannon, and when he regained consciousness he recognised the features of Mrs. Rosenstein and felt the grateful coolness of the wet towels she was tenderly laying upon his fevered head. It was nearly midnight.
Rosenstein groaned in anguish.
"What has happened?" he asked.
"You have been a drinker," his wife replied, "but it is all over now. Take a nice long sleep and we will never speak of it again. And the yellow paper will do for another year."
Rosenstein watched the flaming pinwheels and skyrockets that were shooting before his vision for a while; then a horrible idea came to him.
"See how much money I have in my pockets," he said. His wife counted it.
"One dollar and forty cents," she said. A sigh of relief rose from Rosenstein's lips.
"It's all right, then. I only had two dollars when I went out." Then he fell peacefully asleep. The next morning he faced his wife and pointed out to her the awful lesson he had taught her.
"You now see what your stubbornness can drive me to," he said. "I have squandered sixty cents and lost a whole day's work in the store merely to convince you that it is all nonsense to put red paper on the walls." But his wife was clinging to him and crying and vowing that she would never again insist upon anything that would add to their expenses. And then they kissed and made up, and Rosenstein went to his store, somewhat weak in the legs and somewhat dizzy, and with a queer feeling in his head, but elated that he had won a complete mastery over his stubborn spouse so cheaply.
The store was closed.
Rosenstein gazed blankly at the barred door and windows. It was the bookkeeper's duty to arrive at eight o'clock and open the store. It was now nine o'clock. Where was the bookkeeper? And where were the three saleswomen? And the office-boy? As quickly as he could, Rosenstein walked to the bookkeeper's house. He found that young man dressing himself and whistling cheerfully. The bookkeeper looked amazed when he beheld his employer.
"What is the meaning of this?" demanded Rosenstein. "Why are you not at the store? Where are the keys?"
The young man's face fell. He looked at Rosenstein curiously. Then, "Were you only joking?" he asked.
"Joking?" repeated Rosenstein, more amazed than ever. "Me? How? When? Are you crazy?"
"You told us all yesterday to close the store and go and have a good time, and that we needn't come back for a week."
Rosenstein steadied himself against the door. He tried to speak, but something was choking him. Finally, pointing to his breast, he managed to gasp faintly:
"Me?"
The clerk nodded.
"And what else did I do?" asked Rosenstein, timidly.
"You gave us each five dollars and-and asked us to sing something and-what is it, Mr. Rosenstein. Are you ill?"
"Go-go!" gasped Rosenstein. "Get everybody and open the store again. Quickly. And tell them all not to speak of what happened yesterday. They-they-can-they can (gulp) keep the money. But the store must be opened and nobody must tell."
He staggered out into the street. A policeman saw him clutching a lamp-post to steady himself.
"Are you sick, Mr. Rosenstein?" he asked. "You look pale. Can't I get you a drink?"
Rosenstein recoiled in horror. "I am not a drinker!" he cried. Then he walked off, his head in a whirl, his heart sick with a sudden dread. He took a long walk, and when he felt that he had regained control of himself he returned to the store. It was open, and everything was going on as usual. And there was a man-a stranger-waiting for him. When he beheld Rosenstein the stranger's face lit up.
"Good-morning!" he cried, cheerfully. "Sorry to trouble you so early, but this is rent day, and I need the money."
Rosenstein turned pale. The saleswomen had turned their heads away with a discretion that was painfully apparent. Rosenstein's eyes blinked rapidly several times. Then he said, huskily, "What money?"
The stranger looked at him in surprise.
"Don't you remember this?" he asked, holding out a card. Rosenstein looked at him.
"Yes, this is my card. But what of it?"
"Look on the other side." Rosenstein looked. Staring him in the face was: "I owe Mister Casey thirty-six dollars. I. Rosenstein." The writing was undeniably his. And suddenly there came to him a dim, distant, dreamlike recollection of standing upon a mountain-top with a band of music playing around him and a Mr. Casey handing him some money.
"I thought that was an old dream," he muttered to himself. Then, turning to the stranger, he asked, "Who are you?"
"Me?" said the stranger, in surprise; "why, I'm Casey-T. Casey, of Casey's café. You told me to come as soon as I needed the--"
"Hush!" cried Rosenstein. "Never mind any more." He opened a safe, took out the money, and paid Mr. Casey. When the latter had gone Rosenstein called the bookkeeper aside, and, in a fearful tone, whispered in his ear:
"Ach! I am so glad when I think that I didn't, open the safe yesterday." The bookkeeper looked at him in surprise.
"You tried, sir," he said. "Don't you remember when you said, 'The numbers won't stand still,' and asked me if I couldn't open it? And I told you I didn't know the combination?"
Rosenstein gazed upon him in horror. The room became close. He went out and stood in the...
