Chapter 1

Getting to Know You

IN THIS CHAPTER

Starting off on the right foot with a greeting

Introducing yourself and others

Being polite

Using the right subject pronouns

Bonjour ! (Hello!) and welcome to the most important chapter in this book and in your entire French language journey. Knowing how to greet people in French is more than just understanding that bonjour means hello; in fact, this simple word is vital to making sure that all of your interactions start off on the right foot.

In addition to sharing the different French greetings, I explain how to introduce yourself and others, offer tips on being polite, and describe the differences between subject pronouns.

French Greetings

As a kid, you might have been told that please is the magic word, but in French, it's definitely bonjour (hello) or an equivalent greeting (depending on the time of day and your relationship to the person you're talking to). In this section I cover the three primary French greetings that you need to be familiar with.

Hello

In English, it's perfectly normal not to say "hello" in some situations. For example, when approaching a stranger for directions, English speakers are likely to say "excuse me" rather than "hello." In France, however, not using a greeting like Bonjour (Hello) to start a conversation is considered very rude. Any conversation - even a short one - simply can't begin without bonjour or another greeting. In a situation where you need to start with Excusez-moi (Excuse me), it's important to then add a greeting before anything else or you run the risk of being ignored or given a frosty look followed by a pointed, "Bonjour" in return.

Appropriate French greetings include

• bonjour (hello): The greeting commonly used in the morning and afternoon, with anyone and everyone. The French language spoken in France doesn't have specific terms for good morning or good afternoon - bonjour is used for all of these. In comparison, Canadian French does have a different term for good morning: bon matin.
• bonsoir (good evening): As opposed to bonjour, which means hello, good morning, and good afternoon, bonsoir means good evening. I can't give you a definite time when you should switch from bonjour to bonsoir, but a good rule of thumb is either 6 p.m. or when the sun starts to set, whichever is earlier. You can also take cues from the people around you. If you're in a room full of people all saying bonsoir to each other at 3 p.m., you can either be a rebel with bonjour or just go with the flow and say bonsoir.
• salut (hi): Informal - you can and should use salut only with friends, family, and kids, at any time of day.

Mind your manners! Decide which greeting is most appropriate with each person at the time given.

Q. Your cousin at 11 a.m.: _________________

A. Salut (Hi)

1 The mail carrier at 8 a.m.: _________________

2 A friend at 3 p.m.: _________________

3 Your boss at 9 a.m.: _________________

4 Your brand-new neighbor at 7 p.m.: _________________

5 A waitress at 12:30 p.m.: _________________

6 Your preschooler son's friend at 8 p.m.: _________________

7 Your daughter at 1 p.m.: _________________

8 A cashier at 6 p.m.: _________________

9 Your spouse at 10 p.m.: _________________

10 The plumber at 10 a.m.: _________________

How are you?

Many English speakers say, "How are you?" to anyone and everyone, even when they don't expect an answer or assume it will be an automatic, "Fine." For the French, it's just the opposite: They ask the question only when they expect and care about the response. If you casually ask a French cashier or bank teller how they are, for example, you're likely to get a puzzled look in return.

Comment allez-vous ? means How are you? and is formal and/or plural, meaning you should use it when talking to either

• A person with whom you use respectful language
• More than one person

When talking to just one person with whom you use tu (see the section "Tu or vous: The second person," later in this chapter), you can use any of these more informal versions to ask How are you?

• Comment vas-tu ?
• Comment tu vas ?
• Comment ça va ?
• Ça va ?

All of these questions mean basically the same thing - How are you? - but grammatically, they're a bit different.

To answer any of the questions that begin with Comment, you can give a real response, such as Super, bien sûr, je suis à Paris ! (Great, of course, I'm in Paris!), or you can say something non-committal, such as Bien (Fine) or Très bien (Very good). In addition, you can answer with Ça va (Fine).

In contrast, Ça va ? literally means Is it going (well)? So, in addition to any of the responses just mentioned, you can answer with a simple Oui (Yes) or Non (No).

You can also use Ça va ? when addressing more than one person with whom you use tu, such as your children or a group of friends.

You absolutely could have a conversation in French that consists of just two words repeated as questions and answers:

• - Ça va ? (How's it going?)
• - Ça va, ça va. Ça va ? (Fine, fine. How's it going?)
• - Ça va. (Fine.)

However, you're more likely to have a few extra words thrown in:

• - Ça va ? (How's it going?)
• - Ça va, merci. Et toi, ca va ? (Fine, thanks. And you, is it going well?)
• - Oui, ça va bien. (Yes, fine.)

Do you want to know how I am? Decide whether you should use Ça va ? with each of these people and circle your answer.

Q. A banker Yes No

A. No

11 Your daughter Yes No

12 Your new neighbors Yes No

13 A waitress Yes No

14 Your brother Yes No

15 A group of friends Yes No

16 A cashier Yes No

Won't you tell me your name?

When meeting someone for the first time, in addition to saying Bonjour (Hello), the two parties need to exchange names, or at least have someone else do it for them.

You can ask someone's name by saying either Comment vous appelez-vous ? or Comment t'appelles-tu ? (What is your name?). Your choice here depends on whether you're talking

• Formally or to more than one person. (Comment vous appelez-vous ?)
• To one person with whom you'll use tu. (Comment t'appelles-tu ?)

You may be tempted to think that you should always say Comment vous appelez-vous ? - after all, by definition, you're talking to someone you don't know, so vous would seem to make sense. But that's not the only criterion for using vous. See the section "Tu or vous: The second person," later in this chapter, for the full explanation.

You can answer the question What is your name? with any of the next four phrases. With the first two responses, you can provide your first name or your full name:

• Je m'appelle . (My name is .)
• Je suis . (I am .)

These next two phrases are more limited:

• Mon nom est . (My name is .): Can only be used when you give your full name
• Mon prénom est . (My first name is .): Can precede only your first name

You can introduce someone else with the following phrases (which both mean I'd like to introduce you to .):

• Je vous présente .
• Je te présente .

You can also say

• Il s'appelle . (His name is .)
• Elle s'appelle . (Her name is .)
• In an informal situation, simply Voici . (This is .).

If necessary, you can include a title in front of the name:

• Monsieur/M....