This book's title, The 7 Fatal Mistakes Divorced and Separated Parents Make, does not reflect an optimistic outlook. Honestly, deep in my heart I am an optimist, and I want to start this book on that note. The truth is, if you really take into account what this book says, there is so much hope for you and your children. If you choose to, you will be able to live into the reality of the subtitle, "Strategies for Raising Healthy Children of Divorce and Conflict." To this end, I begin this book with hope. When we have hope, all things are possible. Divorce is incredibly challenging because we feel we are losing control and there are so many unknowns. So many thoughts go through our minds, "Will our children love us? Will we make it financially? Will we ever find another partner?" Life can seem futile and like there is no hope. I want to reassure you that you are in control of two very key aspects of your and your child's future. The two areas you do have major influence and control over are:
1. Your child's future-their relationships, self-esteem and happiness
2. Your relationship with your child
The choices you make right now and into the next days, months and years will lay the foundation for the two outcomes above. Even if you are well along into your divorce, you can still impact the above two items. I guarantee you that even 15 years after their divorce, my parents sometimes still impact our relationship negatively or positively by their behavior; positive changes in their behavior can still positively impact our relationship. As a life coach, I ask you to commit to this time right now. I ask you to make a commitment to your and your child's lives. You may never know the exact effect that these changes in your behavior will have. However, I can guarantee that by taking the time to complete the exercises and answer the questions thoughtfully and honestly, you will in some measure impact the following:
¿ Your child's ability to have more successful relationships with their peers.
¿ Your child's ability to live easier and in more peace.
¿ Your child's ability to feel more safe and secure.
¿ Your child's ability to secure more easily a wonderful partner for themselves if they choose this.
¿ Your ability to have a more loving relationship with your child.
Is it worth it? I ask you now to make a choice.
Shannon Rios reviewed 50 other books to write this book and has worked with 1000s of families over the last 12 years. She teaches the state mandated course "Coparenting After Divorce" for three counties in Colorado and previously taught in MN. In the book, Shannon shares many stories and insights from her own experience growing up in a family of conflict.
