Acknowledgments

In early 2021, Julia Davies, an editor with Polity Press, reached out to me to ask if I would be interested in expanding my previous work on the history of the pelvic exam (a chapter in Bodies of Knowledge) into a full-length book as part of Polity's new series on the history of health and illness. I was initially reluctant, because I was in the midst of working on a completely different book (on the history of psychedelics). But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I wasn't done with pelvic exams. The landscape had changed a lot since my 2010 book and, as more and more horror stories emerged about contemporary gynecological abuse (Larry Nassar, Nikita Levy, George Tyndall, and Robert Hadden, to name a few), it became clear that a more comprehensive narrative on the history of the pelvic exam was called for. Thank you, Julia, for giving me this opportunity.

This has been an enormously rewarding journey, in part because of the opportunities it has opened. I am passionate about facilitating dialogue between medical practitioners and historians, so that we can all help to create change when it's sorely needed. I want to thank the medical students, residents, and ob/gyn and nursing faculty at the University of Virginia and at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University for their engagement during my lectures on the history of the pelvic exam as I worked on this book. One Northwestern student was struck at the timing of hearing my lecture; noting it was "at an interesting point in my medical education." This student had initially been terrified at doing a physical exam and the power it wielded, noting that "it meant having to touch someone's body under the assumption that you're doing so to further their care." However, after six months of "desensitization" through rounds of practice in clinical sessions, the "fear and mystique had worn off." Learning about the pelvic exam's "fascinating history" made the student realize "how tenuous the physical exam is as a contract between the patient and the physician." During an exam, the student now realized, "I should be wary of what each action means to the patient, and that my understanding of each action may be different from how they understand it, either from history or personal experience." Such awareness requires sensitivity; not desensitization. "I feel like there's something valuable in fully feeling my fear for the physical exam and not getting too comfortable too quickly." Another student found a solution to today's pelvic exam problems by linking it to the history I'd provided. "Giving power to patients seems to be at the core of improving physician-patient relationships and patient outcomes in gynecology, as it was founded precisely on patients' absence of power." This student embraced the connections between past and present in order to create change - my dream come true. The additional comments, questions, and gestures from students and faculty that morning affirmed that active learning and reflection were lighting up the room.

Once I embarked on this journey, I received enthusiastic support (both financial and emotional). A Huntington Library Short-Term Research Fellowship enabled me to spend one month in the most beautiful place on earth to do research, with access to hundreds of historic gynecological textbooks. Many thanks to those in Southern California who made it so fruitful: Dan Lewis, Joel Klein, Natalia Molina, all at the Huntington; fellow researchers Carla Bittel and Tiffany Wayne; and local academics Dan Horowitz, Helen Horowitz, Karen Halttunen, Charlotte Borst, and Elizabeth Watkins. Mario Molina generously shared some of his personal collection of historic papers and gynecological textbooks, reaching out on a regular basis with more interesting tidbits. A special thank you to Robin Weigert who very generously shared her West Hollywood apartment and company, and to housemates Laura Moss and Brendan O'Brien, who made evenings in WeHo spookier as they shared post-production edits of their now completed award-winning horror film, Birth/Rebirth.

A Repository Research Fellowship from the Indiana University Institute for Advanced Study enabled me to conduct archival research at the Kinsey Institute, where I stumbled upon some of the most disturbing (and enlightening) material on well-known gynecologist Robert Latou Dickinson. Many thanks to Liana Hong Zhou, director of the Kinsey Library, associate director Shawn Wilson, and IAS associate director Suzanne Godby Ingalsbe for their generous assistance. Dr. Sarah Knott ensured I was well fed and offered a terrific listening ear for the project. Purdue University's College of Liberal Arts also offered generous support, including an Enhancing Research in the Humanities and the Arts Grant and several smaller travel grants. Finally, Gabrielle Tiven of the Vagina Collective has been enormously encouraging and supportive of this book project. A special thank you to several curators and archivists who helped guide my research: Brian Fors, curator of the Waring Historical Library at the Medical University of South Carolina, Janet Weaver (curator) and Anna Holland (associate curator) at the Iowa Women's Archives, and Rose Reeve, a volunteer with the Feminist Archive North collection at the University of Leeds. And, though I met her late in the game, I am immensely grateful for the wisdom, vision, and support of Dr. Rana Awdish, whose own journey (captured in her beautiful memoir, In Shock) speaks to the critical need for compassionate care and communication.

This book is filled with personal stories, and it could not have been written without the trust and generosity of many people. Your stories make this a more powerful book: A'Magine, Christine Baze, Ione Bissonnette, Nao Bustamante, Deborah Copaken, Susan Desmarais, Tamika Felder, Noa Fleischacker, Nancy MacKeith, and Hannah Srajer. Thank you also to Denise Adams, Kathy Armstrong, Carol Downer, Karen Ehrlich, Hope Haefner, Dee Hartmann, Hermine Hayes-Klein, Kathy Hodge, Catherine Leclair, Lynn Marguson, Judy Norsigian, Libby Richards, and Alla Vash-Margita. I wish space had allowed for all of your stories, but your insights still heavily influenced the writing of this book.

I have benefited hugely from a supportive network of historians of gender and medicine who have generously shared ideas and sources. Thank you to Jonathan Bell, Carla Bittel, Lizzie Evens, Jeremy Greene, Laura Kelly, Becky Kluchin, Albert Lacson, Beth Linker, Hillary Marland, Kelly O'Donnell, Elizabeth Reis, Susan Reverby, Sarah Rodriguez, Naomi Rogers, Brianna Theobald, Dominique Tobbell, Elizabeth Toon, Madeleine Ware, Katie Watson, and Whitney Wood. Tiffany Wayne has once again produced a terrific index for the fourth time in a row, for which I am enormously grateful.

At Purdue University, I am lucky enough to be surrounded by hugely talented and supportive colleagues and students. I am particularly grateful for the support and encouragement of our department head, Fritz Davis. Thank you also to David Atkinson, Katie Brownell, Will Gray, Kat Maxson-Jones, T. Cole Jones, Jonathan Lande, Yvonne Pitts, and Margaret Tillman, as well as Alex Parker South, our administrative assistant, for assistance with digitizing images used in the book.

In my courses on women and health and women's history, several students have offered insightful questions, comments, and ideas. I especially thank Sophie Mbongo, who assisted me with research on the Nikita Levy case and regularly emailed me with relevant sources. My graduate students have been energetic and enthusiastic in our grad seminars, especially Keri Blair, Caitlin Garcia-Feehan, Cathy Kerton-Johnson, Secret Permenter, and Alicia Venchuk. And I have been blessed with two brilliant Ph.D. students who have helped to shape this project. Andrea Ens spent two years on this project with me, digging up relevant sources, transcribing interviews, meticulously poring over the difficult-to-read Dickinson papers, and reading over my written work. Alicia Venchuk worked on the final edits with me, offering incredibly helpful advice, catching my errors, and reviewing far too many endnotes. Thank you to both of you for your insights and hard work.

Over the past two-and-a-half years, as I worked on this book, I relied on many friends and family members to keep me going. Thank you to my "Sidwell crew" - Kelsey Wirth, Jen Lloyd, Lori Birdsong, Megan Crowley, Deb Colson, and Cinda Moeglein - we started regular Zoom chats during the pandemic and have kept them up ever since. Childhood friends like these last a lifetime. Thanks also to Cassandra Schomer and the whole "Zumba crew" at Parkwest Fitness who got me out the door early most mornings to experience the pure joy that comes with twirling around in a jangly coin hip scarf to (mostly) eighties music. Thank you also to those who keep me laughing, distracting me from some of the more disturbing parts of this research: Cassie Hilleboe, Regina Vaughn, Kate Mascarenhas, Laurie Hermundson, Libby and Grant Richards, Nick Palmer, Mark Schuster, Abhijeet Ahluwalia, Yixuan Sun, Brian Leung, and Brian Yost. Thank you to all of my children in our wonderful blended family: Jemma Mariner, Ben Mariner, Max Paula, and Emily Paula. Thank you for your love and support, as well as your enthusiasm for this project and your investment in women's health. Thank you to Maya, the best dog ever, who spends most of her time by my side as I write. And...