Part I: Bad Ideas. 1
Blow up a beached whale with dynamite.¿ 3
Start a "free-love" cult in Honduras. 9
Start a shooting riot over a Vaudeville actress.¿ 21
Build a high-speed highway on a scenic beach. 27
Move your airplane's wings to see what happens.¿ 33
Build a town on beach sand. 39
Build a riverboat powered by cows 45
Open a Disneyland-type park someplace rainy 51
Replace Timberline Lodge with a skyscraper.¿ 59
Use a city bus as a cable-car gondola 65
Open an amusement park and make it creepy 69
Buy a ten-ton, ill-tempered ex-circus elephant. 75
Let A.C. Edmunds work for your social-justice cause. 81
Try to climb Haystack Rock. 91
Try to win a labor strike with acts of terrorism. 97
Demolish a historic hotel to build a parking lot. 105
Build luxury condos during the Great Depression. 111
Try to force the U.S. Mint to build in your city. 115
Spend millions to make a really bad movie 121
Strip the bride of her U.S. citizenship at the altar. 127
Try to exclude Black people from your new state¿ 133
Sell milk out of the same cans you slop hogs with. 139
Introduce super-flammable invasive plants to your town. 145
Burgle the county treasurer's office looking for treasure. 149
Convict murder suspects on a majority vote. 155
Try to take a skunk pelt with your bare hands. 161
Bring an unexploded bomb home in the glovebox. 167
Trade Celilo Falls for some cheap hydro power. 171
Part II: Horrible People Part One: Shanghaiers. 177
Jim Turk, O.G. shanghaier of old Portland 181
Larry Sullivan, godfather of Oregon shanghaiers 185
"Mysterious" Billy Smith, world champion shanghaier 203
The Jost Brothers, wannabe shanghaiers 213
Shanghaiers of Astoria 219
L.G. Carpenter, shanghaiing lawyer and land thief¿ 223
Bridget Grant, shanghaiing boardinghouse keeper.¿ 229
"Mr. Smith" and his shanghaiing riverboat party. 233
The U.S. Supreme Court in 1897.¿ 239
Portland's Shanghai Tunnels: Are they real?.¿ 247
Part III: More Horrible People 255
Greenberry Smith, homestead-land thief. 257
M. Ryan, gun-fighting pro-slavery college president.¿ 263
W.F. Woodward, vindictive Libary Board member.¿ 269
Maj. Gen. Charles H. Martin, fascist ex-governor. 275
... and 20 more, which cannot be listed for lack of space!