Team Success: Communicating with Difficult Colleagues [6 Checklists & 5 Tips]
// By Simone Janson
Proper communication with colleagues is one of the most important success factors for the career. It all depends on the right mix: you have to work together with others in the team, but at the same time prevail against competitors. Rhetorical skill is the key to success here.
How to get along well with colleagues
Whether you like it or not, you are closely connected with your colleagues.
Mrs B. has always enjoyed working in your company. Lately, however, some new colleagues have joined and suddenly the mood is not so good anymore. Mrs B. does not really know if this is up to her or her colleagues and how she should deal with the new situation.
Praise and praise
Giving each other positive feedback for a well-done job - this can significantly improve the working atmosphere. But beware: Praise also has its pitfalls.
Do not be too suspicious. Take praise first. Of course, sometimes others praise us for wanting to achieve something. But often it is really honest niceness. Do not break yourself and others' enjoyment.
"Ms. Ms. B., where do you always get these great ideas from, I wouldn't think of anything." Ms. S. exclaims enthusiastically after the meeting. Ms. B. is irritated by such exuberant praise. Almost apologetically, she replies: "Oh, that's nothing special!" But you secretly wonder if there is anything behind it. Ms. S. meant it honestly, but noticed the embarrassment of the colleague: In the future you will be more careful with your praise.
Checklist: Unexpected praise - That's how you dealt with it
To accept praise also wants to be learned. This is how you react properly to compliments. Because: Some people are speechless with surprising praise as well as in attacks and talk the compliment then bad. Too bad - it is much nicer to just accept it. Here are some answers:
- Quite simply: "You did a great job!" - "Thank you".
- As a question: "You really came up with a good organization system for our filing system" - "Do you like it !?" Important: Speak the emphasis as a statement and make it clear that you do not expect an answer.
- With humor: "Your new pants suit really suits you!" - "You have a good taste."
- Introductory: "You really have a lot of idea about the topic" - you smile at the others kindly and change the topic: "What is there in the canteen today?" However, make sure that the transition looks humorous and not embarrassed. Use this variant only to accept praise honestly, not to question it ironically (for example: "What exactly do you want to know?"). You would only insult the other.
Many people who have trouble accepting praise can also praise themselves badly. Ms. B., for example, has very high standards - not only for herself. Accordingly, she sees little reason to even apply a praise for others. Positive achievements are easy for them.
Too bad, because recognition is one of the strongest links between people. With her critical attitude, Mrs. B. loses so many sympathies. It would not have to change much, because it's not about singing praises of love always and everywhere. It would help if you only perceived the achievements of others a little more attentively.
Recognition is important
Every jeck is different. If you have high expectations of colleagues: Do not compare them with each other or with yourself. What is natural for one is a challenge for the other, whose mastery deserves real praise.
From time to time, give your colleagues honest applause. Then you get along well with them.
Checklist: To give others real recognition
Praise is for motivation and relationships like fertilizer: Well-dosed it can strengthen, but too generous and handed out in the wrong place it destroys a whole crop. Therefore, keep some rules in mind so that well-intentioned praise does not fail.
- Only praise if you really mean it. Real recognition comes from the gut, it is filled with joy about something - others notice whether it is authentic or not. If you feel the feeling, share it: "I noticed that you really put a lot of effort into it."
- Sometimes non-verbal praise is more convincing than a rant. Smile at your colleagues, hold your thumbs up, tap your shoulder and find your own way of expressing yourself.
- Check Critically: Do you follow an intention with praise? Do you want to disguise criticism? If so, leave it, because it seems implausible. This only disappointed and demotivated others. And, if you expect nothing, you will not be disappointed if there is no response.
- Ironic or arrogant acknowledgments are just as insulting: avoid impatiently "Well please, it can be done!", Or reproachfully "Why not immediately?" to praise. With "You see: you just have to want it to work," assume your colleagues are missing a job and a "Super! Now Mr. F. finally understood it too "exposes your colleagues and reveals your disdain.
- Praise carefully. If you cheer every little thing, your colleagues will get used to it and think that they do not need to make any further efforts. The message has to be: "It is worth staying on the ball. There's more in there! ".
- Praise promptly. The more spontaneous the better. Wrong: "Your behavior at the last fair three weeks ago was really good. Keep it up!" Such praise comes too late and is too general, so it only irritates.
- Don't just say: "Well done", but in as much detail as possible, WHAT you found good: "I noticed your exceptionally good customer support at last week's trade fair. They are friendly and polite, use very positive phrases and find suitable alternatives. You make everyone feel that they are the only important thing for you at the moment! "
- Praise without restriction: "Your presentation was very interesting, but pay a little attention to the spelling next time." By doing so, you destroy the praise. Better: leave the praise isolated. Criticism belongs in another conversation.
- Be fully involved: never give the impression of being rushed or in time trouble, then the praise acts unreal.
Colleagues support - but right!
"I have to do some shopping tonight. Couldn't you, for once, stay in the office for me until eight today? " Ms. B. thinks in exasperation: "Why can't Ms. S. do her shopping like everyone else at the weekend?" However, she says: "Actually not so much, but if it has to be ..."
But: If you actually didn't want to, the colleague is contrite and you are angry! Nobody has any such support: Ms. B. is annoyed until XNUMX:XNUMX am to have said "yes" again, although she really wanted to say "no". And Mrs. S. now has a guilty conscience and the feeling that she is guilty of something. Just as bad are excuses that the other one sees through anyway: "I'm sorry, I would do it, but I already have something to do tonight."
Better: Say "No" politely but firmly - without plasticizers like "actually" or "I think". A good transition is about "No, and I'll tell you why ..." Then give a reason: "No, I won't stay until eight o'clock. It is important to me to finish work. You have to find another solution. " Say clearly and against your uncertainty what you think - then the other person will not come back next time. And both have a good feeling.
Polite, but definitely!
If your colleague is overwhelmed: Your colleague has planned too much? Do not take it from work, but offer help for self-help: Think together, which priorities the individual tasks have and how they should be organized. This is how the colleague learns for the future. Contact an organization expert or recommend literature. But: Do not offer the overburdened person a takeover of his work - better: Help for self-help!
Attention: Of course you should not refuse every request. But make it clear that there is only a very clear "No" or a very clear "Yes". Because if you say "yes", it has to come from the heart. In addition, say: "... I would be happy to do it for you" - then surprisingly you'd prefer to do it because you feel committed to your own words. The best thing is: Clear no, clear yes!
This is how you address unpleasant things
You are angry about a colleague? Mrs. B., for example, is indignant at the faulty presentation with which Mr. W. has badly sold the work of the whole department at the meeting. But how is Mrs. B. supposed to deal with your anger? If she only grudges your anger and silently brings it up, it will not work.
Wrong: Ms. B. would like to avoid an open dispute and says "You probably had a good reason not to prepare the presentation properly. But that's a little annoying. "Mr. W., however, can't do anything with Ms. B.'s quiet criticism. Instead of accepting her, he is annoyed: "Did Ms. B. want to criticize him - or not? What is this remark about? " The next presentation is similar and Ms. B. bursts the collar: "Why do you always have to work so sloppy?" Mr. W. is angry - and from now on it is no longer easy to speak to Ms. B.
So that the trouble does not break out of you at some point!
Better: Speak unpleasant things immediately, directly, friendly and open. Be sure to talk alone with your colleague so as not to put him in front of others. Signal your good intentions. Get to the point immediately, avoid small talk, which is ambiguous, as if you had something to hide:
"Mr. W., I would like to speak to you because I did not like your presentation, which is supposed to represent our joint work. Let me explain exactly what I mean. " If the conflict already exists, you should resolve it.
Interpret body language correctly and...
