PROLOGUE

Traditional workplace and leadership expectations have changed. I'm not talking small changes; I'm talking massive shifts. Massive shifts in mindset, in focus, in expectations and in priorities.

Emotional intelligence (or EI) has become a necessity in workplaces and the commitment to people's wellbeing now sits at the top of many organisations' agendas.

The unexpected and unprecedented changes that we have faced, and continue to face, in the workplace have provided a new lens and have us looking at the work component of our lives in a completely different way.

Ask

Do we live to work, or do we work to live? Or is there a middle ground? What is our true purpose in life and is our definition of how we define 'success' realistic and not just materialistic? So many unanswered questions lurk in our minds, taking up real estate space and making us rethink our relationship with work.

The current state of the workplace

Workplaces have been turned on their heads as they watch their employees go through these changes, reacting in slightly different ways. Some cope better than others; some really struggle. We tend to take for granted the impact that people have on our bottom line, products/services and the customer. But we are quickly reminded that without our people being able to work physically and mentally, there is no workplace. The bottom line, the products/services and the customer become totally irrelevant without the people!

This shift has been evident across the world as we watch people prioritise what is important in life, and for many, it isn't spending endless long hours working.

Resources seem to have become low across every industry as people decide to reduce their hours, switch to something they like or enjoy doing and find the ultimate life balance. It creates confusion and leaves us wondering how we can suddenly be so short staffed or under resourced across every industry even if our workload and head count hasn't changed. But it isn't the number of resources or our workload that are necessarily changing; it is our relationship with work and what we are willing to give that are changing. How many hours and how much focus are people now willing to dedicate to work? For many people, this number has decreased dramatically.

It had become such standard and accepted practice in the past that we work 10- to 12-hour days and sometimes without any breaks. While this is not always quality work or healthy for us, it's what many of us did and had accepted as the norm of work. In some instances, being forced to take downtime and spend more time at home increased the value of life outside of work, reminding us how it felt to let go of some of that stress and refocus on the parts of our life that are important. Once people start to get a taste of it, they want more of this balance and more time to focus on the important things. With this we see decreased working hours and some people simply reverting to the standard hours of seven- to eight-hour days. The fact that we built our workforce requirements on people working much longer hours than they were being paid or contracted to do, is our downfall.

For some industries, downtime wasn't an option, and the changes and intensity are increasing due to resource shortages or increased needs from the community. Those 10- to 12-hour days are becoming even longer and it feels like the impossible is upon us without any sign of relief in the near future. This is like the straw that broke the camel's back and for some people, it is enough to quit their job, their industry and their relentless dedication to work. Some people just aren't willing to give this much of themselves to work any longer. They don't want the stress or the responsibilities.

There is a definite shift in personal priorities. People are more comfortable in themselves, and we are encouraging each other to be real, to feel and speak up in the workplace like anywhere else in our lives. It's not just 'do what I say and not what I do'. It's 'speak up and talk about how you are feeling and the role that work plays in your life'.

Employees have so much more choice. A new job opportunity is around almost every corner now. Expectations are changing and increasing as new generations enter the workforce. The hierarchical difference between the managers and employees is decreasing and the confidence and rights of employees are increasing. Whether this is right or wrong is irrelevant. We are not here to argue what the workplace should look like; we are here to accept that this is what it does look like and as leaders, we must adapt and lead the way.

Leaders have leveraged their known and lived leadership skills to support their team members as much as possible with an increased focus on people leadership. For some team members, this is enough, while for the majority of others it isn't. Leadership is being redefined and a leader without the ability to leverage and build their emotional intelligence finds it very difficult to manage the variety of people, the shifting demands and the different responses to situations.

Ask

Why do these changes impact people differently? Why are the needs and expectations of people so varied?

Leadership never was a blueprint or a template, yet it's becoming even more ad hoc with the need to adapt to every situation and person. As we continue to bring more humanistic approaches into the workforce and encourage people to be authentic and real, the variance will continue to grow. The upside is that performance, engagement and creativity also grow by giving people more ownership and freedom to think. However, they also break the 'cookie mould' approach and we end up with big variations in personalities, attitudes, expectations and emotional responses.

Basic leadership skills are no longer enough. It is going to take every ounce of our emotional intelligence to first understand ourselves, then understand what each of the people around us is going through and how they are wired or what makes them 'tick', before we can even consider what they need from us as leaders. It's challenging even the greatest and most experienced leaders as they take a step back and focus on the fundamental basics of understanding and adapting to the person in front of them. We can reap the benefits of having modern and humanistic workplaces, but not without addressing the new challenges arising from the change.

Difficult conversations are becoming more prevalent due to the changes and level of human interaction. I don't think I've ever met anyone who loves to have a difficult conversation. I'd even say it would have to be one of the most avoided things we do as leaders, resulting in the situation snowballing while we look the other way hoping it will go away. When we do have the difficult conversations, they are poorly executed, lack outcomes and become a defensive battle between the people involved.

This is attracting attention and becoming a priority for managing directors, chief executive officers (CEOs) and pretty much everyone at the high-level running of an organisation that relies on people to achieve results. They recognise that the bottom line and profit, the products and services, and their customers are irrelevant if they haven't got their people right. They want help with the people in their organisation, but also, they want help for themselves and their own leadership skills to lead the team from the top in an environment overflowing with change in priorities, change in operations and change in people when emotions run wild.

This is why the need for EI and the role it plays is now much more present and really is a necessity for all workplaces.

What is emotional intelligence?

Whenever there are human beings involved in any situation, there are also emotions. Every second of every day we are feeling some kind of emotion. Emotional intelligence (EI) is our ability to recognise these emotions, manage the emotions as they play out, and understand the impact they have on the people around us and the outcome of the situation.

From a world-renowned expert in EI, Dr Travis Bradberry's research shows that only 36 per cent of people can accurately identify emotions as they occur. This helps to explain why EI can be a challenging skill to master.

Some people are lucky enough to be born with the natural skill to identify and manage their emotions, but the millions of other people need to learn and work on growing their EI.

EI can be taught. I've taught many people in this field. The key is you must want to learn it. In a workplace with extensive human interaction, it is a 'must' to not only have the awareness of our emotions as they occur, but to also have the skills that are required to manage, process and align the emotions.

EI is not about what we know or what we can do; it's the how and why we do it!

The 'what we know or what we can do' is our IQ. This is our knowledge, education, talent and what we can deliver. The 'how and why we do it' is our EI. How well we interact with others, how we make people feel, how we manage emotions, the effectiveness of our communication and the purpose or 'why' behind what we do.

Neither is more important than the other. Our IQ will only take us so far in life before we require our EI to kick in. Equally, our EI...