FORWARD
This book was written by my father. I am incredibly proud of him for deciding to share with you this story, and I am happy that you are taking the opportunity to read about his experiences. There are several stories my father could have chosen to write. He could have shared his insight on being a father and that, by itself, would have been an insightful journey. When I was a young boy, my mother became gravely ill with double kidney failure and was given a terminal prognosis. My father managed to comfort and support my mom, while at the same time caring for myself and my younger brother, maintaining our home environment, and practicing law as a partner of one of the largest firms in San Antonio at that time. To this day I am not sure how he managed. I suspect there were moments of difficulty and doubt, challenging his strong ethical core and faith in God. Through nothing less than a medical miracle, my mother regained function in her kidneys, and eventually recovered.
As a father of two children, I have tried to emulate my Dad and serve in many roles at a time. I have learned that even though a person can have several titles and responsibilities, we each elect what level of participation and responsibility we accept. My father took each challenge with incredible energy and gusto. Early on, he was my Cub Scout leader, religious school teacher, and basketball coach. He was the artist that decorated my bedroom with pictures of sesame street characters and then later super heroes. He was a mediator between me and my brother and was also the authoritarian, when necessary. Later, he would drive me to camps and to play practices. He was there in middle school when I secured my first acting job as a puppeteer for the city public transportation system. He congratulated me, and I will always remember that moment. I will also always remember the moment just a few months later when I felt my first relationship heart break, and he was there with wisdom and then silence when I needed it. He was my tutor, editor, and spellchecker. He was my idea man and manager.
As I entered my teen years, he was an advisor. My dad would give advice, much of which I did not appreciate at the time it was given. Moreover, I was not hesitant to tell my father that I did not need his advice or that his opinion was not relevant or correct. However, he was still present and active in sharing his opinions. So many years later, I would tell him that he was right more often than not and that I would have had some easier times had I listened to his advice more often. Along the way, he too advised me that he was not perfect and that there were times that his advice was wrong and that he had made mistakes. Humility is probably one of my father's greatest gifts.
There is a defining moment where I can recall the transition from an adult and child relationship with my father to that of two adult men. This relationship is different. However, my admiration and respect for my father is the same. In fact, it may have become deeper with this second act in our combined lives. I chose to go to law school and then to work with my father at his firm. These decisions were independent of his direction, but certainly made with his astute insight and influence. Here is just one more life lesson shared by my father. It is easy to give advice, but it is much more challenging to be supportive. I am a deeply religious person and just as I thank God for the recovery of my mother mentioned above; I believe there was Divine intervention that directed my selection of law, which provided me the opportunity to work daily with my father for over a decade before his retirement. It was through the perspective of a law student and then a practicing attorney that I was reintroduced to my father. I had always known him only in the roles discussed above and perceived him through the tainted glasses of my dad. However, sitting in a Family Law class and reading cases which I had heard discussed informally at my living room table gave me a new and very different understanding of my father. As a young child, I had gone to work with my father on numerous occasions. I carried his briefcase in court and shook hands politely with several Judges, Attorneys, and people of influence. I sat underneath the Municipal Court bench during trials and drew pictures in my father's office. At the time, I was not old enough to comprehend the work being done by my father and the influence he was having on our legal system. This wisdom came afterwards, as client upon client would walk into our office and share their appreciation for the work completed by my father. My father has changed the lives of so many individuals.
My father was a very hard worker and, as mentioned before, was very humble about his accomplishments. I recall a number of awards my father received throughout his legal career. He displayed two very prominently. The first was a school bell award given to him for an outstanding newspaper editorial supporting teachers in the state of Texas. The second was the inaugural award for Pro Bono services granted by the Bankruptcy section of the State Bar of Texas. From a practice comparison, the awards were very different. However, both awards acknowledged the need for community service and commitment to change the world in a way that not all people are willing to do. My father proudly, and often, put himself out on the line, took an unpopular position, and then worked hard to help others.
After my Father's retirement, he has continued to serve as an example and model to me in new and unexpected ways. He is an excellent grandfather. He has altered his physical life, quitting smoking and becoming a lifetime member of Weight Watchers. He has discovered new ways to fill his time and enjoy life and appreciate each day. He still gives great advice, and as I sit here revising this Foreword, I am already thinking about the introduction I will provide him when he comes to speak at my Family Law class at St. Mary's University School of Law next week.
There are still so many things I would like to say about my father and that I would like you to know as you begin this book. They don't fit neatly into any other portion of this introduction, so I will mention them here. My father likes movies and novels. He is a historian. He enjoys trivia and can identify over 100 Scottish plaids. He does not like to travel but puts up with it because it makes my mom happy. He gets frustrated when he gets interrupted but doesn't mind interrupting others when he has something he wants to say. This used to bother me greatly, but I have learned that he has so much he wants to share and to tell people, and the fact of the matter is that he is really good at it.
With everything that I have to say about my father and all of the roles he has played in my life, it is hard to deliver a summary statement, but I am going to try. The reason I love and respect my father so much and the reason you will enjoy this book is because my father is an amazing storyteller.
Being a good storyteller is not a simple task. Many people dedicate their entire lives to perfecting presentations and editing articles in order to attempt to share their lessons and experiences. Some people are blessed with good material to work with. Just like an athlete is born with natural ability, certain strength, or height, a good storyteller will have the natural advantage of pulling from many adventures to fill their narratives. However, an athlete is unable to reach success based solely on physical traits. They must work diligently on perfecting his or her sport, pouring tireless hours into making the difficult look ordinary. Similarly, a storyteller may have interesting experiences or sage advice, but it will not be entertaining if the storyteller does not deliver the information the correct way. A storyteller uses narration to bring the audience into the story and creates a deep and full environment for the story. With well-fleshed characters, both heroes and villains, a storyteller creates syntax, establishes the environment, and hopefully, provides entertainment with the precise combination of wit, irony, and suspense.
As a child my father would spend hours creating narratives, sometimes with the help of my action figures and other toys, and sometimes through his detailed imagery of characters and plots. My Father's stories were always entertaining. They also most often followed a formula that established an important lesson. The main characters would always find themselves with an opportunity for adventure. Early in the story, my father would often ask if the heroes should pursue these quests. I remember one time suggesting that the hero of a particular story should not accept the challenge and not go on an adventure. That was the shortest story my father ever told me, and I learned very early that declining a challenge was an option, but one that led to a short, predictable (and boring) conclusion.
The second part of my Father's stories always involved explanation as to why the hero would select a quest. Oftentimes his stories had people (or mystical animals) who were suffering hardships and difficulties. The story felt familiar, and I recall trying to guess where my Father was borrowing this storyline from. Could it be his interpretation of a science fiction movie where the Rebellion was in need of assistance, or was it him retelling the narrative of children passing through a closet to rescue a strange land enchanted with darkness and despair? Perhaps this was my Father sharing his favorite Holiday story; that of the rescue of the Israelites by a former Egyptian Prince. Much...
