Amy's Guide to Best Behavior in Japan

INTRODUCTION

• Hospitality and Thoughtfulness in Japan
• The Role of the Outsider (You)
• Manners = Gratitude

10 Things You Should Never Do in Japan

10 Things You Should Always Do in Japan

Money

• talking about money
• money envelopes
• tipping
• monetary gifts
• paying the bill at a restaurant
• paying someone for their time or for a favor
• Anecdote/commentary

Bowing & Shaking Hands

• when to bow
• how to bow
• the head-bow
• kowtowing
• bowing while exchanging business cards
• shaking hands while exchanging business cards
• Anecdote/commentary

Conversation

• when to speak
• voice level
• adjusting you speech for non-native speakers
• listening
• good topics
• bad topics (see Taboo Subjects)
• making suggestions
• how to be firm but polite
• asking for help
• expressing interest without creating obligation
• apologizing
• expressing disagreement
• expressing disappointment
• dealing with embarrassing situations and mistakes
• Anecdote/commentary

Taboo Subjects

• burakumin
• yakuza
• suicide
• racism
• gays/lesbians
• foreigners
• money
• about tattoos and piercings
• Anecdote/commentary

Showing Appreciation

• thanking
• gift-giving
• turning thoughtfulness into a habit
• returning favors
• omiyage
• gifts of anticipation
• thanking someone the next time you see them
• Anecdote/commentary

Romance and Flirting

• dating
• holding hands
• visiting someone's house
• dating
• sex
• texting and use of emoji
• Anecdote/commentary

Queuing

• waiting to get into a restaurant
• queuing on the train platform
• middle-aged women who don't que
• giving up your seat on the train to an aged person
• Anecdote/commentary

Eating in Public

• on the train
• eating while walking
• standing while eating
• what to do with your garbage after eating
• foods you shouldn't eat on the train to not cause offense (kimchee
• etc)
• how to put your bento box back together before throwing it away (chopsticks back in sleeve
• uneaten food covered with lid and bound with elastic
• all that put back into plastic bag)
• Anecdote/commentary

Eating in Restaurants

• letting your host order for you
• choosing shareable dishes
• eating leisurely
• chopstick etiquette
• types of food and protocol (nabe
• okonomiyaki
• etc)
• vegetarians
• Anecdote/commentary

Drinking

• in public
• at parties or functions
• ohanami parties
• kompai etiquette
• pouring beer
• refiling others' beer glasses
• wine
• sake
• Anecdote/commentary

Drinking Establishments

• izakaya
• bars
• hostess clubs
• cafes Asking for waiter/waitress
• paying
• tipping
• who pays
• Anecdote/commentary

Shoes

• the genkan
• taking off shoes
• properly taking off shoes
• lining up shoes
• using slippers
• bare feet & tatami mat
• toilet slippers
• outdoor slippers
• using shoe boxes
• Anecdote/commentary

Toilets

• J-style
• Western style
• washlets
• hygiene
• big and small flush
• how to knock on stall door
• the "sound princess," old style pit toilets
• Anecdote/commentary

At the Hotel

• tipping
• how to complain
• dealing with staff
• letting yourself be taken care of
• using the bath and other common facilities
• Anecdote/commentary

On the Subway/Train/Bus

• finding a seat in an unreserved compartment or train
• eating
• sound levels
• use of electronics, headphones, and cell phones
• making conversation (or not) with fellow passengers
• asking for help
• solving ticketing and reservation problems

When You "Take a Meeting" in Japan

• greetings
• basic workplace etiquette
• to bring a gift or not?
• to receive a gift or not?
• who pays for lunch?
• where and when to use your phone
• thank yous at day's end
• how to listen
• how to say no or "I'll think about it"

Bringing Good Manners Home With You

Index