Divorce is brutal, especially for the one left behind, the divorcee. You can expect to experience a wide range of emotions that rock you to your core. Are you immobilized with shock, grief, and depression? Do you feel overwhelmed, intimidated, and frightened? Do you think your life is out of control and you're on a downward spiral? There are ways to navigate these emotional landmines and emerge a stronger, more self-sufficient person. "69 Explosive Divorce Tips" is a collection of sound suggestions to help you master your emotions and survive the divorce intact.
"You're going to be all right." Those words, spoken by her own attorney, gave author Carolyn Fox something to cling to when she was going through her divorce in the 1980s. Later, as an attorney herself specializing in family law, Fox ushered clients through the legal pathways of their divorces. But she noticed that like herself, her clients were experiencing many of the same emotions, and they often followed the classic model of the five stages of grief: denial, depression, fear, anger, and acceptance. But Fox graces us with one additional stage of the emotional process of divorce: hope.
In "69 Explosive Divorce Tips," Fox details how divorcees, particularly those who are on the receiving end of the legal action, move through the six emotional stages. It begins with the four words almost no one wants to hear, "I want a divorce," and moves through attainable tips that can be applied and put into action even when-or especially when-you're at the end of your emotional rope.
These dynamic tips range from the downright practical to the creative, but they'll all help you navigate your emotions without losing your mind, such as:
. Mourn the Loss of Your Expectations
. Don't Think about Your Divorce While Driving
. Do the Thing You Fear
. Scream and Beat Your Pillow
. The Time Has Come-Forgive Yourself
. Always Have Hope!
As an attorney and divorcee who's seen it all, Fox knows that there is also hope on the other side of the divorce process. When you reach the hope stage-and Fox believes you will-you'll emerge a stronger, wiser person. The fires of the divorce process will forge positive personal change. Fox has seen it in her clients and in herself. She'll even help you feel good about dipping a toe in the dating waters.
Working your way from denial to hope is, as Fox says, "not as simple as flipping on a light switch. Wouldn't that be grand? Rather it's like slowly turning the dial on a dimmer, by increments."
Fox notes that those increments are different for every person. She gives you permission to move through this grieving process at your own pace and in your own order. You may get angry before you feel alone, or you may feel like you've been stuck in the denial stage for far too long. No matter how long it takes you or in which order you experience these stages, Fox wants you to know that you do eventually put all this hurt and anger in your past: "You recapture your vitality and self-esteem, and you learn to move forward to the bright future that you deserve."
Fox knows it takes time and effort to emerge a better, not bitter, person on the other side of a divorce, but she also knows you have it in you. She knows because, to her own amazement, she found it in herself. It was after her divorce at age forty that she became an attorney, a motorcycle enthusiast, a licensed pilot, and an author.
"69 Explosive Divorce Tips" offers hope and challenges you to live your life to the fullest. Your new life awaits-what will it be?
