Learning reflection and tolerance in everyday life
Self-reflection is helpful in every situation in everyday life! You should therefore definitely invest in yourself by incorporating certain exercises for self-reflection and for gaining tolerance towards yourself and others into your daily routines; because as the famous investor Warren Buffett said: "You should invest in yourself, that's the only investment that pays off a thousandfold." With these five exercises for your everyday life, you can learn reflection and mindfulness:
- Morning brainstorming: With this exercise, you start the day with positive thoughts. When you wake up in the morning, your first thoughts are usually already running through your head - write them down, regardless of whether or not they seem sensible or purposeful at first. This is a free, associative form of brainstorming. At the end, you will have filled one or more pieces of paper with your thoughts - the so-called morning pages. You will see that by emptying your thoughts in the morning, you can learn a lot about yourself, for example, what occupies you immediately after getting up, i.e. before you are exposed to the stimuli of your environment, your workplace, etc. Establish your morning brainstorming and morning pages as a routine. You usually don't need more than five to ten minutes for this.
- Establish evening rituals: In the evening, you need to process the stimuli of the day mentioned above. Many people start to brood and find it difficult to sort out and process what they have experienced. Here, too, it helps to write down your thoughts, ideally in the form of a diary ("journal"). In particular, highlight the positive aspects of the past day: What went well? What positive experiences did you have? What pleasant social encounters enriched your day? What are you grateful for? etc. Journaling not only stops you from brooding, but also helps you to sort out your thoughts and go to sleep feeling more positive and tidy.
- Meditate: Meditating has been proven to help you relax your body and mind. You can do the exercises both in the morning and in the evening, and if you have the opportunity, you can even do them during short breaks at the office. You can find numerous tutorials and step-by-step instructions on YouTube or similar platforms that will introduce you to meditation. Try it out and you will see that you will soon be more relaxed too. Important: Make sure your surroundings are as quiet as possible. Even if you have small children or live in a busy city, try to withdraw for a short moment for meditation and allow as much peace and quiet as possible.
- Walks: Walks can also have an effect - after all, great thinkers and artists such as Goethe, Schopenhauer and Caspar David Friedrich greatly appreciated walking. The supply of natural light and oxygen stimulates your body, and walking also activates your muscles and musculoskeletal system, which is usually underused, especially by employees in office jobs. Never close your eyes while walking, but consciously take in the world around you, in this mode you experience resonance with your environment (Rosa, 2019) . While walking, let your thoughts wander without worrying and surrender to your impressions. In this way, you can switch off from your everyday life and slow down your body and mind.
- Self-talk: Self-talk can help you to express your emotions. Many people tend to bottle up their negative feelings such as anger, sadness or disappointment, they don't want to talk to anyone about their feelings or don't have anyone around them they want to confide in emotionally. However, the longer you let your feelings go unexpressed, the more they intensify, which, in the case of negative feelings, can lead to an impairment of your state of mind. So if you don't want to talk to anyone around you, talk to yourself. This conversation does not have to be audible, you can also talk to yourself silently, after all, you would probably get skeptical looks from those around you if you suddenly started talking to yourself out loud on the train or in the supermarket. Nevertheless, try to consciously formulate your thoughts as if you were talking to someone - as if you had to explain your feelings to someone else. This distinguishes self-talk from an inner monologue and a carousel of thoughts. So talk to yourself and organize your thoughts and feelings.
As everyone is different, the exercises mentioned will also work differently for each person. Try to find out which exercise(s) help you best and how you can best integrate them into your daily routine. None of these exercises take an excessive amount of time or resources, they are quick, effective and require no financial outlay. So try your luck and you will find that there is one that suits you among the exercises listed.
Own patterns and beliefs
Our aim is therefore to have a positive attitude towards ourselves and others and to avoid negative value judgments. Our thought patterns should be as positive as possible ("I am okay - you are okay"). In everyday life, however, we often have to deal with beliefs that can limit or negatively influence our thought patterns. Beliefs are fundamental assumptions and convictions that do not always have to be covered by reality - however, it is important that you are convinced of the truth of the belief and act accordingly. So if I believe, for example, that I have no talent for writing, then I probably won't try, and if I never try and therefore never practise, then I will never actually become good at writing. An important goal for achieving a positive world view and positive thought patterns is therefore to overcome negative beliefs.
Information Beliefs:
Beliefs are fundamental assumptions that a person makes about themselves, their environment and the world in general. Beliefs are often general and fundamental, i.e. a statement such as "The world is bad" or "People are fundamentally good" can be described as a belief. Most people have a smaller or larger bundle of beliefs that they carry with them in their everyday lives. Beliefs are always our own interpretation of the truth, which is based on our experiences and imprints. A person who has been cheated is certainly more inclined to see the world as "bad" and their fellow human beings as "evil" than a person who has only had positive experiences with their fellow human beings. Someone who firmly believes that they cannot write well will also have come to this conclusion as a result of an experience. This experience does not have to be particularly spectacular; the person concerned may not even be able to remember it - but it has nevertheless become ingrained and has led to a belief system being anchored in the person. In the case of writer's block, for example, it may be that a teacher once read out a sentence from their own essay in front of the whole class as a negative example. Even if the teacher did not name who had written the sentence, the person concerned naturally knew that it was theirs. The whole class laughed at this, which is why the person still subconsciously resonates to this day: I can't write, I only embarrass myself when I try. The belief was anchored as an inner truth.
There is a difference between positive and negative beliefs. Anyone who believes that people are fundamentally good will be more positive towards their fellow human beings than someone who sees the world as fundamentally bad. In general, it is advisable to question your own beliefs and differentiate them if necessary, as blanket statements are rarely one hundred percent correct.
Beliefs and the law of resonance:
Negative beliefs tend to lead to a negative response, positive beliefs tend to lead to a positive response. You will find that you are more likely to have negative experiences in everyday life with a negative attitude than with a positive one. Negative energies radiate out and are transferred to the other person. You receive the energy you send out to the other person as a response. This confirms your inner truth again and again. If you assume that nobody likes you, you will approach other people with a negative attitude. They reflect this negative attitude back to you and you feel confirmed in your negative thoughts, even if they have no basis in fact. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Changing limiting beliefs and views
In the long term, it is difficult to go through life with a bundle of negative beliefs, i.e. a negative mindset. The mental strain of these thoughts quickly becomes noticeable and can lead to a deeper crisis. Negative thoughts also hinder our positive view of others. If we fundamentally perceive our fellow human beings as selfish or dishonest, we do not arrive at the desired assessment that people are good and okay in themselves. If you limit yourself through your negative beliefs, you will not come to the realization that you are okay.
Transforming negative beliefs into positive ones: cognitive restructuring
In psychotherapy, the method of cognitive restructuring is often used in the process of transforming negative beliefs into positive ones. This method is based on the so-called A-B-C model. Imagine you meet a friend while shopping. You are not close friends, but you know each other well enough to stop for a moment and chat. She says to you: "Oh, you've put on a bit of weight ". This sentence is initially just a statement that can be right or wrong. You have either put on weight or not, but this sentence does not contain any judgment. Nevertheless, you will probably perceive it as an insult or at least as a slight. But why is that?
If you wanted to describe the situation, you...
