Chapter 1
Finding Your Catalyst

I sat at the kitchen table with my head in my hands. Tears streamed down my face as my husband and I were hit with the reality of how far out of control our finances were. We had just found out we were unexpectedly pregnant a few weeks after getting married. After completing some simple math, we realized we would not be able to afford monthly daycare payments.

My husband and I totaled up exactly how much debt we had: $111,108.29 (not including our mortgage). Our minimum monthly payments totaled over $1,400 each month. I did a double take. Surely we had made a mistake when adding all of our debt into the calculator! For two teachers, this might as well have been a fortune.

What were we going to do? How would we pay for childcare? Don't kids eat a lot? How would we afford groceries? And oh my goodness don't hospitals cost a fortune?!

Anxiety and fear clouded my mind. I couldn't think straight. I just wanted to pretend that we didn't have a problem. I wanted to go back to when we thought everything was perfectly fine. I wanted to believe our money wasn't an issue.

That day at the kitchen table in our small apartment sat two twenty-something adults who had no clue how to pull themselves out of the mess they had created. I felt like we were standing at the bottom of a mountain and had no idea how to climb to the top. We didn't have a path to take, a map to follow, or the tools to get there.

That moment was our breaking point, our rock bottom. To be honest, my spending habits were downright embarrassing and completely unhealthy. My husband, the saver in our marriage, let me spend money because he thought it would bring me joy. "Happy wife, happy life" they say! Unfortunately, my temporary happiness from buying stuff I could not actually afford was setting us up for a world of pain and debt. And our previous choices about taking out massive amounts of student loans left these two schoolteachers feeling completely hopeless.

Teachers are underpaid, overworked, and usually have to supplement their income in some way. I almost resigned myself to the idea that I'd always be waiting on my next paycheck and never be able to go on a nice vacation or live in abundance. My immediate thought was that we would forever feel trapped and suffocated by debt and money. I figured we would never have enough. Enough money, enough freedom, enough peace of mind.

But then a little voice in the back of my head whispered something. It said, "What if it doesn't have to be this way? What if two teachers can defy the odds?"

Beginning the Journey

I didn't know how we were going to get out of debt, live on less money, and fix the financial situation we found ourselves in. We had years of bad spending habits and mindset issues to unpack. But I knew I could figure it out along the way because I was motivated to live a different life than where we found ourselves. My husband, Matt, and I both knew that it would take work to pull ourselves out of crippling debt on two teacher salaries.

I wish I could tell you that we would have made this choice even if we didn't find ourselves pregnant just a few weeks after getting married. In a perfect world, Matt and I would have made this decision because we wanted it for ourselves as a couple. But I can't tell you that because it would be a lie.

We decided to completely change our financial situation because we had to do something different. We took this step to get our money under control for our baby to be. The baby that we didn't even know we wanted. The son that caught us off guard, forced us to take a long look at our life, and do something uncomfortable for someone else. We had to put him first. He was our motivation. He was our catalyst. Evan, our precious boy, was our driving force to sacrifice in areas of our lives for a period of time so that we could live in abundance for the rest of our life.

Yet as we continued on our financial journey, our catalyst became even greater than just our son. We wanted it not just for him and our second son, James. We wanted it for us. We wanted to reach financial success, pay off debt, and be a story that could motivate others.

Our journey began out of desperation. Yet as time went on, it turned into a journey that would create a generational shift for our family.

That day while sitting at my hand-me-down kitchen table surrounded by wobbly IKEA kitchen chairs, I wiped my tears away and decided that this was the moment our lives would change. Matt and I jumped with two feet into the unknown world of managing our money. We had zero knowledge of what we were doing (they don't teach this stuff in school), but we knew we could figure it out as we went.

We just had to start.

Matt and I eventually paid off over $111,000 of debt on two teacher salaries. During our almost five-year journey of paying off debt, we made more mistakes than I care to admit. We weren't perfect. We had moments where we wanted to give up. We were faced with unexpected expenses that set us back months at a time. But after a journey that felt like an eternity, we did it!

Matt and I worked together to create a strong foundation for managing our money, and for the rest of our lives we will reap the rewards of building that foundation. I learned how to conquer impulse spending, how to write a budget that actually works, and what to do when I trip and fall along the way. We created our own money management system that worked, and it's the one we still use to this day.

The memory of feeling defeated and hitting rock bottom is just that: a memory. It's no longer our financial truth.

But I know rock bottom might be your current reality. I know you might be struggling just to keep up with your expenses. You might be hurting and feeling defeated because you have more bills than money coming in. Maybe you feel like a failure with your finances or completely out of control with money. The shame and guilt might keep you up at night.

If that's you, please know you don't have to live in this space forever. You can pick yourself up, defeat the odds, and change your finances. You are capable of more than you likely give yourself credit for. It will take work, but I promise you that it will be worth it!

The Catalyst Is Your Motivator for Change

The first step, and arguably the most important step, is to find a catalyst to change your money situation that is so strong, you won't give up along the way.

Managing your money better, paying off debt, and saying no to impulse purchases takes an enormous amount of discipline. It likely takes more discipline than you're used to. We live in a world that tells us to spend more, put purchases on a credit card, and find happiness from stuff. Society tells us that we shouldn't have to wait for anything. Do you want new furniture? Finance it! Want to trade in your current car? Just roll it into your next car payment! Can't afford that beach vacation? That's what credit cards are for!

Many people lack the patience to save up for large purchases and eventually find themselves buried in debt. It's easy to get caught up in the exhilaration of buying something new just for the thrill of it. This temporary happiness is present for a moment, but when the excitement of a new item wears off, we are left with the same feelings as before.

I say all this from experience. The first time I bought an "adult" car, it was partly out of necessity. I had a baby on the way, and my car at the time was a two-door Chevy Cavalier with a junk title. I didn't feel comfortable driving around with my newborn son in a car that had been totaled before.

I'll never forget taking my new car out for a test drive. It had a sunroof, leather interior, and automatic windows (I had never had a car with automatic windows before! Oh, the luxury!). It even had the number one item on my wish list: a CD player. When I test-drove that pre-owned Toyota Camry, I felt on top of the world.

Side note: I realize how lame this sounds as I type it out. However, this was the nicest car I had ever driven, had features my previous car never had, and is my truth-so I'm going to own it!

I remember driving away from the dealership, breathing in the smell of the leather seats, and thinking, "This car has made me so happy. I'll never get over this feeling." What I didn't know then that I know now: feelings from material possessions fade. My car brought me temporary joy and happiness. To think I would never get over the happiness of a car, just an item in my life, was short-sighted, to say the least. I know that now.

Yet, the world tries to tell us that spending money is the key to happiness. So many people fall for it, myself included. We spend money emotionally to run away from our feelings or provide the thrill we've been missing. It's a constant battle, and one that most people don't even realize they are facing.

Breaking free from what the world tells us we "should do" isn't easy. It takes a great motivator, or as I like to call it, a catalyst for change. A catalyst is your reason for changing the way you spend and manage your money. It's the reason you will sacrifice for a period of time so you can live...