Golf Shorts

"I miss the putt. I miss the putt. I miss the putt. I make." - Seve Ballesteros, explaining his four-putt on the 16th green at the 1986 Masters. "At 15 we put down my bag to hunt for a ball, found the ball, lost the bag." - Lee Trevino, at Royal Birkdale. "He told me he caddied in the same group with me in the Hot Springs Open. That's why I voted for him, because he was a caddie." - Tommy Bolt, on Bill Clinton. "That's Jack Benny. He's always out there on bad days like that looking for golf balls." - Bing Crosby, after a skin diver emerged from the water at the 16th hole of the Crosby Pro-Am. "I went to bed and I was old and washed up. I woke up a rookie. What could be better?" - Ray Floyd, on turning 50 and qualifying for the Senior Tour. "Worst haircut I've ever seen in my life. And I've had a few bad ones. It looks like he has a divot over each ear." - David Feherty, on a John Daly haircut.