Bling Bling Strategies For The New Economy.- Why George F. Will?.- Lube Warning.- Jon's Wife.- Spare Us The Cutter.- 1999.- Last Night At The Grocery Store.- Darth Vader Made Me Cry.- Alabama Hamilton.- "DID HE DO IT?".- Romance.- Celebrity.- Known In The Gates.- Customers I Have Driven Out Of The Store.- Never Threaten to Eat Your Co-Workers.- Brad Pitt: Your Remakes Are Ready.- Kookoo for Coconuts.- You've Got Ringworm.- Lost In Translation.- A Smart Suit And A Kipper Tie, A Big Arrow Pointing To My Fly.- Dear Cranky Old Bitch.- After Spending Two Weeks At My Parents House.- The Girl Who Cried Webmaster.- When Is A Reporter Not A Reporter?.- The Problem With Airplanes.- The Art Of Getting Away With It.- High Five.- Twenty-One Provocations.- Reflections-Artificial Sweetener.- Volvulus.- Democratic National Blog?.- Long Before I Blogged.- Logic.- When The Waiter Came.- I Saw U.- Red Hot And Blue.- Disasters Of The Natural Variety.- September 11, 2003.- Business Cards.- Jury Duty.- Poll: 7/5 of Americans Don't Bother To Do The Math.- Chatty.- Look On The Bright Side.- Junior Crime Dog.- How To Annoy Me.- Broken Hearts.- Clutching For Answers In Baghdad.- Con Man.- I Don't Know About Your Blog.- Fuctung.- The Gameshow.- Hester Prynne.- My Cred Is Intact.- Celebrity Sightings From Antiquity.- My Beautiful Life? Not Exactly.- Drew's Blog.- It's All In The Packaging.- Close.- A Chair! A Chair! My Kingdom For A Chair!.- Cat Magnet.- Worthless Public Defenders.- What Up, Boss.- Neighbor.- Hey! Parking Lot Blowjob Man!.- Letter From New York City's President.- Things In The Past Week That Have Brought Me To Uncontrollable, Blubbering Tears.- Notes Toward A Constitution For Communal Beach Houses.- Appendix A.- Editor's FAQ.- Appendix B.- Index ofContributors.
