CHAPTER 1: THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EMPATHY AND BEING AN EMPATH

"When you start to develop your powers of empathy and imagination, the whole world opens up to you"

- Susan Sarandon.

Empathy is a trait that can be learned by anyone. And to some extent we all practice empathy in varying degrees as we interact with each other. But showing empathy and being an empath are actually not identical.

Here's how to process the difference between the two.

Imagine you are sitting down at Starbucks with two of your friends that you very much adore. Both strong in character and while different in personalities you know they both have big hearts.

Suddenly a couple sitting next to you cause a scene. The guy bangs the table in anger spilling a perfectly wonderful Frappuccino all over and yells a few words before stomping out. The woman left behind feels utterly crushed and embarrassed. Tears stream down her red cheeks and she hangs her head as low as possible as she quickly tries to clean up the mess created. For a moment, all eyes are on her and you could literally feel everything that she felt.

One of your friends turns to you and asks, "Should we go over there and see if we can help?" As you look over to your friend you notice her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are just as teary as yours. It's almost as if you're both experiencing what the couple experienced. Before you can even respond, your other friend jumps in and says, "Naaa, she'll be fine. Look she's already stopped crying. Let it go."

What just happened in that scenario?

One of your friends did show some empathy and recognized the discomfort of the woman but that's as far as it went. She was glad to just get on with her day as if nothing happened. The other friend, however, seemed to have had a completely different experience. Her entire body chemistry changed. And you felt it too, didn't you?

This is the subtle difference between showing empathy and being an empath.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. With a little conscious effort, every human being has the ability to demonstrate empathy when the situation calls for it.

When one is an empath, however, it's an entirely different experience. It's more like having an elevated gift and an ability to step into another person's shoes. An empath has the power to step outside his or her own experience and understand what another person is saying, thinking, and feeling. It's more than just being a highly sensitive person and it goes beyond sensing emotions.

According to science, empaths are highly sensitive and can process emotions faster and more intimately. The common acronym for this is HSP meaning a Highly Sensitive Person. A highly sensitive person isn't to be confused with an attention seeker or overly sensitive people who enjoy unpleasant tantrum infused behaviors. It means you are high in sensory processing sensitivity. A true HSP is usually very aware of the feelings of others and very reluctant to cause a scene.

So, as you may have guessed from the example I shared of your two friends, one of them does demonstrate empathy, which is great. But the other friend is more likely to be considered an empath.

A true empath goes beyond being a HSP; he or she also has empathic abilities which, when mastered, result in a very powerful being capable of various things such as healing others. But we'll get into that a little later in the book.

The natural question that follows is: how does one know whether they possess empathic abilities or not?

I mean, do you actually know if you're an empath? How about we finally shed some light on that.

A Self-diagnosis answering one question: Am I An Empath?

"I think we all have empathy. We may not have enough courage to display it."

-Maya Angelou

I grew up like most kids with parents who wanted me to fit in and be like all the other kids. Except I just wasn't like the other kids. Being on my own made me feel better. I couldn't stand being in large crowds. Growing up I remember watching something on television that was a particularly bad story and it totally freaked me out. I don't recall exactly what the bad story was about, but I do remember how shocked my mother was when 3 hours later she found me still locked up in my room sobbing hysterically.

These "incidents" kept showing up into my adult years, sometimes causing me to spend days in complete isolation feeling very misunderstood by everyone including my partner. For a while I had a roommate and I could feel their resentment and anger each time they walked through the door. It was almost like I as breathing in the energy of whoever was near me at any given point in time.

It was tough. People just called me moody, too sensitive and unpredictable. Growing up I was told I needed to grow thicker skin and stop taking everything so personally. But that's because no one in my environment took the time to understand what was really happening inside me.

It's not easy going through daily life feeling like no one gets you. You know?

Truth be told, as I get older and mature it is becoming evident that there are various levels of being empathic. It's almost like a spectrum with varying degrees from the highest (true empaths with healing abilities) to those who are suffering from a serious deficiency (narcissists). There are people who are highly sensitive and keenly aware of all the different energies around them and there are those who've taken it to a whole new level where it's almost as though the surrounding energies of others overpower them. They feel in their bodies the same feeling whether good or bad that another is experiencing.

These are the people who will often report this experience of other people's feelings becoming intrusive and uncontrollable. Regardless of how chronic your empathic levels are, it is prudent to do a self-assessment to get more in touch with who you really are.

So here are reflective questions to help you in this quest to understand why you feel and experience life as you do. Keep in mind this list of questions is just an overview to help you get that initial clarity. If you would like to dive deeper into yourself then I recommend having a conversation with a coach or an empathy expert. As a general rule of thumb, if you answer yes to at least 6 of these 12 questions, you are definitely an empath with amazing gifts that need to be utilized positively in the world.

1. Am I usually drawn to animals and can sense their emotions?

2. Do I often feel overwhelmed in large crowds or in the presence of others?

3. Am I powerfully drawn to people experiencing emotional pain?

4. Do I need to seclude myself from others on a regular basis for some downtime?

5. Am I often dreaming vividly of future events and do my dreams often come to pass?

6. Can I usually tell when someone is not being honest or authentic?

7. Do I possess any healing powers?

8. Does finding time for self-care often feel like a struggle for me?

9. Do I consider myself a free spirit with distaste for control, rules, and routine?

10. Am I constantly struggling with my body weight?

11. Do I have a strong creative streak and a vivid imagination?

12. Is strong violence, cruelty of any kind or tragedy utterly unbearable to me?

Congratulations!

Now you know more about who you really are. If you answered yes to most if not all of the 12 questions, you not only have empathic abilities but you also have the opportunity to make a special difference in our present world.

Yes, it is true. Empaths are having a particularly difficult time in our fast-paced modern world. There's a lot of negativity being broadcasted and unfortunately, they come right at you. But be of good cheer, for all hope is not lost. There is much work ahead of us if we want to turn things around and stop falling victim to the negative emotions being emanated.

This gift you have just discovered and validated is a blessing. But in order for you to harness and enjoy it as such, you will need more awareness on how to groom yourself so you can walk around this earth as a positive force for good, healing those that require and request it, breathing into the atmosphere the nourishing energies that bring about prosperity, and playing your part as a loving, gifted being.

That is the new chapter of your life that awaits you, which is why I encourage to keep turning the pages of this book and discover how to elevate...