Burn the Haystack
Decode Dating, Torch the Duds, and Make Room for Men Who Matter
Published on 23. April 2026
Book
Hardback
320 pages
978-0-06-344757-8 (ISBN)
Description
USA TODAY AND NATIONAL INDIE BESTSELLER!
It's time for a dating revolution!
How do you find a needle in a haystack? You burn the haystack to the ground.
Among Dr. Jennie Young's legion of fans, the "needle" is a long-term, committed partner and the "haystack" is the group of men available to date. So often women are advised to "give the guy a chance," to take seriously men whose app bios tell women not to take themselves seriously. Young's refreshing approach to online dating turns this advice on its head: Give almost no one a chance.
A professor of feminist rhetoric, Young teaches people how to decode the hidden meanings in ordinary communication. Fascinated (and frustrated) by the rhetorical gambits she saw in men's profiles when she first downloaded a dating app, she created Burned Haystack to help other women navigate the nonsense and find their needles.
Young has revolutionized the dating lexicon by identifying common toxic rhetorical patterns in men's messaging, such as:
Test and Apologize: He texts some sexual innuendo, then apologizes before you can even respond. He's testing if you'll be okay with being objectified. The test is real; the apology isn't.
Disciplinary/Directive: He uses his dating app profile to "lay down the law" with women, which usually turns into abuse down the road. Understanding this pattern will help you disengage from this guy before he ruins your life.
Blue Ribbon for Bare Minimum: He opens his bio with "I will never hit you" (shockingly common) or brags about basic adult life skills such as having a job or washing his sheets. Things don't improve from here.
Young's engaging system empowers readers to sort through profiles quickly and effectively, preserving both time and sanity. And with its blend of scathing humor and academic rigor, Burn the Haystack is so much more than a dating tool-it gives women the skills to break down communication from the classroom to the boardroom and everywhere in between, and the confidence to approach life with a deeper, more powerful level of understanding.
It's time for a dating revolution!
How do you find a needle in a haystack? You burn the haystack to the ground.
Among Dr. Jennie Young's legion of fans, the "needle" is a long-term, committed partner and the "haystack" is the group of men available to date. So often women are advised to "give the guy a chance," to take seriously men whose app bios tell women not to take themselves seriously. Young's refreshing approach to online dating turns this advice on its head: Give almost no one a chance.
A professor of feminist rhetoric, Young teaches people how to decode the hidden meanings in ordinary communication. Fascinated (and frustrated) by the rhetorical gambits she saw in men's profiles when she first downloaded a dating app, she created Burned Haystack to help other women navigate the nonsense and find their needles.
Young has revolutionized the dating lexicon by identifying common toxic rhetorical patterns in men's messaging, such as:
Test and Apologize: He texts some sexual innuendo, then apologizes before you can even respond. He's testing if you'll be okay with being objectified. The test is real; the apology isn't.
Disciplinary/Directive: He uses his dating app profile to "lay down the law" with women, which usually turns into abuse down the road. Understanding this pattern will help you disengage from this guy before he ruins your life.
Blue Ribbon for Bare Minimum: He opens his bio with "I will never hit you" (shockingly common) or brags about basic adult life skills such as having a job or washing his sheets. Things don't improve from here.
Young's engaging system empowers readers to sort through profiles quickly and effectively, preserving both time and sanity. And with its blend of scathing humor and academic rigor, Burn the Haystack is so much more than a dating tool-it gives women the skills to break down communication from the classroom to the boardroom and everywhere in between, and the confidence to approach life with a deeper, more powerful level of understanding.
More details
Language
English
Place of publication
New York
United States
Publishing group
HarperCollins Publishers Inc
Illustrations
b&w chart
Dimensions
Height: 232 mm
Width: 159 mm
Thickness: 32 mm
Weight
460 gr
ISBN-13
978-0-06-344757-8 (9780063447578)
Copyright in bibliographic data and cover images is held by Nielsen Book Services Limited or by the publishers or by their respective licensors: all rights reserved.
Schweitzer Classification
Other editions
Additional editions
E-Book
04/2026
HarperCollins
€20.42
Available for download
Person
Jennie Young, PhD, is the creator of Burned Haystack Dating Method and a professor of writing and rhetoric at University of Wisconsin, Green Bay. She publishes work in humor, feminism, applied rhetoric, dating dynamics, and education. Her writing can be seen in McSweeney's, Ms. magazine, The Independent, Huffpost, Inside Higher Ed, and elsewhere. Also the author of a textbook that applies critical discourse analysis to contemporary high school culture, Young focuses on public scholarship, making academic content accessible for everyone.