
Out of Control
Couples, Conflict and the Capacity for Change
Natalie Collins(Author)
SPCK Publishing
Published on 21. March 2019
Book
Paperback/Softback
288 pages
978-0-281-07890-5 (ISBN)
Description
All of us will be familiar with supporting friends, family and colleagues through the ups and downs of relationships. But could some of the more difficult times of argument and conflict be more than general relationship issues? Is there something more sinister going on?
Over the course of a lifetime, 30% of women and 16% of men will be subjected to abuse by a partner, yet so many of us are unsure exactly what constitutes domestic abuse, and wouldn't know how to react if we, or one of our friends or family, found ourselves in a relationship with an abuser.
Natalie Collins is the perfect guide to lead you through this subject, amassing over a decade's experience leading workshops, raising awareness and capturing national media attention in her work against domestic abuse.
Highly readable, invaluably insightful and steeped in theological insight, Natalie starts right from the basics, exploring what domestic abuse is, why it is perpetrated and the impact it has on children and adults. Filled with case studies, including Natalie's own story, this book offers much-needed advice on how we can address domestic abuse, both as individuals and as a church community.
Over the course of a lifetime, 30% of women and 16% of men will be subjected to abuse by a partner, yet so many of us are unsure exactly what constitutes domestic abuse, and wouldn't know how to react if we, or one of our friends or family, found ourselves in a relationship with an abuser.
Natalie Collins is the perfect guide to lead you through this subject, amassing over a decade's experience leading workshops, raising awareness and capturing national media attention in her work against domestic abuse.
Highly readable, invaluably insightful and steeped in theological insight, Natalie starts right from the basics, exploring what domestic abuse is, why it is perpetrated and the impact it has on children and adults. Filled with case studies, including Natalie's own story, this book offers much-needed advice on how we can address domestic abuse, both as individuals and as a church community.
Reviews / Votes
No-one who has met Natalie Collins will be surprised at this book. It is authentically hers, full of energy, insight, quirks and personal narrative. Few people can pepper a serious, even scholarly, book on domestic abuse with comments that leave you laughing out loud! But finding humour in tragedy is Natalie's great gift, as is her refusal to be cowed by what she has gone through. This book is both realistic and hopeful, opening a window on abusers and abused, not least by Natalie's personification of the 'tactics of torture.' The profiles of abusing partners, and the struggles of those who suffer will be soberly familiar to many. Written with Christian wisdom and vigour, Natalie's up to date, well-researched, and 'must-read' book challenges us all to work ever harder towards the eradication of violence against women. -- Elaine Storkey, Theologian, Philosopher, Broadcaster and Author Out of Control is a call to action; at times funny, touching, insightful, challenging and profoundly disturbing... without doubt this is a must read for every church leader. -- Kate Coleman, Founder and co-director of Next Leadership When I first began to review books, two decades ago, I was a jobbing pastor, and took a vow that I would never write 'every pastor should read this book'-the life is too busy, and too varied, for that ever to be true. Or so I thought. Today I repent: every pastor should read Natalie Collins's book, and should give it to their leaders to read as well. Domestic violence is an enormous hidden plague that infects every community, and every congregation, in the land, and Natalie exposes the reality of this, and points to practical steps we can all take to help.Even better, Natalie communicates out of deep expertise, but simply, even colloquially. And all her passion, all her hope, all her joy, all her humour, are present in this book. It is a magnificent achievement, and it matters. Read it! -- Dr Stephen Holmes, Senior Lecturer in Systematic Theology, University of St Andrews The book is well-researched and accessibly written. It is full of information which would be useful for those in abusive relationships, those who seek to intervene in such relationships, and those who ought to be intervening - such as church leaders. As a survivor of domestic abuse, Collins speaks with clarity and honesty about her own story. -- Helen Paynter * Centre for the Study of Bible and Violence * I can't merely describe this as informative, well-researched and practical. It's also jarring and prophetic. Equally, to take such suffering, face it down, push back against it and raise a prophetic cry for others to hear, is nothing short of heroic. This book oozes with courage, wisdom and hope.
Bottom line: Collins has written a much needed, must-read for anybody who's interested in creating and curating a better world. -- Tristan Sherwin, author of Love: Expressed
More details
Language
English
Place of publication
London
United Kingdom
Target group
College/higher education
Professional and scholarly
Product notice
Paperback (UK-trade)
Dimensions
Height: 216 mm
Width: 140 mm
Thickness: 18 mm
Weight
410 gr
ISBN-13
978-0-281-07890-5 (9780281078905)
Copyright in bibliographic data and cover images is held by Nielsen Book Services Limited or by the publishers or by their respective licensors: all rights reserved.
Schweitzer Classification
Other editions
Additional editions

E-Book
03/2019
1st Edition
SPCK Publishing
€12.49
Available for download
Person
Natalie Collins (Author)
Natalie Collins has been working to address domestic abuse issues for over a decade, working directly with women subjected to abuse and domestic abuse perpetrators, and training ordinands, church leaders and congregations on domestic abuse issues. She has delivered keynote addresses both nationally and internationally on the subject, and has spoken alongside Archbishops and UN representatives. Natalie is also the founder of the 'Fifty Shades is Domestic Abuse' campaign and has appeared on national television, radio and printed media talking about abuse, consent and women's rights. She has further written several articles and book contributions on domestic violence, and is the author of the widely used domestic abuse pack for UK churches, the Restored Church Pack.
Natalie Collins has been working to address domestic abuse issues for over a decade, working directly with women subjected to abuse and domestic abuse perpetrators, and training ordinands, church leaders and congregations on domestic abuse issues. She has delivered keynote addresses both nationally and internationally on the subject, and has spoken alongside Archbishops and UN representatives. Natalie is also the founder of the 'Fifty Shades is Domestic Abuse' campaign and has appeared on national television, radio and printed media talking about abuse, consent and women's rights. She has further written several articles and book contributions on domestic violence, and is the author of the widely used domestic abuse pack for UK churches, the Restored Church Pack.
Content
1 Chapter 1 - Pretending I'm a traffic warden (What is this book
about?)
15 Chapter 2 - Bulldozing safety (Understanding harmful behaviour
in relationships)
39 Chapter 3 - It's not his diabetes (Why does he behave like that?)
64 Chapter 4 - What in the world is going on? (This is not only about
individuals and their relationships)
79 Chapter 5 - What would Jesus do? (All that theology stuff)
102 Chapter 6 - Why doesn't she just leave? (The question everyone
asks)
126 Chapter - Life can be beautiful (Dealing with sexual harm and
betrayal)
148 Chapter 8 - We did the best we could (Bringing up children with
a co-parent who is harmful)
169 Chapter 9 - It's all in your head (Trauma, emotional harm and all
the sciencey stuff)
189 Chapter 10 - Help! I don't know how to help (You can make a
difference)
211 Chapter 11 - There is no chrysalis season (Making a difference
for the next generation)
228 Chapter 12 - What does freedom look like? (Things can get
better)
237 Chapter 13 - Do real men hit women? (Well, do they?)
248 Chapter 14 - Can we end domestic abuse? (There is hope)
259 Appendix 1 - Signposting
262 Appendix 2 - Resources
266 Appendix 3 - Safety plan
279 Appendix 4 - Feeling words sheet
281 Notes
303 Index
about?)
15 Chapter 2 - Bulldozing safety (Understanding harmful behaviour
in relationships)
39 Chapter 3 - It's not his diabetes (Why does he behave like that?)
64 Chapter 4 - What in the world is going on? (This is not only about
individuals and their relationships)
79 Chapter 5 - What would Jesus do? (All that theology stuff)
102 Chapter 6 - Why doesn't she just leave? (The question everyone
asks)
126 Chapter - Life can be beautiful (Dealing with sexual harm and
betrayal)
148 Chapter 8 - We did the best we could (Bringing up children with
a co-parent who is harmful)
169 Chapter 9 - It's all in your head (Trauma, emotional harm and all
the sciencey stuff)
189 Chapter 10 - Help! I don't know how to help (You can make a
difference)
211 Chapter 11 - There is no chrysalis season (Making a difference
for the next generation)
228 Chapter 12 - What does freedom look like? (Things can get
better)
237 Chapter 13 - Do real men hit women? (Well, do they?)
248 Chapter 14 - Can we end domestic abuse? (There is hope)
259 Appendix 1 - Signposting
262 Appendix 2 - Resources
266 Appendix 3 - Safety plan
279 Appendix 4 - Feeling words sheet
281 Notes
303 Index