Who's the Favourite?
The Loving, Messy Realities of Sibling Relationships
Published on 19. March 2026
Book
Hardback
336 pages
978-1-83643-128-2 (ISBN)
Description
Older siblings are bossy, younger siblings always get what they want and only children don't know how to share. Oh and don't forget about middle children!
For many of us, our relationships with our siblings will be the longest of our lives, sometimes closing in on a century. Whether loving or fraught, competitive or codependent, these dynamics are integral in shaping who we become. It's time we acknowledge their significance.
Exploring the unique and complex nature of these bonds, Catherine Carr separates fact from fiction, revealing the truths behind birth order stereotypes, favouritism, unreliable memory-making, 'broken' and blended families, only children, having a sibling with additional needs, estrangement and bereavement. Reflecting on her atypical upbringing, Carr asks us to consider our brothers and sisters beyond the roles we assumed in childhood.
*Interwoven with candid interviews with sibling pairs taken from her hit podcast, Relatively, such as Chris and Xand van Tulleken, Johnny and Lillie Flynn, Nick and Gill Hornby, Manni and Rueben Coe, and more*
For many of us, our relationships with our siblings will be the longest of our lives, sometimes closing in on a century. Whether loving or fraught, competitive or codependent, these dynamics are integral in shaping who we become. It's time we acknowledge their significance.
Exploring the unique and complex nature of these bonds, Catherine Carr separates fact from fiction, revealing the truths behind birth order stereotypes, favouritism, unreliable memory-making, 'broken' and blended families, only children, having a sibling with additional needs, estrangement and bereavement. Reflecting on her atypical upbringing, Carr asks us to consider our brothers and sisters beyond the roles we assumed in childhood.
*Interwoven with candid interviews with sibling pairs taken from her hit podcast, Relatively, such as Chris and Xand van Tulleken, Johnny and Lillie Flynn, Nick and Gill Hornby, Manni and Rueben Coe, and more*
Reviews / Votes
'Truly enlightening, charming and moving. I've learned so much...but I'm still angry with my sister for reading my diary!' -Jane Garvey 'My relationship with my brother is so joyful, so productive and so important for understanding who I am. It's also the most likely to lead to murder by strangulation. This book is essential reading: we all have siblings in our lives, even if they're other people's. It is our least discussed and most formative relationship and Catherine's work is a hilarious, moving and fascinating guide through it.' -Chris and Xand van Tulleken 'This brilliant book makes me understand how complex and varied sibling relationships are. I thought I was lucky to be an only but now really wish I had a little sister.' -Dame Jenni Murray 'Catherine Carr has written a perceptive book exploring a rich and complex subject. By blending real life stories with the insights of specialists, she illuminates a diverse range of sibling relationships with the intelligence, warmth and sensitivity that her radio programmes invariably display.' -Jonathan Dimbleby 'A seminal work on siblings. Authoritative, informative, calming, sense-making, inclusive and above all else immensely readable.' -Annalisa Barbieri 'In Who's the Favourite, Catherine Carr offers a vivid and insightful exploration of the complex relationships between siblings. With warmth and clarity, she examines how sibling relationships form and inform an individual's identity and life. Carr's engaging narrative style brings a fresh perspective to a topic often overlooked. She highlights favoritism, bereavement, estrangement and the vital role brothers and sisters play as our shared historians. A must-read for anyone interested in understanding the enduring bonds of siblings.' -Fern Schumer Chapman, author of Brothers, Sisters, Strangers 'It's so refreshing to read a book that explores the entire spectrum of sibling experiences. Thank you for dedicating a chapter to the complex journey of growing up with a disabled brother or sister - siblings sharing this experience will truly feel seen.' -Clare Kassa, CEO, Sibs 'The bond between siblings is unlike any other relationship. Who's the Favourite? reminds us so wonderfully how powerful, complicated and important siblings are, even when one of you is no longer here. Sibling grief can be overlooked and under-appreciated, with many feeling like forgotten mourners. I'm delighted that this book shines a light on our stories and gives us a voice, too.' -Callum Fairhurst, Founder of Sibling SupportMore details
Language
English
Place of publication
London
United Kingdom
Dimensions
Height: 220 mm
Width: 144 mm
Thickness: 32 mm
Weight
440 gr
ISBN-13
978-1-83643-128-2 (9781836431282)
Copyright in bibliographic data and cover images is held by Nielsen Book Services Limited or by the publishers or by their respective licensors: all rights reserved.
Schweitzer Classification
Person
Catherine Carr is an award-winning documentary maker, presenter, podcast producer and reporter with over twenty years' experience in audio. Her work for BBC Radio 4, The World service and her own company, Pocket Productions, has taken her all over the world. Carr is the producer for Talking Politics podcast and is presenter of BBC Radio 4's The Exchange. She is the middle child of three, and created a podcast about siblings called Relatively to finally get some attention. Who's The Favourite? is her first book.