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Listen introduces parents to five simple, practical skills even the most harried parent can use. These tools will help parents strengthen their connection with their child and help build their child's intelligence, cooperation, and ability to learn as they grow. The book delivers detailed information accompanied by more than one hundred real-life stories from parents who've used this approach to address the root causes of their child's difficult behaviors.
Five surprising things parents will learn:
• You don't have to reward or punish willful children to get them to cooperate.
• Aggressive kids are frightened kids, and there are simple tools to ease their fear so they don't need to lash out.
• Your willingness to just listen to crying or tantrums often is enough to heal a child's fears and hurts.
• Safe play during which your kid becomes the boss can reveal his hidden feelings- and heal them too.
• Parents who regularly listen to one another's struggles, without judging or advising, often clear so much toxic emotion that their children benefit greatly.
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ISBN-13
978-0-9974593-4-0 (9780997459340)
Schweitzer Classification
Patty Wipfler is the mother of two sons and the Founder of the non-profit organization, Hand in Hand Parenting. The focus of her life's work has been teaching and supporting parents. She directed The School, a non-profit parent co-operative preschool in Palo Alto, and later directed the Neighborhood Infant Toddler Center. She has led over 400 workshops for families and professionals who work with parents.
In 1989, Patty founded the non-profit Hand in Hand. As Director, she wrote the "Listening to Children" series and over 60 articles on the principles and benefits of this approach to parenting. To date, Hand in Hand has sold over 800,000 copies of "Listening to Children" (now published as "Parenting by Connection") in English, Spanish, Chinese and Japanese.
Patty Wipfler's articles have been published on Huffington Post, Mothering Magazine, Nurture Magazine, the Bulletin of Zero to Three, Child Welfare News, and in many local newsletters for parents. She has been a keynote speaker at Association for the Education of Young Children conventions in Chicago and Philadelphia, and has spoken to parents around the world.
Patty has two grown sons and lives in Palo Alto, California.
Contents
Patty's Preface 1
Tosha's Preface 5
Introduction 7
How to Use This Book 9
PART I: A NEW PERSPECTIVE ON PARENTING
Chapter 1: Parenting is Vital but Difficult Work 15
Chapter 2: Connection Is the Key 23
PART II: YOUR POWERFUL PARENTING TOOLBOX
Introduction 41
Chapter 3: Special Time 43
Chapter 4: Staylistening 59
Chapter 5: Setting Limits 77
Chapter 6: Playlistening 95
Chapter 7: The Listening Partnership 109
Chapter 8: Emotional Projects 125
PART III: SOLUTIONS TO YOUR EVERYDAY CHALLENGES
Chapter 9: Building Cooperation 141
9.1 Morning Routines 145
9.2 Mealtime 148
9.3 Sharing, Waiting, and Fairness 153
9.4 Homework 163
9.5 Chores 169
9.6 Screens and Devices 173
Chapter 10: Toward Sweeter Goodbyes 179
10.1 Goodbyes 186
10.2 Bedtime 190
10.3 School and Child Care 194
10.4 When Your Child Rejects a Parent 201
10.5 Handling Rocky Reunions 206
Chapter 11: Lifting Fear 213
11.1 Nail Biting and Thumb Sucking 230
11.2 Fears of Differences Between People 235
11.3 Performance Anxiety 240
11.4 Fear of Doctors and Medicine 246
11.5 Fear After an Accident 254
Chapter 12: Moving Beyond Aggression 263
12.1 Pushing, Hitting, Biting 272
12.2 When One Sibling Hurts Another 278
12.3 Meaningful Apologies 284
12.4 Bad Words from Good Kids 288
PART IV: OUR FUTURE, CONNECTED
Chapter 13: 9-1-1 for Parents 299
Chapter 14: Building Support for Your Parenting 303
Chapter 15: Our Future, Connected 315
