The Happiness Perspective

Part I: The Happiness Perspective

Is happiness possible?

Everybody wants a happy life, but it is elusive to many.

I recently spoke to a woman about the idea of happiness. She stated that she felt being truly happy is not possible, that you can be happy in a certain circumstance, such as getting a promotion or receiving a gift, but not happy in general. How sad to feel as though no one can be truly happy. I disagree with this point of view. I know people who are incredibly happy with their lives, including me. It has nothing to do with how much money they have. In fact, those I know with the most money are the least happy overall.

The ones who have true happiness are the ones who feel a sense of fulfillment. They live a life that is perfect for who they are at their core, living in accordance with their true nature. They develop a lifestyle that includes self-control and taking responsibility for what they create in their lives. They revel in the small daily joys that provide them with a laugh or a sense of discovery.

Those who live in fear of what may come next and who adopt a sense of helplessness and hopelessness are unhappy. The ones who continuously chase after a goal derived from what others say will make them happy find that joy is always just out of reach. Each individual must determine for him- or herself what it means to be happy. Define what happiness means to you and get aligned with it.

You likely have a wish list waiting to materialize. Is it a list of stuff or a way of being that you seek? What if all of your desires came true? Do you believe it is possible? Do you think you have the ability to bring good things into your life in a positive way?

Tough questions to be sure. You may fluctuate between self-trust and uncertainty. When doubt creeps in, it sets up the potential for self-sabotage and procrastination. Sabotaging the potential for your dreams to become reality allows you to remove responsibility for why you do not have the things you want. The truth is, we are responsible for manifesting every single thing that is in our lives.

Unfortunately, it seems so much easier to believe that you have absolutely no control over what is in your life, blaming it on fate or the things your relatives did to you. When you find yourself blaming others for what is going on in your world, take a step back and ask yourself how you are contributing to your success or difficulty. Go deep into your questioning and include your basic beliefs, the regular thoughts running through your mind, and your actions or lack thereof. A pattern will emerge that leads to the understanding of how you are the master of your life and what you are doing to bring things into being-positive or negative. You have brought everything into your life that exists there right now. Realizing this helps you to understand the immense power you possess to change whatever it is you no longer want and to manifest your desires.

What does your world look like right now? Is it bright with opportunities or dull with boredom? What do you want it to look like? Understand what each part of your life looks like until they all align. Depending on what is happening around you, your mood, your physical condition, and many other factors, your view of the world you live in can vary. In the sense that each of us has a reality based on our unique perception, everyone lives in a different world. This is the Law of Infinite Universes.

What goes on in your world? Do you have control, or do you feel helpless? Do you use your power, or do you submit to those around you? The decisions you make each day are based in the constructs and framework you have built, which are based on learning and experience and what you think is possible. Gauge where you are by conceptualizing what your world holds within it.

How Do You Want to Live?

We all have dreams of the perfect life, of a way of being on a daily basis that seems to elude the average person. Often, the idea of a different life is conceptualized by stepping out of the current circumstances into a whole new one. Generally, change happens gradually rather than all at once. The transitions that carry you toward your ideal life occur in small steps.

Thinking about the ideal life can be different from actually living it. It is worthwhile to test your ideas and experience them in small ways. Find ways to incorporate your ideal life into the life you live now. Gradually, that life will begin to manifest in bigger ways... or you may discover that this particular path is not something you really want. There may be certain things you need to let go of in order to live a certain way. It could mean that living more simply and freeing yourself from the aspects of your current life that hold you back may be necessary.

It takes courage to leave behind an old way of being. It takes the ability to go deep into yourself to discover a way of being that aligns with your true nature. It requires that you listen to yourself rather than the voices of those around you who tell you it cannot be done. Cultivate a strong vision of the ideal way of life and make the changes necessary to step into it fully.

Seeds Take Time to Grow

Growth requires time. When a seed is planted, the plant does not sprout up spontaneously. It needs time, nurturing, and nutrients to grow into its ultimate form in a healthy way. We live in a world that demands instant results, products that profess to give immediate cures or relief, programs that proclaim to change your life right away with little or no effort.

While it is true that there are moments when we have an epiphany and the resulting change seems instantaneous, it is more likely that the realization has built up over time and something you encountered in that moment triggered all the learning that led up to that point.

Are You Really Ready for a Change?

Have you found yourself saying, "I know things need to be different, but I do not know what to do to start making changes"? Or "I need a new direction," but you are not quite sure which path to go down, and then you place restrictions on how you approach the needed changes? The way you approach change determines the effectiveness of your efforts.

Some begin their search with a predetermined notion that is consistent with how things have always been. They search for the method or person that allows them to maintain their current view of themselves and their lives. When they hit upon something or someone that forces them to think differently, the approach is rejected.

Significant change requires nothing less than moving out of your comfort zone, challenging your beliefs, and the courage to make the necessary changes. If as you read that last sentence, you feel a tightness in your stomach and feel afraid at the thought of dumping all preconceptions about yourself and your life, then the question you really need to be asking is "Am I really ready to make the necessary changes that will bring me happiness?"

Here's the truth: making significant changes in your life is challenging, requiring commitment, honesty with yourself, and pushing yourself beyond your current thought process. When you are forced to consider a new perspective and have a big reaction to it-emotionally, physically, or mentally-it requires further examination.

In youth, changes happen faster and closer together. Progress is made with lots of small victories, and you learn about yourself along the way. As you approach forty years old, the tendency to stay in your comfort zone increases, and while the learning continues, the changes are fewer and farther between. Experiencing life-altering circumstances such as a death or divorce can move you forward or force you back, depending on your reaction to the situation. No matter what, these situations increase self-awareness.

With each piece of self-knowledge that is collected, you move up a notch in your development. Each shift puts you in a different mindset and brings you to a new level of understanding, ultimately requiring new strategies and a bigger push to get to the next level. The farther along you are on the path to self-awareness, the bigger the chasm between where you are and where you are trying to get. The time on the plateau creates complacency. It is easy to feel as though you have done the work and that you are where you should be, yet the Great Work of the self is never complete and affords you perpetual growth opportunities.

If you feel you have done the work and already know yourself, then monitor the questions you ask and the goals you set. Take note of when you look for the things that support your current view of yourself. Seek to move beyond where you have been. Read and listen to alternate perspectives, whether or not you agree with them, simply to expand your viewpoint. Change is imminent when you are uncomfortable and when nothing seems to work in your favor. Anxiety exponentially increases the closer you get to a major shift. When the transformation occurs, it is a relief, the weight is lifted, and you can see more clearly.

So are you ready to make a change?

The Pursuit of Happiness

Happiness is associated with meaning and purpose in one's life. There are numerous benefits of living a happy life. Think about times when you were depressed; often, they were followed by getting a cold. Now think about times when you had a period of happiness; you most likely did not become ill, but actually experienced a heightened sense of wellbeing and increased energy. When the world looks bright, there is excitement about what is around the next...