
Willpower
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Willpower is the handbook you need for success in all areas of your life. Regardless of what you want to achieve, you need the strength to persevere, forge ahead and keep going no matter how tough it gets. If you find that you allow weakness to take control of getting what you want in life, then you need this book.
Written by an expert psychologist and executive coach, these proven techniques are the missing ingredient for your new life of success.
* Learn the skills that lead to stronger willpower
* Develop new positive habits in just three weeks
* Overcome obstacles and break through barriers
* Find the success you want, and hold on to it long-term
Researchers have found that willpower is a better predictor of life and work success than IQ. It's the skill that keeps you moving ahead, blowing past barriers and smashing through any obstacle that dares threaten your progress. It may be the most important skill you ever learn, and your most valuable tool for personal and professional success.
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Person
Ros is a leading UK and international psychologist, executive coach, successful businesswoman, an accomplished author and a TV and radio presenter.
Ros travels the world developing the leadership potential of employees through the Just Leadership programme which she formulated. A creative academic, Ros is a chartered clinical psychologist, coach, trainer and regular speaker on the conference circuit. She has presented in the USA, Europe, and China and completed a lecture tour in Japan. Newspapers have described her variously as 'the guru of personal development' and 'the best motivational speaker heard this year'.
Ros has developed a unique style of coaching which achieves major insights and shifts in thinking as well as creating a vision for personal and business success. Ros draws on her background as a psychologist to facilitate creative strategies and move people on to become more than they would ever have believed possible.
Ros was named by The Independent on Sunday as one of the top 10 coaches in Britain. She broadcasts regularly on Radio and has presented a Social Science research programme 'Between Ourselves' for BBC Radio Scotland for two years. She was also a presenter for five years on a nightly television news programme. Other TV and Radio work include BBC radio and television, Scottish Television, GMTV, LWT, ITN News, Sky News, and Channel 4.
Ros features regularly in the national press and top magazines in her capacity as psychologist and advisor. She was one of the three key presenters in "Confidence Lab", ?a six part documentary for BBC2. It was her Transform programme which provided the basis for Confidence Lab. The book of the programme is called Confidence in Just Seven Days, (Vermillion 2001) and topped Amazon's bestseller list. Ros filmed "Confidence Zone", a coaching for confidence series for the BBC which is televised regularly on BBC2's Learning Zone.
She is the previous author of: Fast Track to the Top, a book about success and how to achieve it, was published by Kogan Page in January 2002. The Ultimate Book of Confidence Tricks was published by Vermillion in 2003 and is now available in many languages.
Transform Yourself has been updated and recently re-launched as The Complete Mind Makeover (Kogan Page). Another confidence book published by Penguin is part of their Work/ Life Series and called Developing Confidence. Confidence at Work was published in January 2011 by Kogan Page and deals with leadership and confidence. Her latest book, Creativity at Work, was published in July 2013.
Ros now has a team of consultants that she has trained to deliver her Just Leadership courses and One to One Executive Coaching programme. In 2009 she launched Corporate Coach International which is an accredited coaching school for those who want to become executive coaches. She is visiting professor at Strathclyde Business School focusing on leadership.
Content
Questionnaires x
The Stories x
Your Willpower Challenge xi
What's Inside xii
Final Thoughts xiv
Part One - The Essence of Willpower 1
Willpower Ingredients in Abby's Story 3
Directions for Completing the Willpower Scale 4
The Willpower Scale 5
Willpower Research 8
Willpower is a Game of Two Brains 11
Willpower is a Limited Resource . . . or is it? 17
New Research to Challenge Willpower as a Limited Resource 19
Mark Masson on Willpower and Health 21
Part Two - Goals and Vision 23
Why Goals? 23
Goal Planning 28
Your Willpower Goals 30
How You Learn 34
Motivation 43
A Theory of Motivation 44
Remember Your Goals 46
Inspiring You Toward Your Willpower Challenge 51
Part Three - New Habits for Old 55
Origins of Willpower with Graham Allen 57
Ego States 60
The Willpower Stage of Habit Formation 62
The Extinction Burst 64
Mini and Multiple Habits 68
Alternatively, Start Big 71
Becoming Failure Proof 72
Elite Performers and 10 000 Hours of Repetition 74
Good Habits Made Easy 77
Part Four - The Willpower Mindset 87
So How Can We All Acquire a Murray Mindset? 88
Reality Thinking 101
Externalise Your Thinking 103
Useful Thinking 104
Achieve a Willpower Mindset 105
Part Five - Willpower and Work 113
Self-Awareness 115
Skills for Business Success 120
Create: The Process for Organisational Change 137
Pilot 140
Launch 140
Coach 141
Evaluate 141
The Willpower of Your Own Business 142
How to Stick to Your Willpower Challenge at Work 152
Final Thoughts 155
Highlights 156
Acknowledgements 157
About the Author 159
Preface
Willpower is a series of recipes for willpower success seasoned with some inspirational case studies from adventurers, athletes, Paralympians, CEOs, teenagers and those who have struggled with addiction and adversity. Willpower is dissected and served up in bite-sized pieces so that you can use these tips in your own life for immediate effect.
Willpower is for everyone who wants to be successful in life and work: the unemployed person who wants a job, the graduate setting out on their career, the woman returner, the writer of their first book, the manager desiring to become a leader, the leader wanting to get to the board, the parent wanting to teach willpower to their children, the coach encouraging willpower in their clients
If you think willpower is a Victorian out-of-date concept, think again. Researchers have found that willpower is a better predictor of life and work success than IQ. Children with low willpower are four times more likely to have low-paying jobs, be overweight, have drug and alcohol problems, have short- rather than long-term relationships and have a criminal conviction.
So willpower is the very heartbeat of a successful, engaged and fulfilling life, and is not down to an accident of birth but a series of skills you can put into practice immediately with the help of this practical book.
This book is based on techniques that are known to work, so simply choose which relate to you and put them into practice. There is a three-week rule: try a new skill every day for three weeks and repeat for nine to turn it into a habit.
This book is self-help for self-control.
QUESTIONNAIRES
I have included in each part of the book a number of questionnaires and checklists to gauge how much willpower you have, how you utilise goals, whether you are an optimist or pessimist, or even knowing if you could have the willpower to become an entrepreneur.
Where some established measures have been lengthy, I have shortened them. There is nothing worse than wading through 370 questions when you get the same result with a dozen. Where there is nothing on the market, I have conceived the questionnaires myself and tested them on my clients before you. No person was harmed in this endeavour.
My rationale for these tests is that I want you to become an expert in your own willpower: understanding your strengths and willpower glitches. With that knowledge, you will be that much more successful in negotiating the ups and downs of getting to where you want to be. Knowing when you generally give in to temptation gives you advance warning to initiate your "plan to fail plan".
THE STORIES
A major part of this book is the stories we collected from a diverse group of people selected for their willpower and remarkable achievements.
- Judy Murray talks about her sons' willpower to become winners and her own to continue to coach women's tennis with few resources.
- Jamie Andrew, quadruple amputee, tells us about returning to challenges like the London Marathon and climbing Kilimanjaro.
- Phil Howard, Michelin star chef, discusses the pressures of the job, his drug addiction and how an exercise habit replaced his drug habit.
- Neil Fachie, gold medal-winning Paralympian cyclist, tells about his preparations for the Rio Olympics.
- Justine Roberts, founder and CEO of Mumsnet, talks about the delayed gratification of running your own business.
- Julie Ashmore, business woman and mother of two, shares her adventuring stories of going to both North and South Poles.
- Gordon Baker, CEO of JMT Consultants, discusses the limitations of willpower at work and what you need to be successful. His son Jamie also recounts his story about the power of visualisation.
- Sir Richard Greenbury, former Chairman and CEO of Marks and Spencer, advises what will help you get to the top of an organisation.
- Julian Richer, CEO of Richer Sounds, really grasps the nature of motivation at work and shares his methods.
- Dame Stella Rimington, former Director General of MI5, discusses confidence and its place in getting to the top.
- Charlie Mullins, plumber extraordinaire, shares his joy in owning his own business and the willpower it takes to be successful.
- Mark Masson, specialist recruiter, recounts his fight with cancer and the part willpower played in his recovery.
- Todd Whiteford, who had testicular cancer but decided to run in the Marathon des Sables between his surgery and chemotherapy, provides us with the story and the outcome.
- Abby, a social phobic who had to be schooled at home, tells us what prised her from the house and how willpower helped her get her life back.
- Grace Boyle, an alcoholic, describes how the help of Alcoholics Anonymous and willpower brought her back from the brink.
- Iain Somerside, GB rowing coach, talks about the willpower mindset which creates Olympian winners.
- Turly Humphrey, founder and CEO of Circle Sports, talks about her organisation which helps unemployed young people achieve jobs.
- Graham Allen, Member of Parliament for Nottingham North, tells us about his work on the "Early Years" project and the difference interventions can make to generations of lives.
YOUR WILLPOWER CHALLENGE
I would like you to take the opportunity to pursue a Willpower Challenge or indeed Challenges of your own as you read the book. Your Challenge may be:
- A dream you might have had for some time but may have lacked confidence or time to pursue. It might be skydiving, parachute jumping, adventuring to unusual places or going to university or college to pursue further education.
- Something meaningful in your life, like raising money for a charitable cause, a test of endurance or "staying alive" - as one of our willpower interviewees admitted as he coped with a terminal disease.
- A habit you want to break - smoking, alcohol, drugs or overeating. You may have tried before to overcome a behaviour and even been partially successful, then returned to your old ways. Make this the time to be successful for all time.
- A habit you want to establish - for example, healthy eating, an exercise regime, a better sleep pattern, a calmer demeanour, an interest in people around you.
- A desire to win in a sport of your choice, perhaps to Olympic standard or for social and personal enjoyment. We certainly meet a plethora of impressive sports personalities and coaches in succeeding pages.
- Promotion at work demands willpower and a variety of skills. Learn the leadership skills suggested by top CEOs and start to become more successful at work.
- Start your own business. Discover if you have the willpower necessary to be an entrepreneur and hear from others who have made that leap and their journey to success.
WHAT'S INSIDE
Part One: The Essence of Willpower
This title sounds a bit like a scent - but willpower can't be sprayed on, inhaled or handed to someone else to do it for you. It is you in charge of you.
Part One reviews willpower research and comes to the conclusion that the "muscle" analogy, much utilised by researchers and psychologists in the past, does not fit with recent experiments. So I re-examine the latest thinking to help you achieve willpower.
There are inspirational stories from a young girl who had been confined to her house for four years before emerging using amazing willpower, amputees who are back adventuring, the ill or damaged who have willed themselves back to life. If they can do that, what could you do?
So, the essence of willpower is about how you harness your self-control to get where you want to go, and this part of the book helps you start to understand how to do that.
Part Two: Goals and Vision
Goals and Vision will help you address your own Willpower Challenges, working out what is meaningful for you to achieve, turning your dreams into goals. How you do that with goal planning, as well as how you implement these goals, is assessed and discussed.
Working on the steps to your goals and visualising them have been shown to increase positive outcomes, so there are some great stories around the power of visualisation with instructions for you to gain the same outcomes.
How you like to learn should guide you in choosing the "how" of pursuing your goals: should that be in a group with others, by reading and understanding, by practical steps or by experimentation? Understanding your learning preferences increases the likelihood of willpower success.
Part Three: New Habits for Old
At least 50% of what we do is down to habit. And our habits are established early on in our lives, copied from our parents or parent substitutes. If that knowledge fills you with dread, as the way your parents behaved is not how you want to be, help is at hand. I outline how habits are established and how bad ones can be changed and replaced with better versions. The purpose of willpower is a drive towards useful habits so that you achieve long-term success with your Willpower Challenge.
If you want to become the best in class for a skill, there is advice on how to achieve that as...
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