Stepmomming Made Easy
Description
Step up to stepmomming with confidence with proven, expert advice from a Certified Stepparent Coach
In Stepmomming Made Easy: Strategies, Tools, and Everything Else You Need to Know, Certified Stepparent Coach Kristen Skiles delivers an inspiring and practical walkthrough of how to find peace, happiness, and fulfillment in your blended family. The author explains the roles of the various players involved in the blended family experience, and she shares hands-on strategies and mindsets that will help you adapt to your new role as a stepmom.
You'll explore the six key steps to a lasting, fulfilling life as a stepmom: developing an attitude of self-worth, defining your stepmom role, discovering balanced self-fulfillment, building an unshakeable relationship with your partner, taking back control, and finding a community that truly gets it.
You'll also find:
- Strategies to help you recognize your emotional needs and set boundaries
- Techniques to generate "quick wins" near the beginning of your relationship, including ways to protect your core values and create realistic house rules
- Insightful discussions of how stepfamilies are different from nuclear families and why they require a different approach
Perfect for new, soon-to-be, and struggling stepmoms looking for support and opportunities to build important skills, Stepmomming Made Easy is also a can't-miss resource for counselors, marriage coaches, partners, and anyone else involved-on a personal or professional level-with a blended family.
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KRISTEN SKILES is a certified stepparent coach and the founder of stepmomming.com, where she helps stepmoms navigate their complex roles in blended families. Skiles has coached hundreds of clients and educated thousands through her business and social channels. She also hosts the Stepmomming Made Easy podcast.
Content
About the Author vii
Acknowledgments viii
Foreword ix
Introduction 1
Chapter 1 Perspectives 3
Your Partner's Perspective 4
The Other Parent's Perspective 8
Your Stepchild's Perspective 14
Your Perspective as the Stepmom 18
Chapter 2 Quick Wins 27
Protecting Your Core Values 28
House Rules and Family Meetings 36
Your New Daily Routine 43
Chapter 3 The Forever Formula for Stepmoms 51
Basic Review of the Six Steps of the Forever Formula 52
The Top Three Priorities for a Stepmom 53
Chapter 4 Develop an Attitude of Self-Worth 55
Mourning the Loss of the Future You Envisioned 56
Overcoming Second-Spouse Insecurities 58
You're a Great Stepmom! 66
Chapter 5 Define an Authentic Role 73
A Stepfamily's Dynamics are Fundamentally Different 75
Shifting from Outsider to Insider 79
Understanding and Resolving Guilt 83
The Four Types of People Who Say "Yes" When They Want to Say "No" 84
Relational Reciprocity and Stepping Back 89
Beliefs and Defining Your Role 97
Bonding with Your Stepchildren and Discipline 102
Chapter 6 Balance Self-Fulfillment 113
Resolving Resentment 114
Rediscovering Your Identity 118
Overcoming Burnout 121
Chapter 7 Cultivate an Unshakable Relationship 125
How to Pick Your Battles 126
The Art of Kind Communication 129
Mastering the Five Love Languages 132
The Reminder You Didn't Know You Needed 142
Habits for a Healthy Relationship 146
Relationship Pitfalls to Avoid 148
Communicating Through Conflict and Finding Compromise 151
Saying "I'm Sorry" in Your Partner's Apology Language 160
Chapter 8 Command Confident Control 167
Embracing Your Control 169
The Basics of Boundaries 176
Structuring Impenetrable Boundaries 182
Ex-Free Zone and Other Ex-Related Boundaries 186
Establish Transition Rituals 189
Stop Living 100% of Your Life 50% of the Time 191
Chapter 9 Seek Validating Support 195
The Importance of a Support Network 196
How to Find Other Stepmoms to Connect With 199
Chapter 10 Go Live a Stepmom Life You Love 203
References 205
Index 209
