
Is This Anything?
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Since his first performance at the legendary New York nightclub Catch a Rising Star as a twenty-one-year-old student in autumn of 1975, Jerry Seinfeld has written his own material and saved everything. 'Whenever I came up with a funny bit, whether it happened on a stage, in a conversation, or working it out on my preferred canvas - the big yellow legal pad - I kept it in one of those old-school accordion folders,' Seinfeld writes. 'So I have everything I thought was worth saving from forty-five years of hacking away at this for all I was worth.'
For this book, Jerry Seinfeld has selected his favourite material, organised decade by decade. In page after hilarious page, one brilliantly crafted observation after another, readers will witness the evolution of one of the great comedians of our time and gain new insights into the thrilling but unforgiving art of writing stand-up comedy.
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Content
- Intro
- Title Page
- The Seventies
- 1. The Left Bit
- 2. Bumper Cars
- 3. Cotton Balls
- 4. Dogs in Cars
- 5. Life Cereal
- 6. Parakeet Mirror
- 7. Roosevelt Island Tramway
- 8. Superman TV Show
- 9. Dogs Vote
- 10. Disneyland
- 11. Dad's Thermostat
- 12. Parents Look Like
- 13. Adult Pockets
- 14. Pajamas
- 15. Ruin Appetite
- 16. The Frigidaire Building
- 17. First Wallet
- 18. Jawbreakers
- 19. Shoe Store Walk
- 20. Cub Scouts
- 21. Swiss Army Knife
- 22. Gym Class
- 23. 75% Body Heat
- 24. Parent Boss
- 25. Mom's Walls
- 26. Skydive at 19
- 27. Red Metal Horses
- 28. Skydiving Helmet
- 29. Scuba Dying
- 30. Sister Married
- 31. Coming Out to My Parents
- 32. Father Sofa
- 33. Toilet Roll with a Hat
- 34. The Parakeet Life
- 35. Cold Cereal
- 36. Grape-Nuts
- 37. Cereal Serving Suggestion
- 38. Cookie Crisp
- 39. Void Where Prohibited
- 40. Proof of Purchase
- 41. Enough Jokes
- 42. Parents Comedians?
- 43. Sock Closet
- 44. The Sock Escape
- 45. The Sock Left Behind
- 46. Smokers Win Arguments
- 47. Vivian Is Back
- 48. Notary Public
- 49. Lobster Tank
- 50. Piano Store
- 51. Visual Security
- 52. Vague
- 53. Pay Phone Call
- 54. Left Turn Okay
- 55. Political Mascots
- 56. Unemployed
- 57. The 'New York Times'
- 58. Eyewitness News
- 59. Watching News
- 60. TV Cooking
- 61. The Prisoners of Inertia
- 62. Cops/Posse
- 63. Professional Football
- 64. Time Save
- 65. Oscar Mayer
- 66. Plants
- 67. Dead Pillow
- 68. Telephone Sales
- 69. Desk Family Pictures
- 70. Sweepstakes Letter
- 71. Hallmark Greeting Cards
- 72. Date Job Interview
- 73. Movie Theaters
- 74. Movie Candy
- 75. Personal Maintenance
- 76. Deodorant Soap
- 77. The Last Soap Sliver
- 78. Men's Room
- 79. Facial Quality
- 80. Cologne Set
- 81. In Sickness
- 82. Have Kids
- 83. A Giant On-Off Switch
- 84. It's That Guy
- 85. Parking Lots
- The Eighties
- 86. Friendly Pilot Chit Chat
- 87. Keys to the Plane
- 88. Stewardess Emergency Equipment Show
- 89. Airport Cart People
- 90. Airplane Bathroom
- 91. Airport Tuna Sandwich
- 92. Airport X-Ray
- 93. Drugs at Customs
- 94. Plane Crash
- 95. Distance by Time
- 96. Hotels
- 97. Hotel Fire
- 98. Hawaii License Plate
- 99. Northeast Guy
- 100. Cow's Leather
- 101. Public Speaking
- 102. Neil Armstrong's Toothbrush
- 103. Monkey Astronauts
- 104. Get Candy
- 105. Halloween/Candy
- 106. Braces Glasses
- 107. Bugs Going?
- 108. Did Comets Kill the Dinosaurs?
- 109. Fun for the Whole Family
- 110. Ancient Cultures
- 111. Air Inside Outside
- 112. New Mexico
- 113. Magician
- 114. Bullet Catch
- 115. McDonald's Sign
- 116. My Doctor Recommendation
- 117. Pharmacist Two Feet Up
- 118. Supermarket Impulse Buy
- 119. Supermarket Rubber Dividers
- 120. Milk After the Day
- 121. Milk Monitor
- 122. Coffee World
- 123. Mr. Coffee
- 124. Post Office Annoyed
- 125. Post Office Wanted Posters
- 126. Newspapers Perfect Fit
- 127. Execution Style
- 128. Earthquake
- 129. The Button
- 130. Campaign '88
- 131. Moose Air Lift
- 132. Foam Balls
- 133. Stand by Me
- 134. Star Trek
- 135. Talk Show Host
- 136. TV Flip
- 137. TV Sleep
- 138. We Have Soda
- 139. Movie Plot
- 140. Armrest Battle
- 141. Movie Employee Age Gap
- 142. Movie-TV
- 143. Batman Crooks
- 144. Crook Head Protect
- 145. Crook Life
- 146. Crook Reputation
- 147. Chalk Outline Guy
- 148. Florida Law
- 149. Old People Drive
- 150. Parent Ducklings
- 151. Dad Trunks/Fashion Advice
- 152. Mom Drives
- 153. Old Men Love Heat
- 154. Kotex Lady
- 155. Got Old
- 156. Car-tastic
- 157. New Car Steering Wheel
- 158. Sneezing Driving
- 159. Traffic Lane Experts
- 160. Leaving Car
- 161. Car Alarm
- 162. Padded Ignition Key
- 163. NYC Cab
- 164. Pickup Trucks
- 165. Sports Enthusiasm
- 166. Rooting for Laundry
- 167. The Silver Medal
- 168. The Platforms of Humiliation
- 169. Biathlon
- 170. Platform Diving
- 171. The Involuntary Luge
- 172. Pedestrian Rodeo
- 173. Call Waiting
- 174. Phone Machine
- 175. Cell Phone Speech
- 176. Paint Apartment
- 177. Toaster Room
- 178. Diet
- 179. Restaurant Check Timing
- 180. Nightclub of Clothes
- 181. Dry Cleaning
- 182. Dry Clean Only
- 183. Gentle Cycle
- 184. Engaged
- 185. Commitment
- 186. Mozzarella Relationships
- 187. Cheating
- 188. Friends After Dating
- 189. Baby Life
- 190. Bachelor Party and Bridal Shower
- 191. Bad Gifts
- 192. Touch Face Relationship
- 193. Sperm and Egg
- 194. Pet Monkey
- 195. Date End
- 196. Shower World
- 197. Shower Radio
- 198. I'm Naked
- 199. Women Try On
- 200. The Chicks and the Checks
- 201. Men's Physical World
- 202. Superhero Men
- 203. Men's Minds
- 204. Phone Control/Sex Control
- The Nineties
- 205. First Aid
- 206. Museum Security Guards
- 207. Men's Jobs
- 208. Psychiatrist
- 209. Money
- 210. Office Space
- 211. The Casual Heil
- 212. Malls
- 213. Really Bad Traffic
- 214. Parking Garage
- 215. Future Outfits
- 216. Maid
- 217. A Little Hair
- 218. Alone in the Bathroom
- 219. Alcatraz Faucets
- 220. Missed Flight
- 221. Horse Racing
- 222. Glue Factory
- 223. Horseback
- 224. Horsepower
- 225. Horse Trailer
- 226. Pony
- 227. Nose Job
- 228. Mad Cow
- 229. Drugstore
- 230. Doctor's Waiting Room
- 231. May Contain
- 232. Chock Full o'Nuts
- 233. Improved Tide
- 234. Chopsticks
- 235. Cannibalism
- 236. People Owner's Manual
- 237. Favor
- 238. Men's Attention
- 239. Beauty Contest
- 240. Pocketbooks
- 241. Flower Power
- 242. Always Friends
- 243. Thin, Single, and Neat
- 244. Baby Visit
- 245. Night Guy/Morning Guy
- The Double O's
- 246. Doing Nothing
- 247. Weddings
- 248. Divorce
- 249. Live Together
- 250. Commitment/Rejection
- 251. Marriage Chess
- 252. Married/Single
- 253. A Wife Is an Extra Head
- 254. Tone
- 255. Relationship Underwear
- 256. Blind Sight
- 257. Lip Liner
- 258. No Important Calls
- 259. *69
- 260. BlackBerry Relation-Chips
- 261. ~Links
- 262. Facebook
- 263. Twitter
- 264. Preferency People
- 265. Repeat Story
- 266. Blowing Smoke
- 267. Non-Statements
- 268. Coffee Says
- 269. Coffee Break
- 270. Alcoholic Coffee Drinks
- 271. 5-Hour Energy Drink
- 272. Cold Beer
- 273. Orange Juice
- 274. Almond Milk
- 275. Pizza Hut
- 276. Raisin Bran
- 277. Haggar Slacks
- 278. Cookies
- 279. Gym
- 280. The Chair
- 281. The Strip
- 282. Earpiece
- 283. The Crisis
- 284. No News
- 285. Old News
- 286. Break-in
- 287. Weather Girls
- 288. Sports Watch
- 289. Gambling in Vegas
- 290. Cremation
- 291. Glad Sandwich Bags
- 292. Nose Hair
- 293. Itching, Burning and Redness
- 294. Suicide Bomber
- 295. Terrorist Monkey Bars
- 296. Slightly Nazi
- 297. Car Horn
- 298. Directions Voice
- 299. OnStar
- 300. Opposite Clothes
- 301. Liberace
- 302. Movie Garbage
- 303. Grip
- 304. Public Restroom
- 305. All Awards Are Stupid
- 306. The Audience Decides
- 307. Your Job
- 308. The Offensive Brain
- 309. Everything Is Garbage
- 310. DNA
- 311. Conceived
- 312. Baby Born
- 313. Baby Products
- 314. Birthday Clown
- 315. Birthday Kids Jumpy Castle
- 316. Circus
- 317. Annoying Line
- 318. Family Member Stickers
- 319. Daddy's Home
- 320. Golf
- 321. Kids in Bed
- 322. The Idea of Dad
- 323. Thank You Monkey
- 324. Mob Boss
- 325. Other Kids over My House
- 326. Star Wars
- 327. Sucks and Great
- The Teens
- 328. Annoying Friends
- 329. Out
- 330. Ready
- 331. Marriage Happy
- 332. Two Things
- 333. Dogs Playing Poker
- 334. Men as Dogs
- 335. Guard Gate Filtration System
- 336. Look Fat
- 337. Marriage Kit
- 338. Childhood 1960s
- 339. Good Humor
- 340. Parent Style
- 341. Piñata
- 342. Gutter Ball
- 343. A Marriage Moment
- 344. Dual Zone Climate Control
- 345. Just Honks
- 346. Family Vacation
- 347. Vacation Me
- 348. Zip Line
- 349. Stand-Up Paddle Board
- 350. The Jet Ski
- 351. Father's Day
- 352. Dad Is a Helium Balloon
- 353. Kids Don't Want Parents
- 354. 99% of the Brain
- 355. Pop-Tarts
- 356. All You Can Eat
- 357. Swanson TV Dinner
- 358. The Raisin
- 359. The Weight Problem
- 360. Donut Holes
- 361. Offer Drinks
- 362. Hydrate
- 363. Tired
- 364. Sleep Aids and Coffee
- 365. The Out Thing
- 366. Coming Down Your Aisle
- 367. The Finger
- 368. Prison
- 369. Get the Hell Out
- 370. Your Place
- 371. Work Home Plane
- 372. Got to Go
- 373. Conversations Week
- 374. Life Is Too Long
- 375. Special Event
- 376. In the City, On the Island
- 377. Social Species
- 378. It Is What It Is
- 379. Phony Siri Manners
- 380. Travel Safe
- 381. Solitary Confinement
- 382. Device Dictatorship
- 383. Gay French King
- 384. Half Myself/Half Phone
- 385. Uber
- 386. Talking Faces
- 387. Text Commercial
- 388. Text
- 389. Just the "K"
- 390. Ghosty Dots
- 391. Email/Post Office
- 392. First Camera Phone
- 393. Mom Gang
- 394. Golf Whisper
- 395. Other Whispers
- 396. Tattoo
- 397. We're Living in Filth
- 398. NYC Awning
- 399. The NY Faux Courtesy Jog
- 400. In My 60s
- 401. I Don't Turn Around
- 402. Knife Through a Shoe
- 403. Your Show/Unexpected
- 404. Human Being Business
- 405. More Babies
- 406. Cemetery
- 407. Tweet Means Tweet
- 408. Corona Kamikaze
- 409. Pre-Existing Conditions
- 410. A Spongy Life
- 411. Died Doing
- 412. Plastic Bathroom
- 413. Flex Seal
- Acknowledgments
- About the Author
- Index
- Copyright
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