How Not to Teach
Description
If you thought reading Gervaise Phinn was like drinking a warm cup of tea this book will knock you over with the force of a vodka slammer. Mr Read survives the nightmare of planning, Ofsted and an incompetent head ... He also takes the class to Ireland, the House of Commons and wins a film award. We guarantee Christmas Lights, The School Trip and Stressbusters will make you laugh out loud. A searing indictment of our joyless, exam ridden primary curriculum... 'it will take a bareknuckle fight to save its soul.'
Down-to-earth and outrageously funny, this guide will prove essential reading for all teachers everywhere.
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Content
1. The heirs of M-Choakumchild- Introduction
2. Some history - How did it ever come to this?
3. - Drowning Not Waving -teaching in an "economically challenged" area"
Autumn
4. Snake Oil - Accelerated Learning a new fad
5. A Local School for Local People - starting a new year
6. Not the Caine Mutiny - the headteacher leaves
7. Guided Reading - a boring LEA training session
8. The stretch limo and Prince Charles' aide - stars for a day
9. The One-Armed Bandit - some of the odd supply teachers who come into school
10. Brian - a pupil I'll never forget
11. A normal afternoon - inclusion isn't working
12. Teaching Awards - not greeted with universal enthusiasm
13. The ICT lesson from hell - a trip out to the local CLC
14. Christmas Lights - the choir sing in town, it pours with rain, and the teaching assistant's car gets broken into...
Spring
15. Reasons to be Cheerful - songs to lighten the mood
16. This is your flight attendant -classroom assistants as teachers
17. Help! I'm an ICT Co-ordinator - problems with ICT
18. Literacy Planning - another disastrous training event
19. How Miss Perfect Lost Her Smile - Briony can't quite handle my class
20. I'm Bobby Charlton - P.E.
21. Luminous Green Snot - why teachers take sick leave
22. The Play script - a lesson that went wrong
23. The winding road from Ballysomething - our trip to Ireland
24. Nothing sacks faster - The Woodhead Years as advertising slogans
25. Hello! -ICT awards
26. Ten things that are wrong with the Literacy Hour
27. The File of files - why paperwork is destroying teaching
28. Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Fuhrer - why they can't get headteachers
Summer
29. Stressbusters - an unusual staff meeting
30. 'A quiet rural location' - what the adverts really mean
31. A consultant calls - someone else who can't hack my class
32. Let them eat marrow - school dinners
33. Looking down the barrel of a shotgun - our school gets inspected
34. The Heart of Darkness - the problem with SATs
35. The icing on the cake - the TES Newsday
36. Bill's New Frock - I get to dress up
37. "Are we nearly there yet?"-The School Trip
38. Moving On - the interview that didn't succeed
39. Recharging the batteries - the end of term
Conclusion
40. The road to Hull ...