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One More Identity

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.

-Andy Warhol

IN MANY WAYS, RESHAPING YOUR IDENTITY IS THE MOST FUNDAMENTAL CONCEPT of what it means to be a One More thinker and doer.

Your identity is a powerful and influential driver that governs outcomes in all parts of your life. Identity defines the limits of your success, finances, and achievements. It controls the quality of your emotions, relationships, and self-worth.

What exactly is identity? I define it as the thoughts, concepts, and beliefs we hold as the most genuine parts of our inner being. You can put on a face or act a certain way for the rest of the world, but you can't lie to yourself when it comes to these things. Deep inside, you know what's true about you.

Put another way, identity is this: What we perceive about ourselves is what we believe about ourselves.

Here's the paradox about identity. Many people know they could improve their lives significantly if they changed their identity. However, many people aren't willing to take the necessary steps, even when it's in their own best interests.

Are you willing to sacrifice who you are for who you could be? The answer should be a resounding "Yes!" That's a logical conclusion and sounds obvious, so it's a mystery why lots of people struggle with this fundamental question. You weren't put on this Earth to be a bump on a log, or a lump of coal in the ground. Your mission is to keep growing, expanding, and learning to lead a full and happy life. When you do these things, your identity will change.

Identity is so important because it unlocks so many other amazing things in your life. When you create a One More identity, you give yourself the gift of taking control by dictating internal messages instead of being governed by external forces that have been undermining your happiness, possibly since the day you were born.

Your Identity Is Shaped Early in Childhood

As a child, you were a blank canvas. You were impressionable, happy, and accepting.

You had no reason to believe the external world was out to hurt you in any way. Gradually, you learned to function in the world based on what you were taught by your parents, family members, friends, teachers, and others with whom you came in contact.

Of course, many people were well intentioned. However, that doesn't mean what they taught you was always right. The fact is, nobody is ever always right. As a child, you accepted much of what you were told, right or wrong. Your identity became the good and the bad parts of how other people influenced you. The unfortunate thing is that you were defenseless. Your critical thinking skills did not exist to give you the tools you needed to survive in the world.

As you grew older, you began to confirm your identity. If someone said you weren't a good student or a lousy athlete, that became a part of your identity. You still didn't have the capacity to disavow what you were being told. You grew into adulthood, and you carried with you these beliefs about yourself. Your identity had taken root. Your limitations became a part of you, and because they were so ingrained, you weren't even sure where they came from.

That's a lot of baggage to lug around, isn't it?

By the time you were old enough and able to question your identity, you were living with the identity you had adopted at a time when you didn't have a choice. Of course, this assumes you're even aware of how your identity impacts you. Many people simply go through life, screwed up and unsuccessful, and never quite knowing why.

However, as a One More thinker, you are now aware, and you can change your identity once you become intentional about it. Here's how.

Adjusting Your Identity Thermostat

I've touched briefly on your identity thermostat in the past, but now I want to give you more details on how this concept can work on your behalf.

Your identity is the force that governs your life and regulates your results. Think of it like a thermostat. Your internal thermostat sets the conditions of your life.

You walk into a room, and if it's too hot or too cold, you look for a thermostat to adjust the temperature to what you like. It doesn't matter what the external conditions are. The temperature can be 100 degrees outside, but if the thermostat is set for 75 degrees, it kicks on, and the air conditioning cools down the temperature and regulates the environment. The same applies when it's 30 degrees outside. The thermostat kicks in and warms your surroundings to 75 degrees.

Your life works exactly the same way. If you're a 75-degree person, you turn on the air conditioners of your life and cool it back down to what you think you're worth. This is what happens every time your results begin to exceed your identity. You unconsciously turn on the air conditioners of your life and cool it back down to what you believe you deserve.

Much like a thermostat, your identity regulates your internal self-worth. It regulates your actions and results. Many people are under the false assumption that external factors are what regulates your thermostat. They believe that getting a promotion, getting married to the love of your life, or getting an advanced degree from college determines their identity.

If you don't raise your identity, then eventually you will turn the air conditioning of your life on sooner or later, and that temperature will drop back down to 75 degrees, or some other setting you don't want, simply because you didn't take charge and decide what identity you wanted.

However, if your thermostat is set the right way, it will transcend conditions and you will find success no matter what the external conditions are.

The truth is that you can acquire all the talents, skills, and abilities you want, but until they align with your identity, you'll fall short of the goals you've set. That applies across the board.

For example, think about your fitness identity. Let's suppose you lost 20 pounds at one time in your life. Despite being armed with the best weight-loss recipes or workout regimens, a year later, you added all that weight back on and you're right where you started. That's because, when your fitness identity thermostat is set at 75 degrees, it means you're comfortable carrying 20 extra pounds, and try as you might, you'll always drift back to that 75-degree setting.

You can take all the right actions with diet and exercise, but if your internal thermostat is not set for success and remains at 75 degrees, eventually you'll drift back to your old thermostat setting by eating the wrong food or falling out of a solid workout regimen. You'll use external circumstances to find ways to cool you back down to what your internal circumstances believe you're worth.

Here's another example. Maybe you're doing well financially, but you can't seem to get to that next level of wealth you think you deserve. You may want $10 million in the bank. However, until you turn up your thermostat to believe your identity is worth $10 million, even if you make that much money, your thermostat will eventually cool you off to what your identity believes you are worth. It may take a few years, but eventually, unless you change that internal thermostat, you'll start to experience financial setbacks.

Chances are these types of situations and many others are something you've experienced.

There's no shortage of information, coaching, or paths to success in any part of your life. So it follows, the barriers to success are found inside of you. That is why you can do all the right things and still not get the results you wanted.

Remember this key point! Unconsciously, we always find a way to get back to where our thermostat is set based on what we think we're worth.

Simply put, you can't achieve 100 degrees of fitness or wealth with a thermostat set for 75 degrees of fitness or wealth. Your thermostat boxes you in until you can create a new identity that triggers growth and change.

This isn't to say that you can't achieve success, because you will in many cases. However, unless you adjust your identity, down the road, your thermostat will bring you back to where your identity is set.

Typically, most people blame external forces when this happens. Do these examples sound familiar?

I tweaked my back and couldn't work out for eight weeks, and then I lost interest in getting fit.

The economy turned, and I lost a ton of money in the stock market, so I gave up on my dream of being worth $10 million.

If your thermostat isn't set high enough, you'll see these as coincidences, karma, or bad luck that conspired against you. But that's not what they are. If your thermostat is set high enough, these are little more than temporary setbacks.

However, the difference between you as a One More person and everyone else is that you will view these as speedbumps on the road to your goals. You won't use temporary setbacks as an excuse to create permanent failures. You'll have the grit it takes to gravitate to where your thermostat is set, and eventually, you'll rise to that temperature.

Remember, as a One More person,...