Baby's First Tattoo
A Memory Book for Modern Parents
1st Edition
Published on 25. September 2012
80 pages
978-1-4767-0961-1 (ISBN)
Description
MILLIONS OF PEOPLE THINK CHILDREN ARE THE CUTEST,
CUDDLIEST, MOST WONDERFUL, SAINTLY CREATURES
IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.
THESE PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN.
THEY HAVE NICE THINGS. THEY COLLECT FRAGILE POTTERY. THEY HAVE CANDLELIT DINNERS IN FANCY RESTAURANTS. THEY GO TO MOVIES. THEY HAVE WHITE CARPETS.
PEOPLE WITH SMALL CHILDREN HAVEN'T BEEN TO A RESTAURANT WITHOUT
PLASTIC SILVERWARE IN YEARS. THE LAST MOVIE THEY SAW IN A THEATER IS NOW
ON AMERICAN MOVIE CLASSICS. THEIR HOUSE LOOKS LIKE IT WAS
DECORATED BY PEE-WEE HERMAN.
BABY'S FIRST TATTOO IS FOR THEM.
For years parents have been buying baby books to document all the precious moments in their new baby's life -- Baby's First Tooth, Baby's First Haircut, Baby's First Step. What have been ignored for too long are those "alternative" precious moments that really should be written down, celebrated, and remembered -- Baby's First Projectile Vomit, Baby's First Tantrum in a Crowded Grocery Store, Baby's 10,000th Dirty Diaper. Otherwise you might forget them and think of becoming parents once again.
CUDDLIEST, MOST WONDERFUL, SAINTLY CREATURES
IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.
THESE PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN.
THEY HAVE NICE THINGS. THEY COLLECT FRAGILE POTTERY. THEY HAVE CANDLELIT DINNERS IN FANCY RESTAURANTS. THEY GO TO MOVIES. THEY HAVE WHITE CARPETS.
PEOPLE WITH SMALL CHILDREN HAVEN'T BEEN TO A RESTAURANT WITHOUT
PLASTIC SILVERWARE IN YEARS. THE LAST MOVIE THEY SAW IN A THEATER IS NOW
ON AMERICAN MOVIE CLASSICS. THEIR HOUSE LOOKS LIKE IT WAS
DECORATED BY PEE-WEE HERMAN.
BABY'S FIRST TATTOO IS FOR THEM.
For years parents have been buying baby books to document all the precious moments in their new baby's life -- Baby's First Tooth, Baby's First Haircut, Baby's First Step. What have been ignored for too long are those "alternative" precious moments that really should be written down, celebrated, and remembered -- Baby's First Projectile Vomit, Baby's First Tantrum in a Crowded Grocery Store, Baby's 10,000th Dirty Diaper. Otherwise you might forget them and think of becoming parents once again.
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Other editions
Additional editions
Book
05/2002
Simon & Schuster
€14.50
Shipment within 10-20 days
Persons
Barry Blitt's illustrations have appeared on more than eighty New Yorker covers and have also graced the pages of The New York Times and Entertainment Weekly. He is the illustrator of Once Upon a Time, the End (Asleep in 60 Seconds) by Geoffrey Koske and The Adventures of Mark Twain by Huckleberry Finn by Robert Burleigh, as well as other picture books. He lives in Roxbury, Connecticut.
Content
- Intro
- Introduction
- The Day Baby Was Born
- Baby's Statistics
- Baby's Circumcision
- Baby's First Visitors
- The Day Baby Came Home
- Baby's First Name
- What Not to Name the Baby
- For Juniors Only
- Announcements
- Mementos
- Baby's First Diaper
- Baby's First Locomotion
- How Baby's Parents Met
- Baby's Family Tree
- TV Shows Baby's Appeared On
- Siblings
- Grandparents
- Special People in Baby's Life
- Disciplining the Problem Grandparents
- Wildly Inappropriate Gifts Grandparents Are Not Allowed to Bring in the House
- Baby's Sleep
- Parents' Sleep
- How Long It Took Baby to Figure Out How to Get Out of
- Adventure Land
- Last Time Mom and Dad Had Sex
- Our Neighborhood
- Breast-Feeding
- Baby's Favorite Food
- Baby's First Web Page
- Pictures . . .
- Baby's Progress
- Not So Precious Moments
- Baby's Regress
- First Trip to Gramps and Grammy's
- The Stuff We Have to Carry with Us Every Single Goddamn Place We Go Checklist
- The Stuff We Forget to Carry with Us Every Single Goddamn Place We Go Checklist
- Baby's First Words
- Baby's First Baby-Sitter
- Baby's Childhood Diseases
- Baby's Medicines
- Baby's Life-Threatening, Attention-Getting, Conversation-Monopolizing Allergies
- Baby Expenses
- Things Mommy and Daddy Fight About All the Time
- Baby's Potty Training
- Baby's First Pet
- Baby's First Day Care Center
- School Days
- Growing Pains
- Baby's Big Blue Baby-Sitter
- Messages Baby Gets from Television
- Baby's First Trip to the Store
- The Birds and the Bees
- Do You Have a Gifted Child?
- Does Your Child Have a Learning Disability?
- Does Your Child Have Attention Deficit Disorder?
- Do You Have a Pretty Much Average Kid?
- The Parent Bubble
- What Parents Talk About with Their Friends Now
- What They Used to Talk About
- Words of Wisdom
- for New Parents
- About Jim Mullen and Barry Blitt
- Copyright
