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The Mindset for Leading Effectively from the Middle

The mental approach required to be a successful manager from the middle is unlike any other in the field of leadership. With daily exposure to such a wide range of employees, peers, and bosses with so many individual wants, needs, problems, aspirations, and insecurities, and so many hats to be worn (as you saw in Chapter 1), a different mindset is a must. I'm excited to offer you just that, a powerful mindset born from decades of research and experience and discerned from other mental approaches for its consideration of the unique conditions those who lead from the middle must operate in.

The Others-Oriented Leadership Mindset

The most effective mindset for leading from the middle is what I call the "others-oriented" leadership mindset, named as such because it takes the focus off of self and places it on understanding and acting on the multitude of perspectives you must consider when interacting up, down, and across your organization. If you want to thrive in leading from the middle, it can't be all about you. It's about helping everyone and everything around you to thrive. It's about the ecosystem, not the ego system.

For this reason, others-oriented leadership is related to servant leadership; it's even from the same leadership tree. However, it's a different branch with critical differences.

Classical servant leadership invokes an inverted leadership hierarchy; that is, the leader's main function is to serve those below him or her, putting employees' needs first, rather than vice versa. You don't think less of yourself; you just think of yourself less. You know that strength doesn't make you capable of rule, it makes you capable of service.

But service doesn't mean subservience.

With others-oriented leadership, while power flows through you in servitude, you don't deny your power, knowing when it must flow from you. You lead with others in mind, but make no mistake, you serve and you lead-you don't lose your authoritative leadership qualities, which can happen with a pure servant leadership mindset. You know when it's time to command and direct versus support and stay in the shadows.

Others-oriented leadership further distinguishes itself from classic servant leadership by avoiding the five stigmas (whether they're fair or not) associated with servant leadership.

1. Servant leaders can be pegged as too "soft."

In fact, the man who coined and popularized the term "servant leadership," Robert Greenleaf, said the best test of whether or not you're a servant leader is, "Do those served grow as persons?"1 Others-oriented leadership adds a second primary test, "Does the business grow?" In other words, others-oriented leaders ensure it's understood they value results, and how those results are achieved, equally. It means they spend as much time and energy on planning and executing to achieve company goals as helping individuals achieve theirs. They recognize at times they must first serve what the business needs, not what the people want. They know that what's needed for the business and/or employees doesn't always feel good. But despite the tension, they proceed with deliberateness, and always with empathy. They think like an engineer, feel like an artist.2

2. Servant leaders can fail to establish their authority and mastery.

As mentioned previously, in an effort to serve, servant leaders can over-abdicate authority and fade into the woodwork, at times becoming invisible to the organization as to their impact. They might take refuge in the comfort of serving their employees, not wanting to engage up the chain as much (which can be the opposite of comforting) and thus not establishing as strong a presence with their leaders.

All organizations love servant leaders, but they also want to know those leaders are highly competent leaders in their own right, with authority, control, and the ability to influence in all directions. Others-oriented leadership calls for a careful balance between stepping back to lead from behind and stepping up to lead from the front. Guidance for how to strike the right balance is coming up later in this chapter, in the "What's a Given" section.

3. Servant leaders can struggle with authoritative, command and control-type leaders.

Leading from the middle by definition means you must be effective upward. And yet, classic servant leaders often run into conflict with bosses who don't share the same leadership philosophies. For example, priorities can quickly clash with the servant leader seeking to protect the people first, and their leader wanting to protect profit first.

And related to number two above, the boss might want to see their subordinates with a servant leader style more clearly distinguish themselves from followers, believing that the servant leader style sacrifices the establishment of authority and mastery. This can chip away at the servant leader's credibility in the eyes of their boss, making it more difficult for that servant leader to get the resources and support needed to best serve their constituents. I've personally experienced this. Net, having an others-oriented leadership mindset helps those with a servant heart maintain that spirit, while upping their game in managing up. By the way, Chapter 4 ("Leading Your Boss") gives you the specific playbook for taking your leading up skills to a new level.

4. Servant leaders can be too one-dimensional in where their energy goes.

In their zeal to serve subordinates, they can underserve their chain of command, peers, and even underserve themselves. Reports of compassion fatigue (getting burned out in trying to always put others' needs first) are not uncommon with servant leaders. With others-oriented leadership, it's about directing energy and focus in every direction, up, down, and across the organization, not just downward-and yes, not forgetting to serve yourself as well.

5. Servant leadership doesn't fit every situation.

For example, in times of change (which we'll cover in Chapter 8, "Leading Change") or in times of crisis, a more authoritative approach is required. Or in the case of a leader working with new, young teams who may not know what to ask for, what help looks like, or what to do, servant leadership per se isn't the best fit. The mix of servitude and authoritativeness in the others-oriented leadership mindset is more flexible, applicable to any situation middle managers face.

The bottom line is that there are important aspects of leading and influencing up, down, and across that can't all best be handled with a blanket servant leader approach. Let's get into more specifics about what others-oriented leadership entails and how you can specifically embody it. What follows is a tool I've been teaching others for years; it will help you consistently practice the others-oriented leadership mindset.

The Others-Oriented Compass

When working from the frenzied middle it can be easy to retreat into yourself, to grasp onto self-interest as an anchor and lose sight of those around you whom you're trying to influence and serve. This tool will help you keep your orientation outwardly focused.

First, know that the others-oriented leadership mindset boils down to four considerations: what you give, what you give up, what's a given, and what you get. The topline detail for these considerations is crisply provided in the diagram in Figure 2.1, meant to visually reflect a compass, a tool to help you stay on course. (I carried a picture of this tool in my wallet to remind me how to act as an others-oriented leader.) Below the diagram you'll find an explanation for each aspect of the others-oriented leadership mindset, and in keeping with the compass theme, specific direction for bringing each aspect to life.

Figure 2.1 The Others-Oriented Compass

What You Give

If you're operating with an others-oriented leadership mindset, you give:

1. Credit and praise.   I learned long ago as a leader that the more credit and praise you give away, the more that comes back. This includes finding genuine reasons to praise your boss (balanced with corrective feedback, as we'll talk about in Chapter 4), getting that same balance right with your employees (as we'll discuss in Chapter 5), and bragging about your peers to their boss (as we'll cover in Chapter 6). Employees in all directions are starved for appreciation. In a survey I conducted among 3,000 executives, a whopping 68 percent felt underappreciated. Being a leader in the middle puts you in a unique position to create a positive ripple effect of gratitude.

The truth is, managers tend to give praise as much as they get praised (or not), up, down, and across the chain. Being stingy with credit and praise only encourages others to be the same way-not the multiplier effect you want.

Specific direction: Be frequent but not frivolous with praise, making sure to tie it to results or any other stated goal, or it will feel...