
Facing the Fire
Description
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"Facing the Fire is the best book on anger I have read; it is responsible, honest, practical, and a good read. I know the techniques Lee describes work, and the exercises alone make it a valuable book. I will use Facing the Fire personally and professionally."-Dr. Patricia Love, author of The Emotional Incest Syndrome: What to Do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life
Do you believe: Anger is a "negative" emotion? "Nice" or "emotionally sophisticated" people don't get angry? Anger will disappear when you have understood intellectually what causes it? You won't be angry if you just learn to forgive? If so, you are not alone. Anger is the most misunderstood and, consequently, painful of all our emotions. But denying, suppressing, and avoiding our own and others' anger can have unfortunate results: weakened immune systems, numbing addictions, stormy relationships, lowered self-esteem.
Now, John Lee, the nationally renowned speaker, teacher, and author, shows you a better way of dealing with anger. Based on his work with clients and his own experiences with anger, he:
• Uses real-life scenarios to help you understand what anger is, what causes it, and why it cannot and should not be avoided
• Carefully guides you through a process of confronting and getting past the fears-of losing control, of alienating people, of hurting yourself or someone you love-that keep you from honestly experiencing and accepting your anger
• Gently demonstrates ways in which you can express anger constructively-from talking it out to pounding your pillow
• Demonstrates why another person's anger, if it is expressed appropriately, need not be threatening or harmful to you-but in fact can help you
"Anger is our most misunderstood emotion. It is a fire that will either consume or purify. In this book, through effective and practical exercises, John Lee carefully guides the reader into a healthy relationship with this powerful emotion."-Wayne Kritsberg, author of The Invisible Wound
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Person
William Stott was born in New York City in June 1940 as France was falling to the Nazis. World War II has always been near the center of his emotional life and partly explains his having worked for the US State Department doing propaganda (then called "cultural relations," now "public diplomacy") during the Cold War 1960s; his posts were Dakar, Senegal, and Fez and Rabat, Morocco. Bill's books include Documentary Expression and Thirties America (1973, 1984); On Broadway: Performance Photographs by Fred Fehl (1978), with Jane Stott; and, in collaboration with John Lee, Recovery: Plain and Simple (1990) and Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately (1993).
Content
- Intro
- Title Page
- Copyright
- Dedication
- Epigraph
- Contents
- Introduction
- I. Your Anger and Where It Comes From
- 1 - The Child's Equation: Anger Equals Pain and Abandonment
- 2 - The Unsafe Angers and Our Escapes
- 3 - The Other Angers in Us
- II. Getting Ready to Release Your Anger
- 4 - Expressing Anger: Why We should Do It and Why We Don't
- 5 - Choosing the Proper Target for Your Anger
- III. Getting Your Anger Out
- 6 - Anger-Release Exercises
- 7 - People Who can Help You with Anger-Release Work
- IV. Your Anger and Other People
- 8 - Checking Up on Your Anger
- 9 - Feeling Safe
- 10 - No to Criticism
- 11 - What to Do with Your (Present) Anger, I
- 12 - What to Do with Your (Present) Anger, II
- 13 - Being What You Feel
- 14 - Managing Anger at Work
- 15 - Managing Anger in Love
- 16 - Firing Someone and Ending a Relationship
- 17 - Anger and Your Children
- V. The Benefits of Anger
- 18 - The New Equation
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