Introduction

You don't have to be a professional performer for your body to communicate your emotions, thoughts, and intentions. Nor do you have to be a mind-reader to fathom the people you interact with. What you need is an awareness of nonverbal behavior - including voice and body language - and how it impacts communication. Some movements and expressions are subtle; some are obvious. Some are designed to reveal; others seek to hide. All body movements and facial expressions tell a story. You just need to know what to look for to understand the tale.

Body language speaks the truth. While the spoken word conveys facts, data, and sometimes fake news - your body's movements, gestures, and facial expressions never lie. No matter what words come out of your mouth - "I love you," "I'm disappointed," "I'm fine" - if your body isn't reflecting what you're saying, your listeners become confused and believe what they see and sense rather than the words you say.

Your body relays messages about your attitude, intentions, and general state of being. Although there are times when you can't control your body's movements or just haven't a clue what your hands, feet, lips, and eyes are doing, all is not lost. With awareness and practice, you can determine which messages you relay through your gestures, postures, and expressions.

Although body language served as the means of communication long before today's spoken word, only in the last 150 years or so has nonverbal behavior - including vocal sounds as well as physical gestures, movements, and expressions - been seriously studied. During that time, people have come to appreciate the value of body language as a tool for understanding and enhancing interpersonal communication. Politicians, actors, celebrities, and other high-profile individuals recognize the vital part that their bodies play in conveying their messages.

Each chapter of this book addresses a specific aspect of body language. In addition to focusing on individual body parts and their role in communicating your thoughts, feelings, and intentions, you discover how to interpret other people's physical movements, including their gestures and facial expressions, giving you an insight into their mental state before they may be aware of it themselves. You see how performing specific actions and gestures creates the corresponding mental states within yourself and others. You find out how others perceive you and how you perceive them based on nonverbal behaviors. Approach body language respectfully and responsibly, and base your judgments on the clusters of movements you observe and the context in which you see them. Just as one word can't tell an entire story, nor can one gesture. By aligning your movements with your words, you experience the powerful impact of body language and the clear messages you can convey.

About This Book

For a subject that's relatively new to the study of evolution and social behavior, you can find a sizeable amount of research on body language. As businesses go global, international travel is more accessible, and meetings are regularly held online, people are acknowledging the impact of technology, culture, gender, and religious customs on body language as a way of communicating. While I've written the fourth edition of Body Language For Dummies from a mostly English-speaking Western perspective, Chapter 15 has been expanded to include body language in different cultures - what's acceptable and what could cause offense. Because of the vastness of the subject, I've been selective about what I've included and focused on using body language to enhance your relationships.

In this book, I explain how to distinguish and identify specific gestures, actions, and expressions that both confirm and negate the spoken message. By improving your reading of body language, understanding how body movements convey meaning, and recognizing how gestures and expressions reflect thoughts and emotions, you have the upper hand in your interpersonal communications. Through physical signals, you can direct the flow of conversation and facilitate meetings, discussions, and everyday conversations easily and effectively. I will also show you how thoughts and feelings influence gestures and expressions - yours and others.

The point of this book is for you to become conscious of the power of body language. To this end, I provide you with the means of identifying and interpreting nonverbal behavior and offer tips for sending signs and signals to enable clear and congruent communication.

Conventions Used in This Book

To help you navigate through this book, I use the following conventions:

• Italic is used to emphasize and highlight new words or defined terms.
• Boldfaced text indicates keywords in bulleted lists or the action part of numbered steps.
• Monofont is used for web addresses.
• Sidebars, which look like text enclosed in a shaded gray box, consist of information that's interesting to know but not necessarily critical to your understanding of the chapter or section topic.

Foolish Assumptions

I assume, perhaps wrongly, that you

• Are interested in body language and know a little bit about the subject
• Want to improve your interpersonal communication
• Are willing to reflect and respond
• Expect the best of yourself and others

How This Book Is Organized

Throughout this book, you explore and interpret facial expressions, gestures, breathing patterns, and postures, gaining insights into the meanings behind your body language and that of others. You pick up tips for developing and enhancing your relationships with different types of individuals through your nonverbal behavior. In addition, you discover signs that reveal what you might prefer to conceal, as well as signals that expose what you're happy to share. Finally, with exercises to practice and artwork to illustrate the diverse assortment of body language examples, your arsenal is stocked, and you're set to go!

Part 1: Getting Started with Body Language

Bodies always communicate. They always have. They always will. Consciously or not, people project their moods and attitudes through their posture, breathing patterns, facial expressions, and gestures. Body language creates powerful and lasting impressions.

This book's journey into the land of body language begins in Part 1 with historical and scientific data that supports anecdotal evidence. It offers the fundamental components of nonverbal behavior, gives examples of the impressions that specific expressions and movements project, and provides you with a firm foundation for coming to grips with body language.

Part 2: Starting at the Top

If you want to discover how tilting heads, raised eyebrows, scrunched cheeks, and puckered lips convey unspoken messages, this is the place for you. Here, you look at the many meanings divulged by head positions, lips, and eyes, such as lust and love; desire and despair; anger, arrogance, and assertiveness; pride and contempt; power and authority; and submission and superiority. You come to appreciate that as long as your facial muscles are in good working order, there's not a lot of emotion that you can't express.

Part 3: Letting the Limbs Do the Talking

Your posture (sitting, standing, or lying down), arm positions (open or closed), hands (clenched, fiddling, or folded in your lap), and legs and feet (held closely together or wide apart) all reveal and influence your attitude as well as the attitudes other individuals form about you. This part shows you how to welcome some people into your space and shut others out. As a bonus, you pick up tips for using accessories to increase your appeal and reveal the inner workings of your mind.

Part 4: Putting the Body into Social and Business Context

Whether you relish or abhor the company of friends, family, clients, colleagues, or strangers, engaging with people from similar and different socioeconomic backgrounds is a part of modern life. Interacting with individuals other than those with whom you relate and feel comfortable is nonnegotiable when living in a world where teamwork and good social karma are the gateways to success. This part considers the impact that space and seating arrangements have on relationships and perceived status. For those of you looking for tips on how to score at a soiree, interview for your dream job, influence someone whose worldview is different from yours, and communicate clearly in virtual settings, you can find them here.

Part 5: The Part of Tens

If your idea of a good read is to flip through easily accessible information, come on down! Demonstrating confidence, reading nonverbal messages, and building on your existing strengths - yes, you do have some - are here. If you want a quick tutorial on how to decipher gestures and facial expressions, turn to Chapter 17. If demonstrating confidence is more up your alley, look at Chapter 18. If you think developing your self-awareness and improving your interpersonal communication could be interesting, Chapter 19 is the one for you.

Icons Used in This Book

For sharpening your thinking and focusing your attention, let these...