Slayers: Volume 9

"An ordinary sword would leave you helpless against any ghosts or demons we come across. Besides, you still fight like you have the Sword of Light... and it's gonna give me a heart attack. Remember when we were fighting that sorcerer the other day and you cooked yourself toasty trying to cut through some Flare Arrows with just a sword hilt?"

"Can't say I do, actually."

Sheesh... He'd forgotten already?

I let out a momentous sigh, then said, "Point is, I'm not getting a halfway decent night's sleep until I find you a halfway decent magical sword."

"But can't we just buy one instead of going to all this trouble? That magic shop we visited that one time had lots of swords and stuff."

"C'mon, man. Those are just ordinary swords with talismans or amulets to enhance their edge. About the only supernatural baddies those'll work on are the crummiest tier of ghosts. They certainly can't cut through attack spells, and you can bet they won't do squat against a pure demon. So if we really want to get you a sword worth its salt, we gotta search it out."

"Don't they sell 'swords worth their salt' in those kinds of shops?"

"Heck no! Even if they got one in stock, some noble or royal type would snatch it up in an instant. If we ever wanna get our mitts on one of those puppies, we'll have to find it ourselves."

"I see. Sounds rough."

"Friendly reminder: this is your problem too," I grumbled, and just then...

"Ooh! There you are!" came a deep voice from the door. I turned and saw an old man standing there alongside the guide I'd punched out in the mountains.

Wonder if they're here to lecture us about their sword...

The two of them walked briskly up to us, and the old man lowered his voice, as if afraid of being overheard, to say, "Might you two be the ones who made a go at the sword out in the mountains earlier?"

"Yeah, why? Here to give us more grief for breaking your 'legendary' blade?" I said in a nasty tone, still smiling.

But the old man smiled right back, his own expression strained but ingratiating. "Perish the thought. Though this is related..." There, he took a seat next to me and continued in a hushed voice, "I'm the headman here, and as you can see, our village is very poor. It's not on the main road, and it doesn't have any special landmarks. That's why we had to do it. You understand, don't you?"

Aha. So he was copping to their "legend" being a fraud. This kinda sob story might work on any normal passerby, but the brilliant sorcerer-slash-swordsman Lina Inverse will never fall for such tripe! Okay, maybe the sorcerer-slash-swordsman bit wasn't exactly relevant...

"So your village is poor, you say?" I threw back at him. "Yet you seem to be doing pretty well for yourself."

"Erk?!"

"You got a right healthy glow for your age, and even though your clothes seem plain to the untrained eye, they're made of quality material. Same goes for your guide there."

"Geh!"

"Hrk!"

That comment drained the color from both men's faces. Yep, called it... Five gets you ten these guys were lining their own pockets with the sword scam.

"W-Well, all that aside... we just wanted to refund what you paid to see and pull at the sword," the headman offered as he produced a small leather purse and placed it on the table.

That's a little too hefty to be a simple refund... I glared hard at the two of them. "Hang on a minute... this wouldn't be what those in the business call 'hush money,' would it?"

"Er, you see, our village's reputation would plummet if any... unfortunate... rumors got out, which we'd certainly like to avoid..."

"So you want us to look the other way while you go back to making bank off your hoax?"

"Bwuh! No, of course not! We'd never try that again!" the headman assured me, waving his hands frantically. Of course, the look in his eyes betrayed what he was really thinking: Crap! She's onto me! "B-But this is all the money we have, so... Oh, I know!" he exclaimed, suddenly clapping his hands together. "If you're still in need of a sword, I happen to know of a bona fide legend! I'll tell you all about it in exchange for your... er, discretion?"

"A bona fide legend, eh?" I furrowed my brow at those clearly hollow words. No way was I gonna trust any leads fresh from the mouth of a proven snake oil salesman. "You sure this one's not phony too?"

"You'd better believe it! Of course, I haven't been to see the sword myself, but people are really talking about this one!"

"Hmm... Well, let's have it, I guess."

"Oh, thank you!" he said, immediately beaming with delight.

"A word of warning, though," I added, pointing straight at him. "If I think it sounds dodgy... You know where I'm going with this, don't you?"

"B-But of course!"

"Okay, then spill. Tell me about this so-called legend."

"All right... If you go east until you hit the main road, then travel four or five days north, you'll come to a town called Bezeld."

"Uh-huh."

"There's a cave in the mountain there."

A mountain cave, huh? I was already smelling fish.

"Deep in that cave, there's a sword stuck into a rock..."

"This tripe again?!"

Ka-crash! My fury-powered fist smote the headman square in the face.

"Darn it... If you're gonna make up a story, at least be creative about it..."

After I'd beaten the daylights out of the village headman for his lame, lousy lies and taken a huge surcharge out of his hush money offer, Gourry and I left the village in the dust. The sky out was clear and blue, the sunshine nice and warm. The main road was crowded with pedestrians and donkey carts coming and going.

We'd ended up empty-handed in regards to credible leads on magic weapons, but I couldn't complain about a little good ol' aimless wandering. Now if only some bandits with a big secret treasure stash would try to make a move on us, we'd be all set.

"Seriously though, what now, Lina?" Gourry asked as a wooded village came into view.

"Good question. I was thinking we oughta head for Bezeld."

"Bezeld?" Gourry scowled at this. "That name sounds familiar..."

"You know, the town that the village con artist mentioned?"

"Ohh. Yeah, that's right!" Gourry nodded in understanding, then scowled again. "But didn't you say that was bogus?"

"I sure did. And it almost certainly is."

Gourry cocked his head, unable to make sense of what I was saying. The birdsong continued as our conversation came to a silent halt for a time. Eventually, Gourry finally said, "I don't think I get it... Why are we going to Bezeld then?"

"Honestly? Because I don't have any better ideas."

"Oh, c'mon..."

"Well, it's not like we're drowning in plausible-sounding legends. And whenever a good lead does come along, someone else has always gotten to the goods first. So even if the story is implausible, I figure we might as well follow up on it. The key is just to take things slow and easy, like this is a sightseeing trip."

"I get that. It is nice to just enjoy the journey sometimes."

"Sure is," I said with a grin, and then...

Fwooooom! The peaceful scene was interrupted by the sound of a distant explosion. I didn't have to search long for the source of the noise-a thin stream of black smoke was rising from the village up ahead.

"What the heck is that all about?" I wondered aloud.

"So much for enjoying the journey. Let's go, Lina!"

"Right!"

Where there's smoke, there's fire-and profit to be had! Thus Gourry and I took off running for the town.

When we arrived on site, there was a crowd forming around a house that looked like it had taken a direct hit by a Fireball. Part of it was a smoldering ruin, and that seemed to be the source of the smoke.

"What happened?!" I asked urgently.

But the villagers seemed just as confused as I was.

"That's what we'd like to know," one said.

"We heard a sound, and by the time we got here..." another added.

"A young girl lives in that house! Can you help us clear the rubble?!" a third asked.

"On it! I'll get this done in a flash." With that, I began to chant a spell. "Vu Vrima!"

Vrumm! Responding to those words of power, the dirt nearby swiftly billowed up to form a golem. Murmurs of shock and awe ran through the onlookers.

"Golem, move this rubble aside!"

"Krrsh!" Heeding my command, the golem began rooting through the still-smoldering wreckage. But just as it got to work...

Shooooom! I heard a second explosion from the forest behind us.

"Golem, if you find anyone inside, get them out of the rubble and stand by! If not, keep clearing rubble until it's all...