Slayers: Volume 1

"Turn tail and run home, you petty thieves... unless you care to taste my blade," he said brazenly.

The frustrated bandit leader's face went from pale to purple.

"Butt out! This ain't none of your business! Just who are you, anyway?"

"I have no name for scum like you!"

Omigosh, now that was embarrassing. But it's what he honestly said, so I have to relay it. Guh, I feel like I just swallowed a bug...

Anyway, you see this kind of thing all the time. Whenever someone's in trouble, guys like this just come out of the woodwork! Funny that they're usually good-looking and pretty decent fighters to boot.

"You brat! I'll take care of you first, then! Get 'im, boys!"

"Right!"

And just like you'd expect, a big ol' swashbuckling action scene broke out. I considered helping Mr. Hero out, but then I thought, you know what? I'll let him have his moment. I decided to go all-in on the damsel-in-distress role instead, running around aimlessly and screaming my head off.

Boy, was that the life! I got so into screaming and flailing that the fight was over before I knew it. Needless to say, Mr. Hero came out on top.

"Are you all right?" he asked as he turned his eyes to me... and was stunned into silence.

This was fairly normal. I mean, not to brag or anything, but I'm a pretty hot little number. I've got those big, round eyes. That cute little face. The kind of trim, slender, petite silhouette that just fans a man's protective instincts.

He let out a grand sigh. (One of admiration, no doubt.) But then he whispered something I heard clear as day...

"Oh... it's just a kid."

Ack! Okay, that really hurt. But he didn't stop there.

"With all the fuss over her, I figured she'd at least be attractive... I stuck my neck out hoping I'd make a good impression... but it's just some doe-eyed, flat-chested little kid."

Oof!

Okay, so maybe I'm a little short for my age. Okay, maybe my chest is a little on the... modest side. And fine, maybe I look a little young for my years. But you don't have to twist the knife, dammit! I mean, sure, he probably thought I couldn't hear him mumbling to himself, but unfortunately for everyone, I've got pretty keen ears. I've been told they're as sharp as an elf's, in fact.

Nevertheless, it was true that he'd stuck his neck out to save me (even if I'd let him do it), so I figured I should at least thank him.

"Th-Thanks a lot. Really," I mustered with a forced grin.

"I only did what any man would have," he said with a faint laugh. "I hope you weren't harmed, little miss."

Little miss, huh?

"But you know, it's not safe for a young lady like yourself to be out here alone. Do you have an escort? Is your father with you?"

Grrr...

"As it just so happens, I'm traveling alone."

Arrrgh...

He probably couldn't see it with my bangs covering my forehead, but I was sure the veins were popping out of my temples.

"That won't do... But worry not. Your new big brother will see you home safely."

Why, you...! You...! You...!

"So, where do you live, little miss?"

Oooooh...

"Er, well... I don't have any particular destination in mind. I was thinking of heading for Atlas City, though..."

"Oh. Oh, yes, of course. What a brave little thing you are."

"...Excuse me?"

"There's no need to worry. Life can be complicated. I understand."

"Um..."

"No, don't speak. I understand completely."

Uh... huh.

I'd been staring at the ground this whole time, speaking in the most restrained manner I could muster in an attempt to hold back my seething irritation. But Mr. Hero here misinterpreted my polite reticence as caginess. He seemed to think I was some poor little girl who'd been forced to leave home under less-than-fortunate circumstances.

I patiently attempted to correct him on that point.

"Er, no, really... You see, I'm just kind of traveling the world, seeing the sights..."

"Please, no need for excuses," he said as though admonishing a child. "I won't press you any further."

Okay, yeah, this is hopeless.

"Oh, I know! I shall escort you to Atlas City myself."

Hey, hang on a minute!

"N-No, you don't have to do that..."

Give me a break! Atlas City was about ten days from here. Two hundred and forty hours with this irritating jerk? I was gonna get a stomach ulcer! No, my stomach was just plain gonna melt!

"Don't be like that, little miss. I can tell you need a friend right now."

That's not your call, man!

"Er, no... You really don't have to do that..."

That back-and-forth went on and on, until at last...

A few hours later, we were strolling down the main road side by side. Yeah, okay, so I gave in. My head was still pounding from the whole encounter.

"Oh, that's right. I haven't introduced myself, have I? I'm Gourry, a traveling mercenary. Though I guess that part was obvious enough. Now, what about yourself, little miss?"

I was irritated enough that I briefly considered giving him a fake name. But my better judgment told me there was no point in bothering.

"I'm Lina. Just your typical traveler."

I was honest about my name, though it should've been blatantly obvious from one look at me that I was anything but your typical traveler. Gourry, however, showed no inclination to call me on it. I guess he figured I had some reason for lying.

You see why I caved in the end? He was clearly a decent dude. A bona fide good guy. If he'd given the slightest inkling of creepy "Oh, yes, let's travel together, little girl... heh heh heh" shenanigans, I would've knocked him flat on his ass without a second thought. But Gourry seemed genuinely concerned about me, which was why I couldn't just turn him away...

But even so...

"But even so..." he mumbled to himself, apparently still under the impression that I couldn't hear him when he did this. "Babysitting some kid on her way to Atlas City? Not exactly the most glamorous job in the world..."

But even so, he really got on my nerves.

Once I got a moment to myself, I let out the big, deep sigh I'd been holding in all day.

We'd stopped for the night in a lodging town along the main road. After dinner, we went to our rooms. Gourry took his next to mine.

My own room was pretty small, with the floor and walls all made of wood. The furnishings consisted of a bed and a table that held a single lamp, which was the only source of light in the room. Not exactly the lap of luxury, but at least the place looked well maintained.

My nose got a heavy dose of the distinctive scent of burning animal oil as I entered the room and bolted the door. I quickly unfastened my cape, which I shrugged off unceremoniously. Whew, that was one burden off my shoulders!

With my cape on the floor, I immediately started rooting through it. It was still jam-packed with the spoils of war from my victory over the bandits-in other words, all the loot I'd swiped. That whole escapade had turned into such a mess that I hadn't had a chance to sort through it all since I'd first dumped it into sacks. I'd tried to be discerning about what I took-passing over anything too small-potatoes or too cumbersome-but I'd still made off with quite a haul.

I plopped down on my outspread cape and started pulling things out of my various leather bags. Then I held my hands up, palms facing each other, in front of my chest. I began chanting a spell under my breath, and as I slowly pulled my hands apart, a ball of light appeared between them.

I tossed the ball of light up toward the ceiling, and the room was suddenly filled with a radiant glow. This was a little spell I knew called "Lighting." I needed more than just the oil lamp in the room if I wanted to get a good look at all my new treasure. Let's see...

Two or three hundred considerably-sized gemstones. Some of them were scratched, but I could sort that out later.

One orichalcum idol... Ooh, that should fetch a good price.

Then there was a pretty big knife. It was technically a magic weapon, but the enchantment on it looked pretty nasty.

"Probably sends you on a killing spree if you use it too much... Well, it still might fetch a decent price at a magic shop somewhere. Next up..."

A dozen or so coins from the Principality of Letidius, which had fallen five hundred years ago. Woohoo! That one got a whistle out of me.

"Lucky me! I can sell these to any collector, no sweat."

That about wrapped it up for my haul. Not the most valuable stuff in the world, but about par for a random group of petty bandits.

Of course, "valuable" is relative, mind you. Even if I lowballed myself selling all of this, I'd still walk away with enough money to...