CHAPTER 2 ARE YOU A DRIFTER? "We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and adventure to discover our own special light." MARY DUNBAR When you go to a funeral, do you ever find yourself thinking about your own funeral, how many people would come and who would be there? If you don't end up dismissing these thoughts as morbid or depressing, do you ever think about the funeral in a bit more detail and imagine what people would be saying about you? What do you think your family, your mates and your work colleagues would say about you? Stop for a second and consider this. Beyond the usual comments about being great fun, always standing your round and being a good husband/wife/dad and so on, do you think anyone would be able to say what your purpose was, why you were on earth? Wayne Bennett, a legendary Australian rugby league coach, summed this up well when, before a State of Origin match (the sporting series of Australia), he challenged his players to train and play as well as they possibly could, in order to fulfil the purpose which they had been assigned and which they were born to meet, with the words: "Don't die with the music in you!" What a brilliant phrase that is. What do you think is the music in you? Psychologist Sigmund Freud called our purpose "the golden seed". At some stage in their formative years, most successful people remember someone telling them that they had a special talent. It could have been a teacher, a first boss, a priest, occasionally a relative, sometimes a mother or father. They tucked this private nugget away in their heart, but in times of doubt or uncertainty they pulled it out to reassure themselves that they were indeed pursuing their purpose. Lance Armstrong, who fell in love with cycling at the age of 15, was influenced by his mother, who wanted him to keep fit and active. Richard Branson, one of Britain's most successful entrepreneurs, discovered his talent when he started a school magazine with some mates. Muhammad Ali's anger at feeling powerless to stop his bike being stolen by bigger, stronger kids led him to a boxing ring, where he was encouraged by his local police officer. For Tim Waterstone, the founder of the famous bookshops, it was a fascination with marketing along with his interest in books that fired his passion for bookselling. Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb, was called a "stupid, muddle-headed blockhead" by a teacher at school. His mother who recognized his "golden seed" and she went to the school and told the teachers that her son possessed real intelligence. He said: "She cast over me an influence which has lasted all my life. The good effects of her early teachings and belief I can never lose. My mother never misunderstood or misjudged me." We all have a unique purpose. So how do you discover yours? Here are a few suggestions for you to think about:

Don't confuse your job and your purpose - they're not the same

Your job shouldn't define you. It should link in with your purpose, but it should not be your purpose. After all, what would you do if your job suddenly changed or disappeared? Think about how many people you know who have used the motivator of redundancy or retirement as a catalyst to go and do what they have always wanted. Your job should support what you have always wanted to do. Richard Branson believes, "If you are working for what really matters - your purpose - you will give it all you've got."

Don't mistake your relationships for your purpose

Don't get me wrong. I'm not advocating that you leave your partner, but think of the film Shirley Valentine. She knew that her marriage didn't suit her life and so she fled to Greece to try and find her purpose. Your relationship should be consistent with your destiny, but it should not be your destiny. After all, a shared purpose is going to be even more powerful.

Your goals need to fit your purpose

I write about goals in a later chapter, but what you do on a day-to-day basis should fit with your purpose. Do you find that you easily get caught up in tackling problems for others rather than being able to devote time to yourself and your purpose? Success is not the result of luck or spontaneous combustion. You must first set yourself on fire. Are you too busy putting out fires to be able to start any of your own?

Your purpose doesn't have to be overly impressive

Your purpose doesn't have to be all about resolving world peace or curing cancer (you aren't a Miss World contestant), so don't feel a need to invent something that is. Your purpose has to impress only you.

Your purpose doesn't have to make you a martyr

Your purpose should fit you like a glove and should not be governed by what others think of it. You are going to be the person living your purpose and so if it excites you, that's all that counts.

Your purpose doesn't need to be complex

Keep your purpose simple. Let it say something that stirs your soul and helps you to realize you are here to achieve. Jack Welch, the former head of General Electric who retired in 2001 after turning it into the world's most valuable company, said: "Good business leaders also create a purpose, articulate this purpose, passionately own it and relentlessly drive it to completion." Aim to have a clear purpose about what your life means and be able to explain what you are here to achieve. A great example of someone who discovered their purpose is the seven-times Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong. At the age of 24 he was diagnosed with testicular cancer and doctors gave him only a 40 per cent chance of survival. He said: "If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe I - we all - can learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there than hope. In that situation, we all have two options, medically and emotionally: give up or fight like hell." The evening before he was due to have brain surgery (the cancer had spread), Armstrong was forced to think about his own death, which was frighteningly real. He says that it was on this evening he recognized his own purpose in life: "I believed in belief, for its own shining sake. We are so much stronger than we imagine and belief is one of the most valiant and long-lived human characteristics. To believe . . . that is a form of bravery. Without it, we would be left with nothing but an overwhelming doom, which will beat you." His purpose wasn't to win cycling races - they were his goals - but by winning them, he proved that the power of belief can overcome the most difficult circumstances. After he had learned this he went on to win the gruelling Tour de France on a record seven consecutive occasions. When he first won it in 1999, he told the world's media: "When you get a second chance in life for something, believe in it and you will go all the way. I am proof of that." What is your purpose? Action "Here is Edward Bear coming downstairs now, bump, bump, bump on the back of his head, behind Christopher Robin. It is, as far as he knows, the only way of coming downstairs, but sometimes he feels that there really is another way, if only he could stop bumping for a moment and think of it." A A Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh  
This quote is a great example of our everyday lives. We have to move so fast just to get by that we never get the chance to stop and think about what we do and why we do it. Please take the time to stop and answer these questions, which will help you to identify what your purpose is:  
What are the five things you love to do? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. What are the five things you are really good at? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. What do you consider is essential for you to do in life?  
 
If you won the lottery, what are the three things you would do? 1. 2. 3. If you were writing your own obituary to be read out at your funeral, what would you want it to say?  
Now write down what your purpose is: Liquid Thinkers Andy Hardcastle  
Imagine the scene. It's a crisp, cold winter's evening where you can see your breath forming in front of you in the clear, clean air as you sit at the wheel of your converted 1950 series 1 Land Rover in the middle of the beautiful Trentham countryside. You flex your fingers around the steering wheel to maintain your circulation and gently shake your head to ensure that the muscles in your neck and shoulders stay relaxed so that you can retain your focus and concentration. It's been a long drawn-out day since you woke this morning and competed in the first race at 8 a.m. You clear your mind of tiredness and fix your full focus on the section of the course that you are now required to tackle. You heard the muttered comments from the spectators about it being impossible and you make a deliberate...