
Smoke
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Pattyn Von Stratten's father is dead, and Pattyn is on the run. After far too many years of abuse at the hands of her father, and after the tragic loss of her beloved Ethan and their unborn child, Pattyn is desperate for peace. Only her sister Jackie knows what happened that fatal night, but she is stuck at home with their mother, who clings to normalcy by allowing the truth to be covered up by their domineering community leaders. Her father might be finally gone, but without Pattyn, Jackie is desperately isolated.
Alone and in disguise, Pattyn starts a new life as a migrant worker on a California ranch. But is it even possible to rebuild a life when everything you've known has burned to ash and lies seem far safer than the truth?
Bestselling author Ellen Hopkins continues the riveting story of Pattyn Von Stratten she began in Burned to explore what it takes to rise from the ashes, put ghosts to rest, and step into a future.
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Content
- Intro
- Publisher's Note
- Dedication
- Acknowledgments
- Pattyn Scarlet Von Stratten: Some Things
- Dear, Sweet God
- Eye for an Eye
- The Bus Is Crowded
- But Some I Can't Miss
- Behind Me
- Smelly Homeless Guy
- When the Girl Turns
- I Return
- Journal Entry, October 27
- Jackie April Von Stratten: Some People
- Violent Death
- Our Tiny House
- The Last Hours Blur
- Who Invited the Cops?
- Next Thing I Knew
- The Hazel-Eyed Cop
- I Can't Go
- It Seems Like Forever
- I Can't Tear My Eyes Away
- Green Eyes
- Next Thing I Knew
- And His Amen?
- Vitals Duly Noted
- Dad Stole Everything
- The Doors Close
- Not Speeding
- At the Hospital
- After What Seems
- Pattyn: Someone Touches Me
- A Sudden Bump
- What Can I Do?
- I Manage to Hold It
- Except He Has Forgotten
- No Sign of the Thief
- It Doesn't Come
- What Am I Doing Here?
- Whatever Adriana Said
- Journal Entry, October 28
- Jackie: Autumn Leaves
- Hospitals Stink
- My First Vaginal Exam
- Finally, Mom
- The Doc Pats My Leg
- Mom Slumps into a Chair
- Poor Samuel
- The Crackle Gets Louder
- She Plants Her Head
- I Want to Fall Apart
- But What Good
- She Stands to Leave
- All I Want
- I Wrap Myself Up
- Pattyn: People Have Got It Wrong
- I Creep from Sleep
- I'm Somewhere in California
- I Took the Blame
- A Soft Creak
- I Think She Might Touch Me
- The Baby Is on Fire
- I Send a List with María
- By the Time María Is Ready to Go
- A Term Comes to Mind
- Ruined?
- Something Moves Beside Me
- A Tidal Wave of Grief
- Journal Entry, October 31
- Jackie: Aeries
- Home from the Hospital
- What Isn't Funny, Really?
- Mom Limited the Viewing
- I Don't Recognize Everyone
- Grandpa Paul Isn't Alone
- Everyone Walks Past
- The Casket Is Closed
- Eulogies
- The Real Villain
- A Voice
- Kevin Waits
- Pattyn: A Storm Brews
- Nine Days
- If I Believed in Fate
- Too Many Hours
- We Arrive
- Or What to Ask
- Actually, It Does
- From Behind the Thin Metal
- I Might Be Unshackled
- Bottle Emptied
- Journal Entry, November 6
- Jackie: November Snow
- So, Basically
- I Did Ask
- With God's Grace
- I Wish I Knew the Details
- Snowed In
- LDS Faithful
- With Luck
- But She Can't
- Her Body Language
- It's Late Afternoon
- Something Pushes Me
- I Slip Out of Bed
- Pattyn: Barely Noticeable
- In a Regular Car
- The Highway
- A Big Concern
- I Never Thought About It
- And Now, Here I Am
- Stocked Up, Gassed Up
- I Glance at Angel
- Downpour Turns to Drizzle
- We Start a Slow Creep
- A Pair of Tricolored Dogs
- The Lady of the House
- No Immediate Response
- It Takes a Threat
- Journal Entry, November 7
- Jackie: The Truth
- Holding a Lie
- If I Could Only Find
- I Make People Laugh, Too
- Everyone's Heard
- Holding Everything In
- I Do My Best
- The Library
- My Study Hall
- We Spend an Hour
- We Do Not Talk
- Self-Confidence Bolstered
- The Bus Drops Me Off
- Pattyn: Holidays
- Last Thursday in November
- Right Now
- A Roar Lifts
- Some People
- That Piece
- The Final Third
- A Little After Three
- But It Isn't the Missus
- The Pop-Up Timer
- Thanksgiving Smells the Same Here
- Journal Entry, November 28
- Jackie: What Do I Do
- Monday, Post-Thanksgiving
- I Only Hope
- What's Freeing
- He Hasn't Said a Word
- He Stalks Off
- We Have a Sub
- Maybe I'm Crazy
- It's on My Mind All Day
- PE Defines Humiliation
- At Least I'm Not Pregnant
- This Teenager Isn't, for Sure
- I Don't Want to Figure It Out
- We Work
- It's Such an Intimate Moment
- The Tender Moment
- Pattyn: Whispers
- Sleep Comes Hard
- I Settle Back
- I Get
- LDS Doctrine
- Little Hands
- Christmas Is Still
- I Sit Sophie
- There's More
- There's an Undercurrent
- Now He Crabs Sideways
- I Try to Finish the Movie
- The House Is Empty
- They Think I'm Crazy
- She Trusts Me or Likes the Grain
- Journal Entry, December 7
- Jackie: Hope
- Mom Got Her Way
- In a Way, I Understand
- If Mom Misses Dad
- Teddie Was Right
- Curiosity Insists
- A Thin Scream
- Nothing New
- Case in Point
- I Endure
- I'm Very Happy
- With Everyone Gone
- That Message
- There Are Three More
- I Must Admit
- By Dinnertime
- Gavin's Kiss
- Pattyn: The Word
- Stuck in Limbo
- If I Could Just Get Past
- Even There
- She's Wary
- Shoshone's Journey Here
- What I Know About Him
- What He Knows About Me
- One Sunday Afternoon
- It Stung
- He Shakes His Head
- It's Kind of Fun
- I Even Buy
- Deirdre's Boyfriend
- Very Bad
- Journal Entry, December 24
- Jackie: Questions
- Christmas Eve Morning
- Quiet Envelops the House
- He Didn't Hesitate
- I Shut My Mouth
- Joy
- Eventually, the House Stirs
- This Christmas
- I Have the Girls
- We've Never Had Guests
- Her Eyes Are Vacant
- While I Wait for Mom
- Mom Leaves 'Lyssa to Babysit
- Bishop Crandall, Psychologist
- The Sarcasm Is Totally Lost on Her
- To His Credit, I Guess
- Stupid, That's What I Am
- It's Me
- I'm Pretty Sure He Wouldn't Dare
- Pattyn: Memory Holds On
- This Christmas Is Extraordinary, Too
- I'm Growing Immune
- How Dare I
- The Fog-Draped Fields
- The Change of Subject
- Aunt J
- After Breakfast
- The Plaid Throw
- Journal Entry, December 25
- Jackie: The Brain
- Christmas Arrives at Midnight
- But I Hear No Answer
- That Sets the Tone
- I Look Over at Mom
- With Dinner Planned for Four O'Clock
- Embarrassment Blossoms Red
- Still, We Manage
- Pattyn: This Moment
- I'm Standing on the Fringe
- The Wind off the Water
- We Find a Big Piece of Driftwood
- Journal Entry, December 28
- Jackie: Time
- What I'm Looking Forward To
- Teddie Ran to Answer the Door
- Except for His
- The Upshot
- Pattyn: A New Year
- Another Year Succumbs
- As Per Our Agreement
- When She's Gone, However
- As Instructed
- In His Videos
- He Speaks Equus
- Journal Entry, January 1
- Jackie: The Truth
- Stroke of Midnight
- His Mom Is General Manager
- Love Surprised Them
- The Roads Are Plowed
- We Pull into the Driveway
- It's a Lifetime Movie Moment
- In a Bodice Ripper
- I Fly
- Pattyn: The Devil's Eyes
- I Try Not to Think About Heaven
- Who Knows?
- I Go About My Day
- As Monty Roberts Would Say
- His Initial Reaction
- As I Turn Away
- Whatever It Is
- Journal Entry, January 3
- Jackie: Abuse Survivors
- I Think I'm Losing It
- When I Really Consider
- I Display
- Officially Messed Up
- We Will See Each Other
- Mom Drops Me Off
- No Jinxing
- It's Hard to Ignore
- I Zip My Jacket
- I Didn't Hear Him Say It Then
- Here, Real Time
- No
- He Sounds Disappointed
- Pattyn: Memory
- January Drags
- A Tiny Voice
- Sophie Settles
- That Might Be That
- They'll Iron It Out
- Speaking of Dinner
- I Don't Meet Them
- This Time
- I Run the Shower
- Or Maybe It Already Has
- It Spins My World
- The Story Wraps Up
- Journal Entry, January 26
- Jackie: Justice
- An Eye for an Eye
- Almost a Month
- Not One Word
- It Stays Right on My Heels
- Not the Place
- The Last Bell Rings
- Caleb Just Smiles
- I Scream
- I Sink to the Cold Cement
- I Have No Idea Why
- That Makes Her Squirm
- I Want To
- That's What I'm Thinking
- Maybe It's What Happened
- My Question
- Pattyn: How Far
- Deirdre's Game
- What I've Learned
- Granted
- I Take Haven
- We're Sitting Very Close
- Right Here
- And So
- I Draw Back
- I Accept the Box
- Journal Entry, February 14
- Jackie: Hearts and Flowers
- The Valentine's Day Dance
- I Wasn't Certain
- But the Music Stops
- The Girl's Squealing
- The Music Resumes
- No
- He Tosses Something
- The Upshot
- The Thought
- We Are Almost Home
- Pattyn: Ascension
- Somewhere in the Distant Hills
- Morning Light
- Do I Love Him?
- Still, When Angel Wakes
- Surprise
- I Pop Up
- I Don't Like the Sound
- But Right Now
- I Grab a Deep Breath
- Jackie: Waiting
- Yesterday
- The Things Gavin Told Me
- Because Without Him
- School and Church
- Embrace the Truth
- We Go Inside
- Testimony Over
- Pattyn: I've Heard
- Death Approaches
- This Is Ridiculous
- Unreasonably, Birds
- His Slight Nod
- All I Can Do Now
- Jackie: Liberating
- Perfect or Not
- Something in My Voice
- Everyone Is Frozen
- At Least It Thaws
- Mom Actually Interrupts Him
- When We Get Home
- Pattyn: Déjà vu
- That Place Is Hell
- They Found the Note
- That Was Yesterday
- I Have Nothing to Lose
- Unloading Everything
- I Do and I Don't
- Journal Entry, February 18
- Jackie: Time
- Winter Flows into Spring
- It Was So Good
- But She Didn't Stay Long
- Courage Creates Courage
- At School
- Pattyn: If You've Never
- Heaven on Earth
- He's Healing Slowly
- If All Goes Well
- Today
- Most People
- In the Meantime
- No One Ever Told Me
- He Turns Away
- Smoke Rises into the Evening
- Finally, I Whisper
- Journal Entry, June 21
- Author's Note
- 'Rumble' Teaser
- In the Narrow Pewter Space
- Have Faith
- Case in Point
- Why, Then
- As I Wind Up
- A Tribute
- I'm Not Quite
- As Is Usual
- The Defiance
- Hi-Ho-the-Merry-O
- The Weight of His Sigh
- Which Would Be
- Fucking Great
- He Tries Another Tack
- For a Counselor
- It's a Total Lie
- Doesn't Matter
- About Ellen Hopkins
- Copyright
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