Persuade

CHAPTER 1

THE LAW OF CONNECTION

The SalesMaker Connects Emotionally Before Communicating Financially.

My wife, Kate, may appear to be a quiet type of person at first, but she lights up when someone engages her in conversation. Great communicators who know how to connect with others are often like this. They have an on-and-off switch. Great sales people, too, have on-and-off switches that allow them to connect and be charming or disarming at a moment's notice. Kate is very smart and quite good at connecting with others. When I asked her how she developed this ability to connect with others, she proceeded to show me instead of telling me. She did this by turning the focus of our conversation away from her, and toward me. She then demonstrated that I, too, am a good connector and gave me an example out of my life as proof. While she spoke about me, I felt valued and strengthened. Then, after demonstrating how she connects by focusing on the other person, she answered my question on how to connect by saying, "It's easy to connect. Just ask the other person something about themselves. As you get interested in what they are interested in, you connect with them."

In sales, we have a tendency to work at impressing customers so they will buy. Sales people are taught to do three things: 1) Present their product with strong benefits; 2) Position their company above the competition; and 3) Sell themselves in a way that impresses the customer. The talk-track of many sales strategies is made up of these three sales pillars. Utilizing this strategy may help close sales, but it has less impact and may backfire if it is employed before an emotional connection is established. Sales people may impress others with their product knowledge, but SalesMakers connect with others and build their influence by focusing on the other person.

When sales people want to impress you, they talk about themselves. When a SalesMaker wants to connect with you, they will ask about you. It may seem counter-intuitive, but the best way to impress others is to communicate in a way that makes them feel elevated. Talking about yourself or your company may get you in the door, but connecting keeps you in position to build the influence that makes the sale. When a customer feels a connection with you, they will give weight to your words and follow where you lead.

"When sales people want to impress you, they talk about themselves. When a SalesMaker wants to connect with you, they will ask about you."

Connecting for the first time with someone can be uncomfortable for both parties. Why is that? Everyone has a degree of insecurity about themselves. Insecurities can include feelings of not being smart-enough, thin-enough, fast-enough, likable-enough, and so on. Most people believe that there is something they lack. This is where our insecurities originate from. This list of "not-enoughs" can create emotional deficits that make us fearful to reach out for fear of being found out. Whether real or imagined, we carry these insecurities around hoping that no one will discover them.

Insecurities can become barriers to connecting. This is because insecurity directs our attention inward instead of outward. When attention is directed inward, we become self-focused whereas connecting requires an "other-focused" approach. Meeting someone for the first time requires us to reach out, be vulnerable, and even risk rejection, regardless of the insecurities we may feel. Sales people are no different than others in that they do not like to feel uncomfortable. However, the very nature of their profession requires that they embrace emotional risk and become exceptional at connecting if they are to be successful. The willingness to reach out, embrace risk, and resist the fear of uncomfortable feelings is not enough. A SalesMaker must be equipped with numerous, proven ways to connect with others. In the Law of Connection, I will share with you ten strategies for how you can confidently and comfortably connect with others.

Networking meetings are a perfect example of how sales people seek out their comfort zones. We attend networking meetings for just one reason: To make new contacts that could turn into new customers. Yet, within seconds of entering a room full of strangers, the first thing a typical sales person does is look for someone they know. Why do they do that? Because of a natural tendency to gravitate toward what is comfortable rather than risk rejection by someone new. Often it is a combination of insecurity and connecting incompetency that keeps us from forging new relationships. I will share with you a number of ways in which you can conquer your insecurities and improve your connecting abilities.

Do you connect easily with others? For me, I must work at it, consistently. After a lifetime in sales, I've met very few people who have a natural ability to connect with everyone, everywhere, all the time. The ability to connect with customers and forge relationships has to be developed.

Who do you know that is good at connecting with others? If you had to paint a picture of what a good connector looks like, how would you illustrate their personality? Outgoing? Likable? Sincere? Easy to get along with? The list of attributes of a great connector can be long, but a SalesMaker doesn't have to have them all to connect successfully with their customers.

Whether you see yourself as a natural at connecting or someone who needs to work at connecting and building relationships, the good news is that connecting is a skill that can be learned. Whether you are new to the sales profession or consider yourself a senior seller, the Law of Connection will provide you with tried and true connecting techniques for converting conversations into dollars.

I struggled to connect early in my sales career. If you ask me today if I consider myself a good connector, my answer is yes. Today I am comfortable and confident in my ability to meet total strangers, connect emotionally, and get them to follow me financially all in the first meeting! I am highly competent in my connecting skills, but I still do not consider myself a natural connector. In fact, it took me years to develop the skills to connect quickly on a cold call or first meeting with someone.

I am not unlike many SalesMakers I have met over the years who consider themselves more introverted than extroverted. An introvert is someone who may be a private person, who processes inwardly more than outwardly. In contrast, an extrovert is very outgoing, sociable, and often considered the "life of the party."

Many of the best SalesMakers I have known are more reserved, quiet types who are solid from the inside out. They defy the misconception that all great connectors are outgoing extroverts who easily make friends and were born that way. On the contrary, great SalesMakers know how to turn their "connector switch" to the "on" position when a social situation arises or a sales connection needs to be made.

What are some of the qualities within SalesMakers that make them great connectors? Great connectors are comfortable with themselves, comfortable with others, and can leverage that comfort in ways that help them to increase their influence. In the Law of Connection, you will meet different types of connectors, learn how to level up, and then leverage your connecting ability using actionable strategies. You will learn to connect quicker with customers, close more sales, and create more meaningful, lasting relationships that are beneficial to your financial future.

Five Positive Outcomes of Creating Connection with the Customer

What does it mean to have a connection with someone? The dictionary definition of "connection" is "a binding or joining together; to fasten or tie together." This definition makes perfect sense if we are talking about nuts and bolts in a mechanic's repair shop, but people and their emotions are much more complex than nuts and bolts. They don't always fasten together just because they are placed together. If you've ever struggled to connect with another person, you will identify with this.

In every walk of life, connecting with others and forming relationships are paramount to success. Ironically, connecting classes are not taught in formal education, yet it is the most important skill in all professions where success is dependent on one's ability to move people to action. Most of us learn it through trial and error.

The SalesMaker who learns to create connections with customers early in the sales process can accomplish five successful sales outcomes:

1. Financial Influence: Creating connection increases financial influence with the customer. Customers are more likely to follow a SalesMaker's financial recommendations and advice when emotional connection exists.
2. Emotional Warmth: Creating connection generates warmth with customers. When a warm environment exists, a customer will remain engaged longer, both intellectually and emotionally. The tune-out factor decreases significantly during periods of shared emotional experience.
3. Magnetic Attraction: Connection increases a SalesMaker's likability factor. Unless a customer likes the SalesMaker, it is unlikely they will buy. On the other hand, where connection exists, magnetism is created that emotionally draws the customer toward the SalesMaker.
4. Diminish Doubts: Creating connection can remove resistance early in the sales process. SalesMakers who can connect with their customers will increase confidence while pulling down the barriers of fear, doubt,...