
Splash Like Jesus
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Content
- Intro
- Description
- Title Page
- Contents
- Buttercup the Sloth
- PART ONE: THE LETTER
- Mothers
- The Frantic Hens
- Easter at My Grandmother's
- Kittens
- Tiger-moths
- Never Be Alone with a Goose
- My Mother and the Yachtsmen
- I Disagree with Everything She Says
- Mrs M.
- Jam
- The Tin Containing Butterdrops
- Fairy Liquid
- Armbands
- Garages Make Me Feel Sick
- Mrs P.
- Glass
- Zoo
- Red Ants
- The Letter
- PART TWO: SUNNYSIDE
- The Clock
- Centipede
- Everything Is Coming Together
- How to Lay Eggs
- Coconut
- The Hunt
- The Queen
- Surrender, Surrender
- Tinny Cows
- Songbird
- Boxes
- Pig Farming
- The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire in Hardback
- Summer Nights
- Honey
- Buckets
- I Contradict Everything She Says
- Swimming in the Dark
- PART THREE: SUGAR
- Sugar
- The Eyelashes of Ostriches
- God Has Thought of Everything
- Ostriches
- Rodeo
- When Darkness Falls
- Eerie Bittern
- The Bearded Man
- Monster Cloud Formations
- The Knife
- Fish
- Miss T.
- Virginity
- The Gold Handbag
- Ratbag
- Lily
- Chomsky
- The Violinists and the Viola Players
- My Mother at the Station
- PART FOUR: SWIMMING CHICKENS
- Swimming Chickens
- Tennis with My Mother
- Radish
- Mrs L.
- Psychiatrists
- The Hospital
- Sister
- My Mother's Devotion
- My Only Suitor
- My Mother's Car
- The Key to Happiness
- Tender Mice
- Home
- Flower
- Dog
- Husbands
- Breath
- Snowball
- Lobo-Lobo
- Ankle Socks
- The Person with the Red Suitcase
- Giants
- My Sisters' Little Sister
- The Centre of the Universe
- Goldfish
- Dressed Echidna
- Rowley
- Snow
- My Baby
- Pug
- Unexpected Booms of Cassowaries
- My Sisters in Their Cowboy Hats
- Don't You Dare Open My Door
- Our Lonely House
- Dogs Are Not Allowed in the Drawing-room
- Arson
- The Violinists
- The World's Deepest Lake
- Lobo-Lobo
- If a Clock
- The Dolls
- They Hate the Cold
- The Earwigs Are Distraught
- My Almond Snowman Cake
- Ginger Cookies
- Only in Their Dreams
- They Want Meringues
- Being Friends or Not Being Friends
- My Sisters' Nostrils
- My Sisters' Noses
- The Fish on the Sofa
- My Sisters' Hair
- A Game of Telegrams
- Honey
- Angels from the Realms of Glory
- Other People's Cars
- My Sisters' Faces
- As Ugly as a Shoebill
- Blister-packs
- Baking
- Ponies
- Going Shopping
- Men
- Bungalow
- My Sisters' Necks
- The Spider
- Toilet-bags
- Heron
- The Doctor
- This Paradise of Love
- Up and Down the Stairs
- What I Really Want to Do
- Dispirin
- Trombones
- My Sisters' Cars
- Enormous Flowers Wrapped in Cellophane
- The Snowdrop
- My Sisters' Body-parts
- Compassion
- The Giant Rabbit
- In Rooms That Echo Like Suburban Swimming-pools
- Shrimps
- The Tender Nurses
- The Heavens
- Behold My Father on His Bicycle
- Behold My Father in a Little Hat
- My Father's Hands
- Lollipops
- Thunderflies
- The Party
- The Finnish Word for Please
- Entomology
- Tarmac
- Chocolate Semolina
- My Father's Hat
- It Happens All the Time
- Anaesthesia
- My Father's Watch
- Boys in Shorts
- Oscillating Sprinklers
- Men Who Ride
- The Hutch at the End of the Garden
- Hope
- Duct-tape
- The Girl
- My Father's Birthday
- Violets
- Children Who Start Crying
- Knots
- Aquaria
- Pebbles
- The Lake District
- Mountaineers
- Swans
- Antarctica
- Chess
- Everyone Likes Sex
- Heat
- Cyclists
- Sugar Lumps
- Boxer Shorts
- Ricky Hatton
- Boys on Bicycles
- My Father's Friends
- Swimwear
- Strawberries
- The Feel of Noughts
- Golf
- Greyhounds
- Starry Nights
- The King
- Carp
- The Nurse
- Acrobatics
- Periwinkle Blue
- Kandinsky
- The Coffee Drinker
- The Maid
- Keeper of My Bath
- Acknowledgements
- About the Author
- Copyright
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