Chapter One: What the Hell is Going On?!

A girl screamed nearby. Startled, I raised my own voice.

"H-Hey, screen thing! What's going on?!"

A human and a monster are approaching from ahead. Please be careful.

"'Please be careful' isn't gonna cut it! Tell me things like that sooner!"

I am merely a guide. I will explain things, but I will not take care of everything for you.

"Oh, is that so..." Tch. Looks like I've been saddled with some kind of defective model.

Faint footsteps became audible, along with branches snapping underfoot. Ten seconds later, I could make out silhouettes. Someone really was being chased by a grotesque creature. The instant I caught sight of both figures, my shoulders jerked violently.

"Yikes!" The monster was a hideous little goblin.

The person being chased was a girl; she looked to be about middle or high school age. The monster, slightly shorter than the girl, had a distinctive appearance: Its entire body was green, its bloodred eyes gleamed, and it brandished a blade in its right hand while flashing a wicked grin lined with uneven teeth. It was humanoid, but clearly not human.

You have encountered a goblin. Please eliminate it.

This stupid screen! "Eliminate it." Like it's no big deal...

Honestly, as an utterly ordinary guy, my first instinct was to turn tail and run for my life. The only reason I didn't was pure sympathy for the girl being hunted. My legs trembled, but I forced one hand out toward the girl as she reached me.

"Grab on!"

The honey-blonde girl looked confused for a moment, but she seized my hand in hopes of survival. I felt a small hand, delicate and slender. Then I yanked her behind me.

According to the screen, the creature chasing her was a goblin, your classic fantasy monster. The goblin paused in frustration as its prey was pulled away, then noticed me-its new prey-and grinned widely.

"Ha...ha ha... So I'm next, huh...?"

The screen had said my stats were pretty high, that nothing in this area should even be able to harm me, but still...this was absolutely terrifying! The thing that had been trying to maim a young girl was now coming for me. My legs wouldn't stop shaking.

But running wasn't an option. Letting a little girl be attacked while I fled? That would've been beyond pathetic. Sometimes, guys do stupid things just to show off and look cool.

Gritting my teeth, I planted my feet firmly in the goblin's path. The goblin raised its sword overhead and leaped, and I instinctively brought up my arms to shield the girl.

Please don't let it hurt! I begged, but fear had glued my feet to the ground. The goblin's attack landed squarely upon me.

"Huh?" Did it hit me?

My eyes were squeezed tight, jaw clenched to brace for agony, but after several seconds, all I'd felt was the faintest impact.

I opened my eyes. The goblin's blade was pressed against my arm, creasing my shirt-but the blade hadn't even cut the fabric. I felt no pain at all.

"Wh-What's going on?"

The blue window answered:

Merlin possesses an Endurance value far exceeding the goblin's Strength. You will not take damage.

"S-Seriously?"

It wasn't kidding. My Endurance was off the charts. Even if the attacker was small, the fact that I was impervious to a weapon of any size was wild. Even my clothes were untouched, without a single loose thread.

"Nngh! Gah!" The goblin panicked, slashing two, three more times-but not once did it so much as scratch my clothing, let alone my skin. My trembling eased. I stepped forward to counterattack.

"Take this!" No stance, no technique-it was just a desperate full-force kick at the goblin in front of me. If I'm so durable that a blade can't hurt me, then with the same stat backing my strength...what kind of power does my kick have?

I learned immediately, though, that experimenting with my power was a bad idea.

The result was simple. The moment my foot touched the goblin, a massive shock wave tore through the area. With a thunderous roar, the goblin and the surrounding terrain were blown to smithereens. The ground, grass, flowers, and trees ahead of me all vanished, while a deafening explosion ripped outward for dozens of meters.

The goblin? Not a trace left behind. All that remained was a gaping crater where the forest had once been, me sitting flat on my butt in shock, and the girl still hiding behind me.

My whole body trembled. "Wh-What...in the world just happened...?"

The words that slipped out were directed at the screen. But no reply came. You bastard! Just how strong did you make me?! This is total overkill! One kick and the place looked like Godzilla had stomped through it.

Well...at least the goblin is gone. Resultswise...this has all worked out. If I think too much about this, I'll end up spiraling. More importantly-

I glanced back.

"Eek!" The blonde girl flinched violently the moment our eyes met. I hadn't meant to scare her, but given the situation, I couldn't blame her. I desperately tried to look nonthreatening.

"Uh...hello. Are you hurt anywhere?" Ugh. Too suspicious! If I were her, I'd press a panic alarm and cry for the police.

But the girl just stared at my face, completely frozen-and not from terror.

"G-God...?" she whispered.

"Huh?"

It was the first thing I'd heard from her, apart from her screams. Her voice was pretty, though just now she was using it to say something completely nonsensical.

"God?" I repeated. "What are you talking about?"

"A-Are you...a god?" she asked.

"Me? No way! Look at me! I'm just an ordinary person."

"I am looking, and all I can see is a god!" she countered.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked her, truly baffled by her insistence. She seemed puzzled by my lack of comprehension, but my confusion far surpassed hers.

If she'd decided I was a god just from seeing that kick earlier, then maybe I'd gone too far. Maybe she thought I was some kind of evil deity. I do not like the thought of that. I'm kind of afraid to hear her answer.

But her response took the conversation in a completely unexpected direction.

"You look exactly like the god illustrated in an old storybook I read," she replied.

"I do?"

"Yes." She nodded firmly.

Inside, I mentally screamed at the screen, What does that mean? What does that mean? What does that mean?! Explain, explain, explain!

Perhaps answering my plea, the silent blue window lit up.

When constructing Merlin's body, I used my own appearance as reference. It is not identical; please do not worry.

"How am I supposed to not worry?!" I shouted.

"Eek!" the girl squeaked. "What's wrong?"

"O-Oh, sorry. Nothing." Crap. I'd scared her by shouting. I covered my mouth and lowered my voice. "Sorry, but I'm not your god-just a human."

"But your hair and eyes are exactly the same..." she said.

"Y-Yeah, no, really, I'm not." Hey, God! Just how carelessly did you design this body? Did you ignore your own influence just to do whatever you wanted?

Furthermore, now I knew for sure: The one sending me messages was the god of this world. Was that good news or bad news? It was hard to say. Well, at least I saved the girl. Let's focus on that.

"Anyway, you're not hurt?" I asked her again. "Being chased by that monster must've been awful."

"U-Um...just some scrapes on my arms and legs," she said.

Now that she mentioned it, I noticed red swelling and small cuts on her limbs. Scratches from tree branches, probably. If only I had a healing ointment in my inventory...

There is no ointment, but you can use healing magic.

"Healing magic?" I repeated.

"Hmm? Wh-What did you say?" She sounded confused.

"Oh, sorry. This window says I can use healing magic."

"What window?" The blonde girl tilted her head, eyes searching the air as if she couldn't see the screen at all.

No way...

"Can you...not see the blue floating panel?"

"N-No. There's nothing there..."

"I see." So this window is visible only to me. A divine cheat ability, I suppose.

Not an "ability," but yes, something similar.

Thought so. I should avoid talking to it aloud in front of people unless I want to seem crazy.

"You can see something, can't you, Mister God?" the girl asked.

"I told you, I'm not a god. My name is-" I stopped just...