
To Be a Cat
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Cats have it made. They laze in sun patches, are showered with affection by loving humans, can cough up hairballs wherever they want, and never have to wonder why their dad disappeared one day and never came back. It's clearly much easier to be a cat than to be a middle school boy.
So when Barney Willow wishes he could be a cat, and gets his wish, he should be thrilled. Except he's not. He discovers that not all cats are cute and cuddly, and some of them are downright evil. He discovers that his own mother can't see past the whiskers to recognize her darling son. Worst of all, he discovers that his life is in grave danger...and he doesn't have eight lives to spare.
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Content
- Intro
- Dedication
- Chapter 1: A Secret
- Chapter 2: Barney Willow
- Chapter 3: To Be a Cat
- Chapter 4: Rissa Fairweather (and Barney's Birthday Timetable)
- Chapter 5: Barney's Totally Terrible Birthday Timetable
- Chapter 6: Miss Whipmire's Pen Cup
- Chapter 7: A Tiny, Tiny Moment in Time
- Chapter 8: The Wish
- Chapter 9: The Infinite Tiredness
- Chapter 10: Barney's Dream
- Chapter 11: Some Facts About Dad, by Barney Willow
- Chapter 12: The Hairs
- Chapter 13: Waking Up
- Chapter 14: The Jump
- Chapter 15: The No-Hoper
- Chapter 16: Best Friend(ly Giant)
- Chapter 17: D. I. E.
- Chapter 18: The Barney-Who-Wasn't-Barney
- Chapter 19: Cat Pancake
- Chapter 20: The Bus
- Chapter 21: Cat on the Run
- Chapter 22: The Unknowable Miss Whipmire
- Chapter 23: A Strange Discovery
- Chapter 24: Sardines
- Chapter 25: Poor Polly
- Chapter 26: Inside the Filing Cabinet
- Chapter 27: The Heroic Return of the Author
- Chapter 28: History
- Chapter 29: Rissa's Decision
- Chapter 30: The Howling Miaow
- Chapter 31: The Voices in the Dark
- Chapter 32: A Bad Feeling
- Chapter 33: Rissa Gets a Shock
- Chapter 34: A Whisper
- Chapter 35: A City of Books
- Chapter 36: The Cattery
- Chapter 37: Over the Hill from Weird
- Chapter 38: Princess Piglet's Pink-and-Pretty-Perfectly-Perfect Princess Party (and Other Forms of Torture)
- Chapter 39: Miss Whipmire's Visitor
- Chapter 40: A Bit about Pumpkin
- Chapter 41: An Accurate Description
- Chapter 42: The Warney Pillow
- Chapter 43: D. E. A. D.
- Chapter 44: Sixty-Three Sycamore Terrace
- Chapter 45: Miss Whipmire's Idea of Fun
- Chapter 46: The Water
- Chapter 47: The Barge
- Chapter 48: Carrot Cake
- Chapter 49: I Am Barney
- Chapter 50: Rissa Realizes
- Chapter 51: The Terrorcat (and the Stillness of Things)
- Chapter 52: A Heavy Truth
- Chapter 53: Hiding in the Bush
- Chapter 54: A Small Circle of Believability (or, the Wish He Wished He'd Never Wished)
- Chapter 55: Human Things
- Chapter 56: The Wind in a Wish's Sails
- Chapter 57: The (Almost Completely) Happy Ending
- About Matt Haig and Stacy Curtis
- Copyright
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