
Lessons from the Land of Pork Scratchings
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After two years in the UK, Gutfeld was12 kilos heavier but a lot more content. The key to his new-found contentment lay in adopting the British attitude to life: having diminished expectations reaps its own rewards. His hilarious observations on British culture, rituals and peculiarities at all levels of society are an illuminating insight into the land of pubs and curry, where everyone is called 'mate' and people with pimples and greasy hair can get on primetime TV.
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Content
- Cover
- TitlePage
- Copyright
- Contents
- Dedication Page
- Acknowledgements
- Introduction
- 1. The Life Coach
- 2. The Letter 'U'
- 3. Zippers
- 4. Rula Lenska
- 5. The Plane
- 6. The Guardsman Bear
- 7. The Minicab
- 8. A British Hotel
- 9. Blood Pudding
- 10. Guinness
- 11. Cutlery
- 12. The King and Queen
- 13. The Dishwasher
- 14. Traffic Wardens
- 15. The Lift
- 16. Jeremy Paxman
- 17. The Pub Lunch
- 18. Cunts
- 19. Mates
- 20. The Underdog
- 21. Chicken and Stuffing Sandwiches
- 22. The Mortimer Street Cafe
- 23. The Scarf
- 24. Crisps
- 25. Bank Holidays
- 26. Ibiza
- 27. Pepperami
- 28. Fairy Cakes
- 29. The Christmas Cracker
- 30. The Black Cab
- 31. The Drunken Man
- 32. Vomit
- 33. Shit Tattoos
- 34. Gingers
- 35. The Corpse
- 36. Old People
- 37. The TV Tax Licence
- 38. Clouds and Tramps
- 39. Irn-Bru
- 40. The Mobile Disco DJ
- 41. The Queue
- 42. Benylin
- 43. Pork Scratchings
- 44. The Bath
- 45. Shitcunt
- 46. Shower Gel
- 47. The Corner Shop
- 48. Oven Cleaner
- 49. The Stone Roses
- 50. Pub Dogs
- 51. The Round
- 52. Cobra Extra Smooth Premium Double Filtered Lager
- 53. The Office Reruns on UKTV Gold
- 54. Hen Parties
- 55. Car Boot Sale
- 56. Wellies
- 57. The Sun and the Stocks
- 58. Bobbies
- 59. The Barmaid
- 60. Bald Guys and Beer Bellies
- 61. New Year's Eve at the King and Queen
- 62. Straight Hair and Big Belts
- 63. The Pub Toilet Door
- 64. Darts
- 65. Mushy Peas
- 66. Herpes
- 67. The Pub Quiz
- 68. Earl Grey in a Chipped Mug
- 69. Sainsbury's Bachelor Alley
- 70. The Fat Man Across the Street
- 71. Gardening Leave
- 72. Gum Wads on Kate Moss's Face
- 73. The Foxtons Mini Cooper
- 74. ASBOs
- 75. Chicken Fried Chicken
- 76. Ice Cubes
- 77. Swans
- 78. Nil-Nil
- 79. The Fox and Dog
- 80. Wasps
- 81. Royal Ascot
- 82. Pickled Eggs
- 83. Waving at People On, or From, Boats
- 84. Windbreaks on the Beach
- 85. The 35p Coin
- 86. Chicken Balti Pie
- 87. Lou Beal
- 88. The Ripper
- 89. Martin Kemp
- 90. The Draught
- 91. The Fox Hunt
- 92. Thatched Roofs
- 93. High Tea
- 94. New Year's Day Parade
- 95. The New Piccadilly Cafe
- Epilogue
- Afterword with Johnny Rotten
- About the Author
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