Screaming on the Inside

"If this book feels like it's sounding the alarm on the state of American motherhood, well, that's because it is." -- San Francisco Chronicle

In this timely and necessary book, New York Times opinion writer Jessica Grose dismantles two hundred years of unrealistic parenting expectations and empowers today's mothers to make choices that actually serve themselves, their children, and their communities

Close your eyes and picture the perfect mother. She is usually blonde and thin. Her roots are never showing and she installed that gleaming kitchen backsplash herself (watch her TikTok for DIY tips). She seamlessly melds work, wellness and home; and during the depths of the pandemic, she also ran remote school and woke up at 5 a.m. to meditate.

You may read this and think it's bananas; you have probably internalized much of it.

Journalist Jessica Grose sure had. After she failed to meet every one of her own expectations for her first pregnancy, she devoted her career to revealing how morally bankrupt so many of these ideas and pressures are. Now, in Screaming on the Inside, Grose weaves together her personal journey with scientific, historical, and contemporary reporting to be the voice for American parents she wishes she'd had a decade ago.

The truth is that parenting cannot follow a recipe; there's no foolproof set of rules that will result in a perfectly adjusted child. Every parent has different values, and we will have different ideas about how to pass those values along to our children. What successful parenting has in common, regardless of culture or community, is close observation of the kind of unique humans our children are. In thoughtful and revelatory chapters about pregnancy, identity, work, social media, and the crisis of the Covid-19 pandemic, Grose explains how we got to this moment, why the current state of expectations on mothers is wholly unsustainable, and how we can move towards something better.

This incisive blend of social history and memoir asks the essential questions mothers are facing today:

• A Feminist History of Motherhood: Go beyond the platitudes to understand the 200-year history of how American mothers became trapped by impossible standards, from scientific motherhood to the rise of the supermom.
• Candid Mental Health Stories: From the author's own struggles with prenatal anxiety to the collective burnout of the pandemic, this book validates the inner screams of mothers everywhere.
• Systemic Failures, Not Personal Failings: An unflinching look at the lack of affordable childcare, paid parental leave, and flexible work that pushes mothers to the breaking point.
• A Path Forward: An empowering call for mothers to reject guilt, observe the unique needs of their own children, and advocate for a more humane and supportive future.