
Idiots at Work
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What's the strangest question employers have been asked during an interview? Among the responses:
* What is it you people do at this company?
* Why aren't you in a more interesting business?
* Will the company move my rock collection from California to Maryland?
* Does you company have a policy regarding concealed weapons?
--from Idiots at Work: Chronicles of Workplace Stupidity
Leland Gregory once thought crooks, politicians, and lawyers were the greatest nitwits out there, but it turns out that the working masses are packed with the dumb, dumber, and dumbest humans on the face of the planet. Gregory's look at nincompoops, Idiots at Work: Chronicles of Workplace Stupidity, makes it crystal clear that the world's biggest jerks are on the job. Consider these examples:
* The woman who sued Eastman Kodak to improve the lighting conditions on her job...in a darkroom?
* The Ontario Federation of Labor, which installed a bad boss hotline to get a handle on labor problems--only to have the system crash soon after startup because too many calls came in.
* The interviewee who wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.
Gregory has made a career out of finding the imbeciles of the world and sharing their antics with the rest of us. His AMP humor compilations What's the Number for 911?, What's the Number for 911 Again?, The Stupid Crook Book, and Hey, Idiot! were all hilarious, but Idiots at Work takes the cake. The book is filled with hilarious tales of moronic managers, office idiots, stupid shareholders, daft decision-makers, poor planners, and other outstanding examples of cubical klutzes.
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Content
- Intro
- Half Title Page
- Title Page
- Copyright
- Dedication
- Acknowledgments
- Rsvp-Rip
- A Weighty Subject
- Put a Lid on It
- That Baby was Really Smokin'
- Customers, Can't Live with Them, Can't Live Without Them
- Urine Trouble Now
- The Mouse that Roared
- Nice Work if You Can Get It
- Shareholding your Liquor
- Thanks for Nothing
- A Loose Screw
- Charity Begins at Home
- There's a Roach in my Chicken
- A Real Butt of A Company
- Y2 or Not Y2
- Just Let Me Ask you a Few Questions First
- Let's See What Develops
- Big Bad Boss
- Résumé Or Résumé not
- Head Shrinker
- Taking Candy from a Baby
- Uncustomary Customers
- Phone it In
- Cast Your Web in Front of You
- Clocked Out
- Reach Out and Touch Someone
- Lost in Translation
- Questions, Questions, Questions
- Control Z
- A Furry Facsimile
- Getting Screwed-Over at Work
- Aluminum and Steel
- You can Take That to the Bank
- A Company Without a Sole
- Warning: Reading these Warnings are Dangerous to Your Mental Health
- 100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall
- The Seeds of an Idea
- It's Good to be the King
- From the Stupid Questions File
- Good Vibrations
- Govern-Mental
- Say Cheesy!
- A Shocking Discovery
- . And Decrease the Surplus Population
- Buttering their own Popcorn
- Reading, Riting & Rithmetic
- It's in the Bag
- What a Dip!
- Why Johnny Can't Read
- Always be Prepared
- A Rose by any Other Name
- Spam, Spam, Spam, Lovely Spam!
- Nice Work if you Can Get It
- How to Write English Good
- Fly the Friendly Skies
- Sleeping on the Job
- Computer Error
- Physician, Heal Thyself
- It Would be a Great job if it wasn't for the Customers
- Straighten up and Fly Right
- A Letter Shy of Stupid
- 1-800-Me-Tired
- Don't Stress Out
- Getting Rubbed the Wrong Way
- Get the Lead Out
- So What's the big Stink?
- This Job Sucks!
- Setting your Sights On School
- What Rhymes With Bucket?
- They Could Have Spelled Pare, Reap, or Pear.
- Snow What?
- Down But Not Out
- Long-Term Debt
- Please Hang up and Try Again
- Your Brain-Don't Leave Home without It
- Run for the Border
- They Threw a Party But Didn't Invite Me
- It's All There in Black and White
- A Perfect Dream World
- Drawing the Curtains
- Mouse in the House
- That Scared the Crap Out of Me
- They Said What?
- A Loose Circuit
- Border Patrol
- Going Postal
- I Don't Think That's What They Meant
- Moving On Up
- My Fine Feathered Friend
- Why Do You Want to Work for This Company, Again?
- Courting Trouble
- Colorblind
- You've Got the Power
- You Send Me
- Screening the Ignorant
- A Computer Hacker
- Out for Lunch
- Beat the Clock
- The Number you Have Reached
- The Hand that Feeds You
- Keyless Entry
- The Joys of Dealing with the Public
- What's it Worth to Ya?
- Wake Me When it's Over
- The Dues and Don'ts
- An Unreasonable Facsimile
- This Company Got Flocked
- A Doughnut Shy of a Dozen
- Arrive Alive
- This Customer was Already Fried
- Big Mac Attack
- Do not Pass Go- Do Not Collect $200
- Half as Old as Moses' Toes.
- A Cold Reception
- A Shot in the Dark
- Customers Say the Darndest Things
- Getting a Handle on the Situation
- Ho, Ho, Ho
- Indentured Servant
- It's One of Those New-Fangled Things
- Take Time off to Take Time Off
- Inconvenience Store
- No Joking Matter
- She's Got a Lotto Nerve
- Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign
- A Big Flop
- Customers, Customers Everywhere and Not a Brain in Sight
- Twice Charmed
- Break Like the Wind
- An Emergency Situation
- I'll Keep an Eye Out For You
- Expiration Date
- That's Just Goofy!
- You Won't Believe What i Heard
- A Radiant Employee
- Have a Nice Day
- Bent Out of Shape
- What's It Worth to You?
- Don't Get Your Nose Out of Joint
- Take a Load Off
- Say What?
- We're Looking for a Few Good Men
- Insert Tab "A" Into Slot "B"
- Quickly Getting the Point
- The Color of Money
- Letter of Recommendation
- And Now a Word From our Sponsor
- There's Wood in More Than Their Shoes
- Same as it Ever Was
- Crazy Hiring Practices
- Tales From a Travel Agent
- Tech Stock Pop
- Just Say No!
- Too Bad They Didn't Pad Their RÉSumÉ
- Hats Off!
- Get on the Right Track
- It's Crime Time
- Too Bad You're Not allowed to Kill Them
- Lick Me
- The Ultimate Comb-Over
- What Would Dr. Zaius Do?
- Her Work Left a Lasting Impression
- A Fool for a Client
- Why a Duct?
- Fly Me to the Moon.
- Frozen Assets
- A Stand-Up Guy
- For the Love of.
- The Mail's not the Only Thing That's Certified
- And you Look Like a Bucket of.
- Taking a Load off at Work
- Taking a Slice Out of Crime
- Getting a Head in Business
- Recycle, Reuse, and Ridiculous
- Better Late Than Never
- Drinking on the Job
- A Real Secret Sauce
- Working Your Way up from the Bottom
- A Dream Desk
- The Best Seat in the House
- Paging Oliver North
- Ralph Kramden Rolled Over in his Grave
- There's no Such Thing as a Dumb Question-Or is There?
- From the Colonel to the Klink
- Who Put the Cuss in Customer?
- Don't Be a Name Caller
- A Real Travel Adventure
- Head Cleaner
- One Down and Two Yards to Go
- Forgive Them for They Know Not What They Do
- Let's See What Develops
- More Than Just the Computer Crashed!
- Management Needs Rewiring
- Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
- What's For Dinner?
- Don't Do As i Say, Do as I Mean
- Odd Jobs
- Outdated Invoice
- Curbside Service
- Big Brother is Watching
- You've Got to be Kidding Me!!!
- Asleep on the Job
- Flushed with Embarrassment
- Physician, Heal Thyself
- Air Kiss
- Is the Customer Always Right?
- A Serious Paper Trail
- What Starts With an "F" and Ends With a "Ck"? Firetruck
- Open Up a Six-Pack of Trouble
- Taking a Little off the Top
- It Pays to Advertise
- Run and Gun
- Giving Your Boss a Dirty Look
- A Different Kind of Lettuce
- A Model Worker
- Without Them, Who Could We Make Fun of?
- This Man is Already Partially Refunded
- Around the World in Seven Minutes
- This Guy's Wires Got Crossed
- Reboot your Butt
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