
When the Balls Drop
Description
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In this no-holds-barred book of comedic and personal essays, Brad Garrett divulges his hilarious?and irreverently honest?experiences with the many challenges and ultimately joys of middle age, as he advises us on how to best navigate the dreaded ?second half? of life.
Ranging in topics from genetics to genitals, sex to stereotypes, and alimony to addiction, Brad leaves no stone unturned in this raw, laugh-out-loud look at getting older. With pieces such as ?No Scales in Heaven,? in which Brad points out the essential pointlessness of overthinking diet and exercise, and ?Celebrating Your E.D. (erectile dysfunction) During Your Mid-Life Crisis,? the star comedian encourages you to forget the overwhelming concerns that accompany middle age and to welcome the laughs?even if you throw your back out doing it.
Penned in the blunt, conversational, no-nonsense style that has cemented Brad's status as an icon in the comedy industry, this autobiographical book will help you accept that, no matter what, we all get old. So you might as well embrace it.
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Content
- Intro
- Dedication
- Being Forward
- Chapter 1: I Was a Ten-Pound Preemie
- Chapter 2: Jews Don't Dribble
- Chapter 3: Bitten
- Chapter 4: The Search for My Fifteen Minutes
- Chapter 5: Early Road
- Chapter 6: Learning Las Vegas
- Chapter 7: Perfectly Frank
- Chapter 8: The Road to Raymond
- Chapter 9: Goodbye, Sauce
- Chapter 10: "A Sober Guy and a Cocktail Waitress Walk into a Bar . . ."
- Chapter 11: The Power of the Pink
- Chapter 12: "Because I Said So."
- Chapter 13: Adam and Eve Had No Chance
- Chapter 14: Celebrating Your E.D. During Your Midlife Crisis
- Chapter 15: Dating after Forty-Five
- Chapter 16: My Body Is a Temple in Iraq
- Chapter 17: No Scales in Heaven
- Chapter 18: Embrace Your Stereotype
- Chapter 19: Mental Wellness
- Chapter 20: Bad Decisions With Good Intentions
- Chapter 21: Your Arms Are Too Short to Tickle Jesus
- Chapter 22: Dreck the Halls
- Chapter 23: Frequent-Flyer Fuckers
- Chapter 24: Politics: Why Try?
- Chapter 25: I Hate Poker and Golf Regularly
- Chapter 26: Why Fame Sucks
- Chapter 27: Dirt Nap for Daddy
- Chapter 28: Fifty Is the Old Thirty
- Photographs
- Acknowledgments
- About Brad Garrett
- Copyright
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